cosmic

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

you contradict yourself because youre a hypocrite. i contradict myself because i have a beautiful multifaceted mind.

*Pretends to understand things*

keeping wild animals as pets is bad. except me. let me into your house

girls be like . ooh new bruise

Casually saying 'I wanna bite you' to Soap out of cute aggression for his stupid smile and baby blue eyes. The second it leaves your mouth Soap is all over you, pulling off his shirt and panting, asking "Where? Where? Where?" Until you finally sink your teeth into his forearm like a dog with a chew toy.

sorry i accidentally called you "my victim" when someone asked about our relationship status. it will happen again.

i never wanna hear ohhh i drank too much wine i smoked too many cigarettes last night i feel awful. cultivate a european mindset. you just need an espresso. life is an alchemical process and you are the alembic

Shall we blossom into homies