i begged you everything

So lovely that the moment I opened my eyes I wished that when there is no more life left in your eyes

Eternal sleep will be the reality we keep

I sit on my broken down couch drinking coffee with extra caffeine, staring at mountains of laundry and toys everywhere, feeling guilty about the fact that I’m sitting when I have an endless abyss of dishes in my kitchen and I should be doing something else

My river of creativity is dried out and my s/o is choosing to be upset about something that truly is no more a big deal than spilled milk (of it was choccy milk I’d understand) and I’m trying to be more understanding but I just don’t.

I am a person who loves being touchy feely, but who also can’t stand being touchy feely. I love to cuddle but can’t stand breathing in someone else’s used breath

I didn’t feel like being touched and this has caused so much. And my explanation just isn’t enough somehow. He lives in the past and has a difficult time moving forward

Which I understand because that was me once upon a time but I grew out of it, resembling the tallest sunflower in a field of decay