Cram it, nerds

why do cherries have to be sexual & strawberries get to be all innocent. why are we slut shaming fruit. what is the sexual valence of a blueberry

“global birth rates are declining”…… yeah and so are the reblog rates on tumblr.com too, so what now

If you don’t have the time and money for both a girlfriend and a dog, then I, a terrifying werewolf, am an excellent bargain

sorry about not replying I think I’ve gone missing

You can tell a lot about a person by entering their mind palace and encountering their greatest fears and darkest hopes in a labyrinth reflective of their subconscious thoughts.

im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point

Melanie Martinez wishes she was Grimes. Grimes wishes she was Bjork. Bjork wishes she was 2 inches tall so she could go inside the computer and have a big adventure

Sorry I’m late I was touching soft moss on a stone wall

whats going on with mycareer

my human vaporizing machine continues to mistify people

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

“You never reply to messages” I am just one person okay I am understaffed