arrested development ( 2003 - ) sentence starters
↪ from all seasons. alter as you see fit
“i’ll leave when i’m good and ready.”
“i know you’re the big marriage expert - oh, i’m sorry, i forgot your wife is dead!”
“it’s like she gets off on being withholding.”
“nothing wrong with that.”
“there are so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.”
“i know it can never be, so i’m leaving. i’m enlisting in the army.”
“do you know where i could get myself one of those t-shaped pendants?”
“there’s always money in the banana stand.”
“how much can one banana cost, [name]? ten dollars?”
“where did the lighter fluid come from?”
“the seal is for marksmanship and the gorilla is for sandracing.”
“here’s some money. go and see a star war.”
“you couldn’t pick her out of a line-up of one.”
“i’m glad you got my message.”
“i’ve made a huge mistake.”
“here’s a candy bar. no —- i’m withholding it.”
“well i hope you also carry a spare bowl of CANDY BEANS!”
“wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit.”
“it’s vodka; it goes bad once it’s opened.”
“where the fuck are my hard-boiled eggs?”
“i am having a love affair with this ice-cream sandwich.”
“and that’s why you always leave a note!”
“i call it … hot ham water.”
“TAKE ME TO YOUR SECULAR WORLD!”
“there are dozens of us! dozens!”
“i’d rather be dead in california than alive in arizona.”
“i feel like a fucking idiot.”
“never promise crazy a baby!”
“i don’t understand the question, and i won’t respond to it.”
“it just makes me want to set myself on fire.”
“it was written half in english, half in … squiggly.”
“are you suggesting coconuts migrate?”
“i was going to smoke it like a cigarette.”
“this doesn’t bode well.”
“i hear the jury’s still out on science.”
“this is a tricky grey area.”
“i’ve never admitted to making a mistake.”
“this party is going to be off the hook!”
“i don’t know why, but this is it!”
“you’re killing me, [name].”
“why don’t you go away, get away, you’re hopelessly hopeless.”
“i’d like to cry but i can’t spare the moisture.”
“i don’t know what i was expecting.”
“[name], look what the gays have done to me.”
“i’ve opened a door here that i regret.”
“say what you will about america; thirteen dollars still gets you a hell of a lot of mice.”
“i appreciate your time.”
“hey buddy, are you alone?”
“oh [name]. after all these years, god’s not going to take a call from you.”
“did you enjoy your meal, [name]? you certainly drank it fast enough.”
“i’ll be in the hospital bar.”
“i want to know what it feels like to get my face socked in!”
“no, no, no. i am telling you. you are now punished. i punish thee!”
“i am going crazy with the boredom, [name].”
“it’s just that i was constantly being called to the phone, or i was asked a question, or i was being resuscitated and it was really hard to get a good work flow going.”
“i’d have to get up pretty early in the morning to get drunk by one o’clock.”
“i’m sorry, i’m just still on the whole ‘[name] being likeable’ thing. you know he’s only had sex with like four women, right?”
“that’s what it said on ‘ask jeeves’.”
“what? i want her to be prepared in case some bully at school is as clever as i am.”
“i’ve been charged with taking caring of you, and i’m bloody well going to do it.”
“let me ask you something. is this a business decision, or is it personal? ‘cause if it’s business i’ll go away happily. but if it’s personal, i’ll go away… but i won’t be happy.”
“am i that much of a monster, [name]? even to you?”
“i’ve seen one person die.”
“how come i’ve never thought of that before?”
“why don’t you just pick out anything you want?”
“i’ve always been deeply passionate about nature.”
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