Nat's Cool Blog

I’ve never felt the need to lock the doors behind me in my own house before

Gomen oomf Chan

Sometimes at night before I leave work, I stare into the empty sky as I stand beside my car.

Did you think about how my voice cracked and wobbled when I told you it was okay? How I still hugged you, even after I said sometimes some things didn’t need to be said? How when I said I loved you I could only stare past your head and not into your eyes? How for 40 minutes I comforted you instead of shedding any tears? How I still don’t blame you for intrusive thoughts we all have, but I hate you for telling me. You did nothing to me, all you said were words, why are they effecting me like this

I want a lock on my door

how do you deal with this. I want to die. I want it to be done with. What have I ever done to deserve this life. Am i truly such a bad person this is my reward

i yearn for the sky. one day I'll see it and i wont want to cry. one day i wont feel 13 still. one day I will feel normal. one day I'll feel like I'm worth something more

i wish i could die please pleasepl eaplsepl eplase please please please please. Every problem I have would be fixed if I was a man. What did i do in a past life to be cursed this way

I want to scartch all the skin off ym face I want to claw at my skin till Im bruised and bleeding get me out get me out

What's worse is he sat there and told me all this while I had my email open, waiting for something that could change my life, that would make me feel like I'm my own person with a legacy, but that something I know will never come. No matter how hard I try. Because I'm meant to live a life of misery

Maybe one day I'll stop feeling 13. Maybe one day I'll stop decorating my room because I'll realize I'll move out one day. Maybe one day I'll stop feeling like someone's mother. Maybe one day, I'll be my own person

autistic brother came into my room crying about his intrusive thoughts to sexually assault me, and yet I had to comfort him, I hugged him as he cried in my arms. I felt nothing. The words of comfort I said meant nothing. They felt so hollow. I can never escape being a woman, no matter how much I feel I am not inside