The Natural World

With his stupid handsome face and dark curly hair and casually cool, effortlessly aloof expression. Sirius looked as if he had never worried about a damn thing in his life and Remus pulled at the threads of his uniform every opportunity he got. Though, it was much harder to do so with his arms elbow deep in a potted plant, Sirius beside him writing up the report due within the next few days.

"How does the soil feel?" Sirius asked.

"Like soil, bloody disgusting..."

The corners of Sirius's mouth turned up slightly, not even enough to make a crease in his face. Barely there. But Remus saw it, and oh.

"Clay, sandy, loam..."

"That's a made up word," Remus said, trying to focus on kneading the bottom of the plant gently to check for any stray moving roots or insects, cursing himself for taking Herbology in the first place. Even if the years of gardening with his Mum had paid off finally.

"We've been learning about loam for two weeks."

"I said the word sounded made up, not the concept," Remus countered and the corners of Sirius's mouth twitched again. He shook his head and Remus's heart flipped, watching a stray dark curl fall out of the ponytail Sirius was wearing and fall in front of his eyes.

Oh.

"So conceptually, is it loam or...?"

"Clay loam," Remus told him, gently setting the plant back in the pot, and wiping his hands on a nearby towel. He watched as Sirius's eyebrows drew together softly, as he concentrated on the questions in front of him, writing out each word carefully in neat cursive. Despite wanting it to be a business arrangement--Remus assuming the worst from a boy in Slytherin with the last name Black who scarcely spoke to anyone in school and hadn't given anyone a reason to trust him, half of his peers walking around with marks on their arms--the plan had failed miserably. Not only did Remus realize Black was exceptionally adept at Herbology, but he was pleasant. He was easy to work with. He was exceptionally good looking and Remus found himself staring every moment he could, desperate for more. Imagining what it would be like to have Sirius's clipped fingernails and broad hands palming the back of his neck and touching his hipbones.

I’ve been watching you for ages and I spend my time trying not to feel it

Remus was beside himself, and delusional, trying to find excuses to talk to Sirius once the business arrangement was over, and feeling foolish as he did so.

Except.

Sirius would brush past him in the hallway, a broad shoulder skimming against his during passing periods and Remus wanted to taste the aftershave on Sirius's neck.

Sirius would send him whisper smiles in Herbology.

In Potions.

Every opportunity for a glance in each others direction became an opportunity for a secret smile, or a wink, grey eyes twinkling with nothing but trouble. Thats all Sirius Black was. Trouble. Not someone Remus wanted to mix himself up with in his final year, in the beginnings of a war. There was already talk of secret societies being orchestrated by Dumbledore; already reports in the Daily Prophet and resources for people who wanted to help. Remus knew he already had a target on his back as a werewolf, people unsure whether to trust him and getting involved with Sirius Black wouldn't help the cause any.

But then Remus would look up from his textbook in the library, and see Sirius Black at a table alone, looking straight back. A quick tilt of a dark eyebrow, asking--no daring-- Remus to move. Remus tapped his fingers on the desk, not breaking eye contact, the two engaged in the staring contest of the century, both determined not to break. He was just about to swallow his pride, his ego, and surrender to bravery when Sirius stood up from his table, casually walking over to Remus, silver and green tie loose around his neck, somehow still managing to look refined and not disheveled like the rest of the population.

Remus opened his mouth when Sirius got within earshot, to attempt a greeting. A hey. A I'm losing the ability to control myself. A stop looking at me like that, please.

A what would you do if they never found us out?

Sirius put his hand flat on the table, looking down at Remus, tilting his head to the side, "Hey."

"Hello."

"We make a good team."

"What?"

"We got an O on our Mimulus aurantiacus."

"Oh. Yeah," Remus said lamely, scooting back in his chair to avoid having to strain his neck to look up at Sirius. It was too close, it was too much. Remus could see every dark eyelash and the beauty mark below Sirius's left eye; his crooked eyetooth and the planes of his face and the warmth of his skin. Remus would put money on Sirius's expanses skin being able to keep him warm, thaw every chill in Remus's body, imagining what it would be like to be pressed into a mattress underneath Sirius.

What would you do if I went to touch you now?

And then Sirius gave him that smile, the corner raising higher than it ever had and Remus's breathing hitched at the sight. This boy was beyond intoxicating, more potent than any shot of firewhiskey had had ever taken.

"Don't want to talk to me anymore, Lupin?" Sirius asked, as teasing tone in his voice, "Project over and you can't be seen with me?"

"I..what...do you want to talk about?"

"I don't. Not really."

"...So I should...mind my own business?"

"Not that either," Sirius said, and bent down lower, leaning all the way across the table and Remus could feel his face flush. It was late enough that the library was nearly empty, close to curfew and students had mostly cleared out. Madame Pince was likely in the back and closing for the evening. And then there was Sirius, with his lips skimming the shell of Remus's ear as he spoke. "Can you be quiet, Lupin?" he whispered.

"I think so."

What would you do if we never made a sound?

"Good, because Merlin knows I have not stopped thinking about you," Sirius said, standing up once more. "I'll see you outside."

I can see you, waiting down the hall for me.

The next day, Remus turned the corner out Ancient Runes, instantly spotting Sirius leaning one shoulder against the wall, his expensive leather bag over the other. The whisper smile that first caught Remus's attention flickering, as if the other boy was unable to stop it at the sight of Remus, both of them remembering the night before.

An abandoned hallway, just shy of the library, hidden behind tapestries and staircases, the two of them ignoring both bells of warning for curfew.

One of Remus's hands above his head, plastered to the wall with the rest of of his body as Sirius kissed him roughly. Endlessly. Wanting to steal every attempt at conversation and word Remus could possibly offer and Remus let him. Sirius Black did not kiss nice and Remus wouldn't have had it any other way.

I can see you, up against the wall with me.

It was bold.

Exhilarating.

Remus finally answering Sirius's eyebrow of a dare and pushing robes off the other boys shoulders, throwing them to the ground, their feet caught in a heap of dark fabric. Stepping on toes and unable to get enough of each other.

"How quiet can you be, Lupin?" Sirius asked, his voice low. His hands on the buckle of Remus's belt.

"Very."

"Let's see about that..."

They keep watchful eyes on us

It's best that we move fast and keep quiet

Remus inhaled as he walked by Sirius with his friends, shoulders brushing, fingers touching for the tiniest of moments, the two of them lost in a fantasy together. Sirius cocked his head to the side, just enough for Remus to see the deep red bruise on his neck poking out of the top of his shirt collar.