Dip me gently; i have scolioli

I like seeing some of you ""regulars"" in my notes it's like oh hey that's my Coworker from Tumblr

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

you get it. you get the themes. i dont have time to do it justice. just look at it its on the ceiling

what’s the pink they put in pink lemonade that makes it so poppin

that’s pussy babe!

Is there not a single stock photo of someone drinking pink lemonade that would have been easier than putting a pink cloud over a water bottle

you think i do this shit cause it easy

star trek heritage post (June 1st, 2022)

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

if Open Link in New Tab is wrong then baby i dont want to be right

.That Judge Judy Pussy grip insane. You be calling her Judith on the second stroke.

My grip will rip your junk off, chew it up, and spit it back at you.

Imagine how I feel

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

big day for girls that had to come to terms with the fact that love will never fix your life or everything that’s fucked up in your head

well let’s see if I care

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

It doesn’t have to

Yes it does.

Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041