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This was originally made for the complex relationship between the wolf/deer alter in our system, it was shared with permission.

The term is coined by me

The flag is coined by a currently unnamed alter

This is completely free use and up for interpretation and remixing : - )

I believe there are, on a basic level, three modes you can be in that I call “Out”, “Am”, “In”. All these states right now refer to the BODY.

“Out” is a state that refers to YOU controlling YOUR BODY. It’s a feeling that I can describe as being like “I use this body. It is not me.” Now of course you can identify with your body in this state, but most commonly it feels like a disconnection by how other people see you in my experience.

“Am” is a state that refers to YOU as the BODY. I can describe it as “I am the body, I control myself.” You can still have an identity that differentiates from you “the body”, but you still see it as YOU.

“In” is a state that refers to YOU as INSIDE of the BODY. The easiest way I’ve seen this be described is “I am a soul inside the body.” I’ve seen control feeling like as if you were inside a robot, or as if you’re just a passenger in a self driving car. (I just wanted to add that control can be different for everyone in all three of the categories, I just try to explain them the best way I can.)

I know there are many variations of these states and it’s much more nuanced but this is the most simple way I can explain it for now. For us, the system I am apart of, these states can change with each member and with dissociation. I am curious to how singlets, and anyone else, view their own identity within these states, or if it’s something completely different.

Either way, I think it’s a good idea for people to sit down in silence and think about this stuff for a moment. Especially if you’re trying to build your own identity from scratch, or just learn more about yourself. Many people will fall down the path of not becoming, as in they will continue to be what everyone else has expected of them. Even if they don’t mean to, people will force their idea of how they perceive you onto you, and being a young child your brain is already so moldable. A lot of the time people feel trapped and stuck inside of this bubble created by people’s expectations and beliefs, I know I have.

One thing that helped me is realizing that your identity, your persona, literally YOU, can be anything you want it to be.

Literally, anything.

You can call yourself what you want, identify however you want, be who and what you want, and that’s that. (Within reason of course, because the freedom of expression and speech does not mean freedom of consequences and responsibility.)

You can put on whatever labels you see fit, try them on, take them off, and just say fuck it and make one yourself. Forget about societal expectations and being judged, because life is so much more easier when you’re at peace with yourself.

That’s enough for now.