Let's Be Content.

Do I have a job? Yes

Is the pay good? Yes

Do I get enough hours? No

: . I am looking for another job. I applied for 3 jobs today, made two additional resumes and updated the over geared version of my resume.

This is not something I'd ordinarily say about myself, but it might be true.

I'm thinking about how I talk about what I'm doing in my life to my friends. I habitually present myself as a sitcom character to them, but privately live out this almost arthouse aesthetic drama. I wonder why no one comes to my rescue, or just to sit... but the only people I invite are my parents. I don't visit my friends because I don't want to be a pest, especially when I don't know how to bring the sunshine.

It's like I don't see myself as a real person. I carefully manage my image-- regularly softening the edges so that my existence is pleasant and easy to accommodate-- but, in the process, I make myself so small that I'm not sure if people see me or take me seriously.

I will be working tomorrow!

The funny thing about this is that I'll be working for two of my former companies simultaneously in very similar positions to the ones I held before.

It should be noted, however, that I still want to move into another industry and I applied for a job related to that field today (in two different cities). I am also planning to check in with another organization related to my desired field next week.

If you talk to the God of the Bible, remember me when you talk to Him.

I have 3 dogs and I think I need to foster them out while I get back on my feet.

The oldest one (13 yo this month) is sick. He's had these bumps on his belly that worried us (and sometimes irritated him into biting them) for years. In the last few months, two of them have become smallish masses hanging from his private parts. I've taken him to the vet and run him through a course of antibiotics already this year.

Yesterday, I was away from the house most of the day and he refused to eat. I want to take him to the vet, but I can't afford it right now. I don't want him to die or be sick.

ALT text for my first Pinterest collage:

A brown skinned woman has her eyes closed as she sits facing away from the sun and the water on a beach. Her white blouse billows softly. Her dark, curls are pulled up behind her neck. She wears dark, high-waisted slacks. The words "soft and feminine" are foregrounded across her chest. Below this image is a series of four images: a gold framed mirror, a brown skinned ballerina in a room with a wall of framed mirrors, a metal hummingbird door accessory, and a brown skinned woman in a lovely soft pink dress standing before a fresco in a white room.

I accepted an insurance sales job that I'm pretty sure is part of an MLM, but promised weekly pay after I pass a state test. They're paying for my test prep materials and promised to reimburse me for the cost of the exam if I pass it within 15 days of yesterday.

Today is the first official day of my online courses. The in-person classes start on Monday.

My day started off with a call from a company I worked for during the pandemic. At that time, I was a remote employee. I applied with them either last week or the beginning of this week and I passed the interview today. The pay is good and my skills are locally in demand in the field.

I'm not sure if I told you yet, but I'm going back to school this term!

Life is full of unknowns, but this is one sure thing I have going for me at the moment and I am deeply excited about it. The field that I am studying is one I've been interested in since childhood, and, over the last year, God has put it on my heart to go back to it.

Have you ever noticed how insecurity-- of any sort-- takes a lot out of people? Being concerned about how you look, how you'll eat, where the next paycheck will come from, or where you'll sleep seems to absorb all of the best and brightest parts of your mind, doesn't it? If you have never experienced this, I am so happy for you.

As someone who has lived it, I pat you on the back. I'm sitting here beside you. We're going to get through this, Sis.

Today-- this-- was the hard part.

It was... but it isn't your whole life.

Take me for example. Even though the insecurities in my life caused me to endure embarrassment today, I still had a good day. I prayed in the morning and read a bit of the Bible before messing with the internet. Nice people went over and above their duties to help me. I was able to help my sister out (and spend most of the day with my nephew in the process). I went to the library and saw a friend. I got to have some good conversation with adults in my family. I was able to have a nice dinner with my family. No one died (people have been dying a lot recently, as they are wont to do in the winter). I had a good day. Most of my life is full of these sorts of simple good days.

This evening, my sister and I worked on my resume. I now have homework...

Tomorrow, my brother-in-law is going to show me another way to optimize it for different jobs.

Tomorrow's tasks:

Complete recommendation for a friend/(almost former) colleague

Write for 2 hours

Read Bible

Pray

Spend 10 minutes per room cleaning

Mom's $$ check-in

Prep Dog Meals

Cook and eat