Boss of the Band of Butch Bottoms

Doing the “comparing hand sizes thing” with a werewolf trying to flirt, giggling about how big and long their fingers are, meanwhile they’re internally panicking. How can you hunt and protect yourself with such small paws??? :( you dont even have claws.

This leads to you choking on thick werewolf fingers while they check and see that you don’t have fangs either :( !!! If they had a mind to hurt you there would be nothing you could do to fight them off or protect yourself. Why are you moaning like that

hey i'm sorry i called you knotpocket the first time we met. if i had known how many litters you'd carry for me i would have called you puppymill instead

I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it

I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally

Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere

Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it

can we stop treating mages as the party toy. im sick and tired of being laughed at and kicked to my knees every time i suggest one of the many ways i can help the party. i just dont fucking underst-lgkl glk glkglk

"i consent ♡" written on a whiteboard above princess's bed, obviously in 1 of th maids' handwriting

Please save and share this info where possible. This report has since been removed by Amnesty International due to legal threats of libel from JK Rowling. This information is no longer easily accessible.

theres a whole album of song titles you can make just from the words of this tweet

this makes smoking weed sound so much cooler than it is

PA Jingle: "A reminder to all pilots that no, you may not use your guns as sex toys. Stop trying to shove your dick into your rifle. We don't want a repeat of what happened to callsign 'Cracker Barrel'. Thank you."

They should make Carrie White a fat trans girl in the new show

She asks to play volleyball with the girls team. They start a harassment campaign against her. Her mom's a rabid gender critical radfem mumsnetter terf. At the prom she sets a gymnasium full of transmisogynists on fire with her mind. You get it.