Listen I Don’t Even Know Anymore, You Tell Me

Hi I’m Con. any pronouns. Adult. UK. Aroace

I’m autistic, so expect a lot of posts about stuff you like, then a lot of posts about stuff you don’t like. Feel free to unfollow if that occurs.

Uh yea, I don’t know. Have fun visiting my house I tailored for myself. Or visit my straw page

Specifically 5α-Reductase 2 deficiency (or 5αR2D). Jax is AFAB, but during puberty began to develop more masculine traits, which quickly led to him identifying as male. To try and mask his intersex identity, he began to present very much in the opposite way than his assigned gender at birth, which led to toxic masculinity and internalised intersexism.

Ripley: Pretty easy, but jasmines. She canonically has the association thanks to her jasmine shampoo, but there’s other stuff in there. Firstly the Disney movie Aladdin has a character named Jasmine who get with the protagonist, and while she is seen as a prize to be “won” at first, she has a lot of independence and depth. And that’s kinda how B acts around Ripley, they want to get back into a relationship with her, but she’s got a lot of her own stuff to be dealing with. Plus, the website I’m using to get the flower meanings lists jasmines as being “the flower of hidden meanings and secret whispers”, which is a sentiment that rings true not just of Ripley, but the entirety of Bordergrams. However, not only can jasmines mean love, they can also mean platonic attraction, and despite not being in a relationship by the time the books start B and Ripley have a good friendship. At first.

Ty: Daisies. To me, Ty is very much hippie-adjacent, believing in faith and peace above all else. Fittingly for Ty, daisies have a myriad of meanings: friendship, with how he takes B in to try and deprogram them; innocence, with how Ty priorities peace over conflict; and new beginnings; which is what he hopes to give B. Plus, daisies are an abundant flower, one that is super common anywhere you look. It’s a flower anyone can recognise and appreciate, and Ty’s efforts do not go unnoticed by the people he and his brotherhood are helping. And they are both resilient, even against the hardest of times.

B: Fittingly for the main protagonist, I have three: roses, lilies, and poppies. B deserves a bouquet. Now is the time to hop off if you don’t want spoilers!

Am I a fake Vocaloid fan? (Based solely on personal experience) (placements under cut)

Hi Lily! I do have a few…

1) I know I’ve posited this before, but a crossover with Murdle where SPY and The Division are in cahoots. Basically an AU of Murdle Book 3 with B and Ripley following Logico and Irrratino around respectively. Happier ending for the Bordergrams crew, though I’m not sure how it’ll end…

2) I want to write a fic expansion on B and Ripley’s time at Compass Academy. Maybe just a one shot for this, not too long, but a cute fluffy piece. Idk, I find it harder to write angst for an already dark piece.

3) as such, maybe a fix-it in some way? Like instead of Ripley faking her death and killing the director, Ty is able to reach her and convince her to join his side instead? Maybe, not too sure on this one.

So, honestly? I expected the book to be harder. It was still difficult, especially when it came to specific characters from TV Shows or real world celebrities, but generally I think NYT Connections and Only Connect Connecting Wall experience came in handy. Also I think Bordergrams fans would fuck with Only Connect, it’s a good show imo.

Now, onto the plot. Woah. That was a wild ride. Started off super cute between Ripley and B, then Case 20 happened. And B just got worse and worse, in the best way (I mostly hopped into Bordergrams because of my Murdle fanfic, I needed to see the B angst in order to properly scale the angst down for my own fic and wow that agent can fit so much angst). Very delicious, and delightful. Need to find a way to weaponise it in fics for the future.

Anyway, B is brilliant as well. I love them so much, I do kinda wish they were just referred to as they/them rather than they/he but honestly? A win is a win. They are so nonbinary I love them.

And Ripley! God she was great, I love how despite being physically absent for most of the book (or at least disguised as the Director) she still is so important. Second hand to the Director and takes them out to protect her partner, then sends them on a wild goose chase all the while still having feelings for them, only to realise how much she’s fucked it all up by the end? I know B is the angst machine, but Ripley has her own story going on and I wish we got to see more of it.

Also Ty! Only sane man, ends the book by declaring that he won’t let B win. Dude’s also probably got a thing for B, idk why maybe it’s just the Murdle getting to me. But he’s just such a chill guy, he might’ve come across strong with the whole “you’re in a cult” speech but he does succeed in reprogramming B. Only to watch them fall to the Division’s side again, and become so much worse. God nobody ends this book happy, huh? Delicious.

I can see that the angst might be a bit suffocating to some, but there’s some humorous moments and B is generally really fun to follow. Plus I love the little references in there to Murdle (as someone who headcanons Bordergrams existing as a fictional book in the Murdle universe it tickled me) and the shade thrown to Game of Thrones?! Damn, pop off book (maybe less Harry Potter references though…).

After T came out, I said that I felt like the song was mean spirited towards her, and I stand by that so much more with Rejected Diva’s release.