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Dennis Whitaker disappears after his first shift at PTMC, and a few nights later, Robby tells Jack that the kid has been involved in an accident, and his left leg has been amputated.
---
Jack only met Dennis Whitaker once, and he only feels a little bad in saying that with everything happening in the aftermath of Pittfest, he didn't really remember the kid that well. He had a vague memory of big, fearful eyes, a competence fitting of an MS3, and nothing particularly loud or remarkable about the kid.
He didn't think too much of it, beyond a vague and academic concern, when Robby greeted him with a frown a couple of nights later at handoff.
"Are you gonna tell me or do I need to guess?"
"Whitaker hasn't shown up for his shifts the last few days."
Jack blinks, taking a moment.
"The med student? Brother, maybe the MCI got to him. That shit was trial by fire, and the reality of what we do isn't for everyone. Maybe he's just taking some time, thinking about his options."
Robby nods, but Jack can tell he's not convinced.
Turns out, he's right not to be.
Jack has never seen Robby's face look as fucking haggard as it does when he takes Jack aside a few nights later, and breaks the news with as much gentleness as he's still got left in him.
Major traffic accident, car vs pedestrians. Multiple crushing injuries. They'd taken Whitaker to Presby because it was closer to the scene.
Amputation of Whitaker's left leg. Below the knee, Jack hears Robby say, and he knows realistically that it's a good thing. Lucky.
He can't bring himself to say it out loud, and neither can Robby.
---
The decision to take Whitaker under his wing is made without much conscious effort from Jack. It happens like a simple math problem, the outcome consistent and expected.
He goes to visit the kid at Presby, doesn't get offended when he has to introduce himself and then jog the kid's memory about where they've met before.
He lets the kid be numb, then sad, then angry, then sad again. He drives him to the support groups, and lets the kid be bitterly jealous over Jack's control of a vehicle.
"You'll have this again. But in the meantime you get to be pissed about it."
He gets his care transferred over to PTMC, and promises the kid that the ortho and rehab teams won't go spreading rumours or talking about him to his colleagues.
"They're not even my colleagues anymore."
"Hate to break it to you kid, but those pricks are persistent, and most of them have made a real nice ass groove for themselves in that department. Like it or not, those fuckers will be waiting for you when you get back. Robby's practically salivating."
Jack snorts, and tries to hold back another one at the kid's angry, puffed-up kitten scowl.
Jack knows this whole process well enough to know that the uptick of the corner of Dennis' mouth is a win.
He takes the kid to hydrotherapy, and he pulls some strings so that their first session is just the two of them, gently splashing around in the pool. Jack's not a physiotherapist, but he does understand the tightness around Dennis' eyes at the thought of exposing his new body to yet another perfect stranger.
He stands in the water and holds his arms out, waiting patiently for Dennis to be ready. Lets the kid cling to his arms, huffs a quiet laugh at the small sound he makes the instant he's submerged in the warm water.
"Yeah? Takes away some of that aching, huh?"
Dennis nods, quiet in the way that someone is when they're surprised that a promise has been kept. Jack slowly inches backwards in the water, only a couple of inches, stops when Dennis makes a gutteral, unsteady sound.
"I got you, I got you." The kid's fingers are leaving livid white marks on his biceps, but that's not important. "I'm not gonna let you fall. You remember what we talked about before? About what to do if you start to overbalance?"
"I know how to swim. I lost a leg, not my memory."
"Oh yeah?" Jack grins, gently bobs them both a little in the water. "Well if you remember how to swim, and you remember your piss-poor attitude, why don't you stop doing your best bubble impression and take some baby steps for me?"
Dennis scowls, and the indignation and curiosity almost cancels out his hesitation and fear.
"Shut up. What the hell does that even mean?"
Jack is so very glad he asked.
"Your bubble impression?" He shrugs, deliberately looking away from Denns' legs making their first hesitant shuffles. "Floating there looking pretty, but not doing much else."
"Oh, fuck you."
He's there when Dennis gets his first prosthesis, ready to catch him when the inevitable frustration and disappointment set in at the realisation that the freedom of mobility doesn't come without adjustments.
"Dennis. Look at me." The kid's face is blotchy and red, and he's been studiously avoiding Jack's eyes ever since they got back.
"It's okay to be frustrated. I know it hurts. It's a completely new piece of equipment being attached to a part of your body that never expected to have this attached. There's new pressure, new sensations, and it's all happening to new, sensitive skin, and muscle and bone that are still adjusting. Give yourself some grace, kid."
"I'm - I'm lucky to have this." Dennis spits out. That word again, the tricky sticking point that even Jack never quite got to grips with. "I shouldn't be complaining. There are people far worse off than me."
Jack hums, handing Dennis the antibac wipes and offering no further guidance on cleaning.
"Sure. There are definitely people who are worse off." He sees Dennis' head jerk upwards, finally gets that eye contact he'd been chasing.
"But I'm not talking to them, I'm talking to you. Other people have it worse, and you've still been dealt a shitty hand right now. Both things can be true. You're lucky to have access to the prosthesis and the rehab teams. This -" he gently pats the prosthetic limb like it has its own nerves "-is going to be the thing that gives you your freedom and mobility back. But right now, it's new and it hurts, and it'll take adjustment. Both things can be true."
He shows Dennis his own prosthesis, his own stump, and how the two work together. He was surprised at how intimate and vulnerable it felt, letting Dennis see him remove his leg and care for his stump at the end of a long shift. He was interested by his own tenderness at the process, as he'd long thought he was over any feelings of particular vulnerability where observation was concerned.
But he shared all the small things he'd learned over the years with Dennis. All the little things that nobody without a prosthesis could possibly be expected to know, despite their qualifications, because they were the kind of things you only learnt by living it. He softened when he saw Dennis' face set in such concentration as he told him about tips for dealing with hot weather, felt something in him ache a little tenderly at the expression on the kid's face when Jack talked openly about the need for hygiene and the reality of 12-hour shifts and sweat and residual limb care.
He was there the first time he saw it in Dennis' face; the realisation that different did not negate okay. He was there when the kid met with Robby (and really, it was supposed to be a meeting with administration first, but Jack wasn't stupid) to discuss returning for the rest of his rotation.
He was definitely there when the kid started to look at him with something dangerously close to admiration and worship and - if Robby was to be believed - little tiny hearts in his eyes.
"He's too fucking young for me."
"He's twenty six."
"Too. Fucking. Young. He's all caught up with looking at me as his saviour right now."
"Pretty sure he's seen you at your least glamourous. I don't know if you think you've been some kind of perfect, Florence Nightingale figure with endless pools of patience and grace, but let me tell you that you've been cranky, difficult, downright fucking belligerent, and I've heard you tell the worst fucking jokes in your reportoire. The kid still laughs at them and gives you cow eyes."
Dennis who has significant hearing loss after a farm accident as a kid.
Dennis who can’t afford working hearing aids, so makes do with a pair he found on Facebook marketplace.
Dennis who favours one side significantly, to the point of being convinced that everyone knows (they don’t), and they all must hate him for being useless (they don’t know).
Dennis who uses these janky hearing aids despite constantly giving him a migraine, because he can’t let anything compromise his chances of being a doctor.
Dennis who completely understands that Abbott needs a break from his prosthetic, and is often the first to volunteer to cover his charting in the middle of the shift.
Dennis who cannot give himself allowances, because he’s not properly disabled; not like Abbot is anyway.
Dennis whose hearing loss is “self inflicted” and therefore needs to deal with the consequences of his actions (he was six).
Dennis who absolutely will not let himself have hearing breaks in the middle of a shift, no matter how much pain his ears are in.
Dennis who can’t take his aids out at night because he sleeps in shelters, and his hearing is the first line of defence against an attack.
Dennis who recognises the symptoms of an ear infection, but can’t afford antibiotics and the hospital cracked down on “borrowing” medicine.
Dennis who collapses mid shift after a particularly bad bout of vertigo.
Dennis who doesn’t really remember much after this because the floor was suddenly very, very close, and he was suddenly very, very cold.
…
Robby who sees Dennis pass out on shift.
Robby who curses these damn med students for drinking too much caffeine and not eating enough food.
Robby who walks over to Dennis and tries to rouse him.
Robby who thinks Dennis looks a little too out of it for it to just be low blood sugar.
Robby who touches Dennis and notices he’s ice cold.
Robby who holds Dennis as he starts seizing.
Robby who catches a glimpse of white in his ear, surrounded by red, angry tissue.
Robby who swears loudly and violently when he realises “god-fucking-dammit he’s deaf”.
Robby who curses every god he knows the name of (and he knows a lot) for putting Dennis in this situation.
…
Dennis who wakes up with a very stressed Robby next to him, saying words like “septic shock” and “septic encephalopathy” and “infection spread” and “potential brain damage”.
Robby who raises his voice in frustration, and Dennis who flinches imperceptibly.
Robby who drags Dennis to audiologist appointments and forces him to pick multiple different types of aids so he’ll be comfortable wherever.
Robby who pays for the new aids, but lets Dennis think insurance covers them.
Abbot who forces Dennis to take hearing breaks whenever he takes leg breaks because he’s “bored” and “needs company”.
Abbott who, for the first time in Dennis’ life, sits him down and teaches him the ASL he learnt from his vet friends.
Dennis, who when he formally attends ASL lessons, realises he’s been taught to swear like a sailor, and his vernacular is entirely comprised of military slang.
Dennis who doesn’t understand why Robby and Abbott are being so nice about being deaf, and explains all about how it was his fault that he lost his hearing (he was six).
Abbot who gives Robby a look, and signs him up for therapy the next day.
Dennis, who comes to the realisation that the factors surrounding his hearing loss are heavily consistent with signs of child abuse.
Robby, who can only hug Dennis as he breaks down, mourning the childhood he thought he had.
Abbot, who makes him hot cocoa when he wakes up from nightmares and rocks him back to sleep,
And Dennis.
Who finally feels, for the first time in his life, he is not just tolerated, but wanted too.
The deep snow, the cold that seeps into your bones despite layer upon layer of clothes, the nose that never stops running, and the inevitable colds.
But, to be perfectly honest, Dennis has always been a little envious of his classmates.
It snowed every year in Broken Bow; it has always snowed there, and it probably always will. Centimeters upon centimeters of snow piled up on top of each other until they formed nearly impassable walls.
Perfect for making snow angels, building snowmen, and having snowball fights- and then retreating to the warmth of home with a cup of hot chocolate in hand.
Not so perfect if you were part of the Whitaker family and, after school, had to help out on the farm -there was no time to waste playing with your friends.
And then you’d feel the weight of the snow that just wouldn’t stop falling. You’d feel your ankles sink into drifts of snow so deep that you’d find yourself knee-deep in it. And it didn’t matter what clothes you wore, what boots you put on, or what gloves you wore. There would always be parts of your body you wouldn’t feel until after dinner, chills that no hot bath could ever take away, and in the morning you had to shovel the snow from the driveway before going to school to make his father’s job easier, since he was now struggling with that kind of work.
For Dennis, snow was never fun. The cold was never something to savor before he could get back to the warmth in front of the fireplace. He much preferred summer. Sure, it was hot, but he could walk around in shorts, take shelter in the shade of the big trees, and drink an icy soda because his mom made lemonade in the summer.
There were never any Christmas holidays – the farm didn’t run itself – or Christmas markets to visit or carnival rides, at least not for them.
They could consider themselves lucky if their father didn’t make them work when they had a fever (but they never skipped school!), but he, like all his brothers, didn’t look forward to winter, and for years it was one of Dennis’s least favorite times of year.
Not anymore, though.
In Pittsburgh, too, the snow is falling heavily and the air is cold, and in Pittsburgh, too, Dennis’s fingers and toes freeze even though he no longer has to work for hours on end in the fields.
But now, when his hands and feet are frozen, Michael hands him a cup of hot chocolate as they curl up on the couch, and massages his feet, telling him that it feels like he’s caressing an ice pop rather than a body where blood should be flowing.
Now he spends his winters in bed in his boyfriend’s arms, tucking his icy feet between his calves, and Michael mumbles something in annoyance but never pushes him away, sighing and stroking his back in concentric circles, trying to warm him up even more.
Now he has fleece pajamas (even though Michael still sleeps in a T-shirt and boxers -but that man is a living furnace, so Dennis isn’t surprised by anything anymore) with horrible patterns printed on them, but he loves them with all his heart because Michael gave them to him and because he’s never felt such a soothing warmth during a winter.
Now Michael comes over with layer upon layer of blankets when they’re on the couch together and buries him under them, then pulls him close with one arm and lets him rest his head on his shoulder while they watch a movie (where Dennis falls asleep 9 times out of 10 shortly after it starts because he feels safe and cuddled)
Now he goes ice skating (and when Michael found out that Dennis had never worn a pair of skates in his life, he got him dressed and they went straight to a store to buy both rollerblades and ice skates. This seemed excessive to Dennis because he had no idea if he’d ever use them, but Michael wouldn’t hear any excuses) and snowball fights with friends after his shift at the hospital.
Dennis isn't quite ready to say that winter has become his favorite season, but when he's in bed snuggled up to Michael, wearing his fleece pajamas and under the softest comforter he's ever felt, Dennis feels almost convinced that this is true happiness.
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Jack isn't great at taking care of his leg. He wears his prosthesis far longer than he should, he doesn't sit down enough during shift to rest it, Robby always has to strong arm him into using his crutches or chair at home and on days off.
Robby was, quite frankly, over it. He hated seeing Jack's leg rubbed raw after every shift. Hated seeing the wince he tried (and failed) to hide when his hip couldn't help but twinge with pain as he walked. But fighting Jack never worked, he always brushed off Robby's concerns, put his leg on anyway.
And, well, desperate times call for desperate measures.
Jack and Robby had the weekend off together. Jack had just gone to bed after coming home from his last shift for the next two days and Robby had just woken up for the day. Robby knew Jack would insist on wearing his leg over the weekend, and that was the last thing Robby wanted.
Once he was sure Jack was asleep, Robby went back to their bedroom to grab Jack's leg. He walked to the kitchen with it and promptly placed it on top of the tallest cabinets; even going as far as to get on the tips of his toes to push it back against the wall.
"That should do it," Robby sighed to himself as he took a step back from the counter.
He made sure to grab Jack's crutches and leave them propped up against the nightstand for when he woke up.
--
"Mike!" Jack yelled down the hall when he woke up a handful of hours later.
Robby set his book down and started to walk down the hall toward their bedroom, "Good afternoon to you too, Jack," he said as he walked through the door.
"Where the hell is my leg? I swear I left it here this morning," Jack said, gesturing to the space by his nightstand.
"I moved it," Robby said. "Even left you your crutches."
"I want my leg, Mike."
"You wore your leg for 15 hours yesterday, Jack."
"Mike, it's fine," Jack insisted.
"You are a physician, you know damn well it isn't," Robby scolded. "Just grab your crutches and get ready. I do still want to go get lunch with you."
Robby was waiting in the kitchen, shoes already on and keys in hand, when Jack finished getting ready.
When Jack walked into the kitchen, his eyes caught on something above Robby’s head.
"Michael," Jack said, his tone hard.
"Yes, my love?"
"Is that my leg on top of the fucking kitchen cabinets?" Jack's voice raised as he spoke.
"Yes," Robby replied flatly.
"What the fuck, man?"
"You don't listen to me when I try to negotiate, so I figured I'd just remove it from the equation entirely," Robby explained with a shrug. "Now, lunch or no lunch?"
"I'm not going out like this, Mike," Jack said, gesturing to the crutches on his arms.
""What do you mean 'like this,' Jack? You use crutches sometimes, it is what it is."
"Give. Me. My. Leg."
Robby sighed and set his keys down, walking over to Jack. He grabbed Jack's shoulders gently as he spoke, "Jack, you can't keep ruining your leg because you're too stubborn to need help on your days off. Let me drive and get the doors for you and carry the bags in and grab the mug you forgot in the other room. I didn't marry you so I could watch you be in pain 24/7," Robby's tone was kind but firm, leaving no room for more argument.
Jack's eyes were watery, "Do I get it back tomorrow?" he tried to make his voice sound light, but Robby could sense the emotions that ran beneath.
Robby chuckled, "We'll see, depends how well you behave today." He leaned in to kiss Jack, something quick and sweet. "Now, lunch?"
"Fine, yes, lunch," Jack said.
"Thank you for letting me help," Robby said, softer this time, smiling at Jack.
Dennis who is crazy touch starved and just. Does not notice. He’s been cuddling pillows his whole life and wanting for something that he couldn’t name, so he figured when he finally got with Jack and Robby that the feeling would go away. It, stubbornly, did not. Whatever itch it was remained unscratched.
Jack and Robby, oblivious to this, were trying to let Dennis ease into the relationship. The two of them had been together for years, and had kind of forgotten what it was like to be new to a relationship. So, if Dennis didn’t explicitly ask, they didn’t do a whole lot of physical touch. But, he rarely asked.
Robby was sitting on the couch with him one night, Dennis curled up against the arm of the plush fabric and his legs bend by Robby’s side. Robby’s hand brushed his knee, and his leg extended to lay across his lap. A little amused, Robby rubbed his leg and watched him absolutely melt into him.
Then, Jack had a similar experience. They were in the kitchen together, he he just needed Dennis to move over a bit so he could get into a drawer, so he guided him to the side with a hand on his back and hip. Dennis blinked up at him and leaned into his side, pressing their ribs together. Jack chuckled, “Sorry, baby, just needed you to move.” Dennis’s cheeks flushed and he shuffled to the side. Jack was sure to run a hand over his spine a few more times that night.
It all culminated one night as the three were lying in bed together, trying to sleep. Dennis was kinda wiggly most nights, but tonight especially he just couldn’t get himself comfortable. Jack patted his arm. “Sugar, get comfy. Bedtime.”
Dennis gave an annoyed little whine and pushed his arm up into Jack’s hand. Experimentally, he wrapped his whole arm around Dennis, who snuggled into it.
“Is that what keeps you from tossing and turning?” Robby hummed. “Cuddles?” He wrapped Dennis up in his arms too and watched the boy fall asleep within the minute.
From then on, they didn’t hold back with the touching.
@puppydogwhitaker said something about dennis getting him and trinity one of those best friendship necklaces but he gets one that's in thirds so trinity can wear two and i can't get it out of my head...
--
the first year they'd lived together, the day trinity always dreaded rolled around: her late best friend's birthday.
dennis didn't know what was wrong, not at first, but he could tell something was up. he and trinity had only been living together for a handful of months but he liked to think they were becoming friends.
when they got home he finally tried asking what was wrong. what followed was an awkward and stilted conversation filled with lots of "sorry"s on dennis' part.
eventually, trinity broke. big messy tears, heaving sobs; dennis had never seen her like this. through the tears she managed to tell him that it was her best friend's birthday, that this was her first year away from home, she couldn't even visit her grave.
dennis had scrounged up ingredients from their pantry and made them both shitty haphazard mug cakes in the microwave. he brought them out to the living room and said, "let's celebrate her." as he settled onto the couch next to trinity. "promise i'll have something proper for her next year."
--
and now it was next year. trinity didn't hold him to it, she was probably weird for even remembering his promise, right?
what she didn't know is that dennis put her birthday in his calendar that night. he wasn't going to forget.
by the sheer grace of god he'd ended up with the day off work. he went to the shopping center to pick up a small but properly decorated cake, it had her name in cursive across the top. he hoped trinity liked it.
he was on his way out of the mall when he walked past a Claire's and saw a display for friendship necklaces. he couldn't say what compelled him exactly but he walked in to take a closer look. there was a set made of three pieces instead of two "B.F.F." one letter on each pendant.
he and trinity had become nearly inseparable over the past year. he definitely considered trinity his best friend and even if it took some prying (and a couple shots of tequila) to get her to admit it, trinity would say the same. but dennis knew trinity loved her childhood best friend first, would always love her first, and maybe this was a cheesy way of acknowledging her but it still felt right. so he found himself with a three part friendship necklace and a birthday cake in tow as he made his way back to their apartment.
--
"what the hell is this, huckleberry?" trinity said as she walked into their apartment later that evening, still in her scrubs and ponytail messy from a day in The Pitt.
"it's her birthday. i told you i'd get the real thing next year, and, well, it's next year now!" dennis said, he was wringing his hands in nervous anticipation.
trinity dropped her bag at the front door and kicked off her shoes before walking over to where dennis stood. there was a cake on the kitchen counter and a small jewelry box beside it.
"it looks like you're about to propose to me," trinity laughed, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to stream down her cheeks. "but thank you, i didn't think you'd remember," she added quietly, not looking him in the eye.
"of course i remembered, trin. she's important to you, so she's important to me," dennis said with a soft smile.
"what's in the ring box?" she asked, trying to deflect from the emotions that were welling in her chest.
"oh! right. um, if you hate it just tell me and we'll forget it ever happened, but," he said as he reached to open the box, "i got us one of those dumb little friendship necklaces. and it has three parts, so you could wear one for her too."
"dennis...." trinity said in disbelief as she stared down at the necklaces in his outstretched hands.
"do you- do you like them?" dennis asked nervously. "oh my god trin did i overstep? i'm so sorry i-" dennis was rambling when he noticed tears running down trinity's cheeks.
"fuck, no, i- i love them. i love you. thank you," she said, wiping her eyes. "but fuck you for making me cry."
dennis chuckled, there was the trinity he knew and loved. "let me put them on you?"
trinity nodded quietly, moving her hair out of the way so he could clasp the chain around her neck. when he finished she looked down, he'd given her the two F pendants.
"friends forever," she whispered as she rubbed the charms between her fingers. she reached for the other necklace and gestured for dennis to turn around so she could put it on him. "there we go, B for bitch!" she said with a shit eating grin.
"walked myself right into that one didn't i?" dennis said shaking his head. "i love you, trin. i mean it."
"love you too, huckleberry," trinity said, grin shifting into a more genuine, earnest smile. "now i think it's cake time, you even got it decorated in her favorite color," her voice was soft and on the edge of breaking, but so full of love.
"c'mon, let's celebrate her," dennis said, squeezing trinity's arm reassuringly.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
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