Stay.

On a kick

In February of 2021, I wrote the following: “I feel like I’m never going to feel like myself again like how long will this take? I’m so sick of feeling this way. I’ve been feeling so isolated and alone. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere and I’m not apart of anything.”

There’s a lot I want to say. I feel so far away from these feelings. Just the other day I made a facebook post sharing that it feels like I haven’t been that consistently/severely depressed in months and I’m in fact actually happy? Seeing this old post just confirms how long it’s been and just how far I’ve come. I feel so happy and content with my life in this very moment. I have a job that I absolutely love and fulfills me with such a sense of purpose, I work at an assisted living and do activities with seniors who I absolutely adore, they bring me so much joy. But even outside of work I have so much to be happy and thankful for. I’ll be honest I may still have love for Ryan but the reality is he is no longer in my life and my life needs to go on without him, my life has actually been better without him. I think I will always have love for him and that is okay. I am very happily polyamorous now. I have two partners who I adore and others I share love with. I’m also firmly on the they/them train and that is pretty cool. Idk there’s more I wanted to write and share here, but I’m running out of steam.