I'm trying to say good things about the people I've dated because I must have had a good reason that I dated them. I tend to focus on the negative so I'm trying really hard to reframe my thoughts so that I don't feel like a total idiot for liking them in the first place when they ended up such stellar disappointments. It's frustrating trying to deal with a stupid breakup that is almost as unsatisfying as our relationship was... I'm at a loss for interesting, good people right now and it's terribly lonely. My roommate is out of town. My good friends canceled dinner plans with me last night (and I had already started making a huge amount of halibut and other food, ach!). The night before I was going to try to suck it up and go to my other friend's bday party where I knew two of my Exes would be, but it was already over by the time I got off work (1030, really?!?). I'm just feeling so pathetic and vulnerable right now and it doesn't help that my friends are nowhere to be found or don't want to hang out with me. Like, am I that bad? I'm always my quirky self but I am also a good listener and I'm funny and smart and good natured without being annoyingly positive. I just don't get how I keep fucking these things up no matter how hard I try? Am I so draining to be around? Do I have bad breath? How come people don't seem to like me when I'm trying so hard to be likable? (But not too hard. Just the right amount, really.) Ugh people are so lame

Tfw your heart is breaking just a little bit but you know you have no real right to feel that way