Hearing the soft words of the other, he cringed mentally. Nate. Of all people to have come in there to check on him, it was one of the few people that he didn't want to see at the moment. Couldn't it have been someone else? Apparently nothing could go well for him now.
He tried to ignore him, but with the other sitting down next to him, he didn't have a choice. He could have told the lad to fuck off, but what difference would it make.
"Armin said he didn't cut off my arm, so this must have happened before I came back." He didn't know what else to say. He couldn't so much really tell the boy who did it, after all, seeing as he didn't know who the one who took his arm was in the first place. It was a mystery to him and the rest of those who cared for him. Clenching the fist of his left hand as he dropped his monomessenger, he looked up, blue eyes meeting earthy brown.
Holding out the other arm, he cocked his head, the scarring on his neck stretching. Two thick ones circling around, and one thin one along the side, over his major vessels. "I worked out both arms equally. The only issue I'm seeing thus far is writing. I can't make new plans like this."
He pulled the blankets over him up a little further. He had forgone a shirt in favor of the bandages wrapping around his stomach. What was the point of a shirt on him when his wounds would just need to be changed again and again. Out of everything that had happened thus far, the loss of his arm was horrid. Even worse than when he lost his leg. Even then, he was helped by Sophie. Now, he doesn't even know if she loved him like she did anymore.
Pursing his lips, he couldn't help but release a sharp laugh at the other's words. "I take it you didn't pay attention. I'm a sham. All plans, tossed out like yesterday's trash." Running his hand through his hair, he gripped on the back of it, yanking on the length as he lowered his hand. Yep, this was real all right. Not just a twisted, cruel dream.
It felt like one, being comforted by Nate, of all fucking people.
"Y'wanna know what happened to the people who looked up to me last time? One of them went fucking apeshit, the other quit, and the other died. OK? My men are scattered. Not even the one who I ordered to kill me is still under my ranks. What does it matter if I'm a hero or not. Humanity has survived on the brink, and I couldn't even make a dent in the numbers piled against us." He dug his nails into the sheet under him, teeth clenching down. A sharp metal taste burst as he bit down into his cheek, an attempt to calm himself. Someone had to be the one to sacrifice his humanity for the rest of the world to survive, but what happened when humanity turned its back on the monster it created?
"Don't pity me. I'm not useless. I can still fight, even if I had no hands." His tone was sharp. He hated this feeling.