keep on trying

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

the cruel doctor pepper experimented on me and now im the first human soda hybrid

i have [gestures vaguely] my tendencies

I have three beverages advising me at all times

all weapons formed against bisexual women shall not prosper

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

the bisexual woman is so crucial to the atmosphere

When the post goes triple platinum in the mutual circle and you have to scroll past the same thing seven times in a row

you think that you're so alone in the world then you read literature from hundreds of years ago and you realize that other people have always felt this way

people are soooo mean to the color yellow and it hurts my heart like u mean the color of the sun!?!? daffodils and buttercups and dandelions!? canary feathers and fresh butter and the warm glow of light and the trees in autumn???? for shame. joyless.

“I don’t like this song because I can’t relate to it” skill issue. I’m mad at my husband I love my girlfriend I’m a lone cowboy I’m growing old I’m growing up I’m depressed I love my friends I’m perpetually horny I’m drunk at the club I love my husband again