I'm me

Piggy: Oh my god.

Sam: Alright. We have to hear this. Eric, get the wine. Does this end well or do we need to get the battle sticks?

Ralph: Oh, don't worry, it ended very well.

Eric: *getting the wine* Do not start without me. Do not start without me.

Simon: Aw, please tell us more about the kiss, Ralph. Was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?

Ralph: Well, at first it was really intense, you know. And then, oh god, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Sam: So, were you holding him? Or were his hands like on you?

Ralph: No, actually first they started on my waist. And then they slid down, and then they were on- well, you get it.

Everyone: ooooohhhh

[Far away, Jack is eating a burger, while Roger swirls a cup of tea]

Jack: And then I snogged him heh.

Roger: Tongue?

Jack: Yes.