AHEM. Hi, u see my username already but call me in any variation of it (Specs or smth like that), pronouns are she/he and I like queer ships in my gacha games (playing Genshin, HSR primarily, a lil bit of ZZZ).
Current interests are, excluding what I've listed above:
- Gsgw
- Alien Stage
- Turning (BL) [took a break from reading]
- Tscir [also took a break from reading]
I post all kinds of stuff and I'm all over the place for it. That's all byeeeee
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Nerd Ivan is so interesting cuz to me, he's like an Ivan if he was taught to be more like himself, not care about what other people think, and was raised in a stable and healthy environment as a kid.
Stigmata is a blend of pseudo-Catholic religion and BL that I love as much as it opens up a lot of mental wounds for me as a former catholic. As well as strangely nostalgic haha.
My most favorite fanon (or canon, I don't know all material posted by vivimeng) scenario of Ivantill's affection being showcased is them just cuddling in bed, whether that'd be as kids or they're grown-up. Just the act of staying close together and feeling comforted with the presence of someone you love or care about is just so... AAAAAAAAAAAA–
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I haven't seen other people's opinion yet but c'mon, there was no fucking shot Truvia survived getting impaled by a large claw through her torso, right??? I call bs, zzz does a lot of weird stuff with their story sometimes but this is just so blatantly stupid that I made me forget Serpico was there next to her.
One of the many parallels between Till and Ivan when it comes to them as individuals is their views on being in love and the progression of these views within the timeline.
Till believed he was in love with Mizi, having harbored a crush on her since they were children and lasted until they became young adults. His love was pure in a way that is fantastical, kind of escapist. It stemmed from him wanting to cope with the terrible treatment over him by his guardian and the constant torture within Anakt, but also to replicate the love he received from his mother Io from when he was young. Mizi, as an easy image of innocence, whimsy, and safety in Anakt Garden, Till latched onto the idea of Mizi as this symbol of purity, mistaking it for love. A 'love' that is nothing more than a childish and shallow crush.
Ivan, on the other hand, grew a fascination for Till and gradually fell in love with him because of Till's authentic and free self. Where Till mistook his crush on Mizi for something as deep and vague as love, Ivan mistook his own love for Till as a parasitic and vicious emotion or feeling that he believes is undeserving of reciprocation or acknowledgement by the person of his affections. He doesn't believe his love for Till is actual love, an irony when compared to Till's views on the matter.
Till chases or wants to live in a fantasy to escape the reality that hurt him; in the process, he doesn't see a complex but real kind of love that he'd find there than in his fantasy within Mizi. A 'fake' love that he thought was real.
Ivan twists his feeling for Till into something undesirable and loathesome, representing his inner self-hatred and detestment for his perceived lack of humanity. A love that was real and deserved acknowledgement and realization, but was treated as a blight.
Two differing perceptions of being in love, with the themes of fantasy and reality and the inevitable confrontation and collapse of their own understanding of love.
Till's 'love' for Mizi has now been understood as a childish crush, a fact Till acknowledges and aims to correct by finding Mizi. Now, he sees the fantasy for what it was and faced reality for the first time in a long time, with his many introspections and attempts in understanding Ivan as a person. He found Ivan's love for him when he decides to leave the fantasy.
Ivan's love for Till comes to a head when it became clear that Till would die in R6, something Ivan couldn't stand for and aimed right then and there to save Till from death. What he believes isn't love was what drove him to sacrifice himself for Till, and died with his belief that his 'so-called' love was unworthy of Till and the man wouldn't acknowledge it ever. But Till did, even if it took Ivan's death and years later for Till to know and understand what Ivan's feels are for what they were. Ivan left this reality through death while believing in something false, the opposite for Till's growth in understanding love.
Ivan never got to expand his perspective on his love for Till, while the latter was given that chance by Ivan through sacrifice. The karma Till got for escaping reality for a fantasy was living with Ivan's memory, something he wholeheartedly took upon himself to bear, cherishing his unrealized love's life and memory until the day he dies.
Till being my favorite alnst character isn't just because my type of fav character are the hotheads, but also because of the complexity of his emotions and coping with trauma, and the ways he handles it, both from feeling it and acting it out.
Till sings not just because he likes it and is good at it, but because he remembers the love his mother gave him when he sang to her (and with her). He keeps doing it even after his voice or ability to speak was compromised.
Till had a crush on Mizi because she represented an innocence and safety that he desperately wanted because he was cruelly separated from his mother and he's only been abused and belittled by his gaurdian, not knowing or understanding on a deep level that his version of Mizi in his head harmed her and his relationship with her, driving a deeper wedge between them than what kids their age needed.
Till had a complicated relationship with Ivan that began as a desire for connection and closeness, then continued as a mutually-built miscommunication and misunderstanding rabbit hole that he contributed to, not just Ivan. His need for that feeling of safety he tries to find in Mizi when he failed to get that in Ivan, despite the fact that Ivan has been the one trying to keep him safe this whole time; this fact of love and wish to be seen by Till realized later when Ivan is long gone.
Till is a hypocritical, flawed, and complicated person who couldn't help but retreat into himself because of the pain he had to endure; but then because of that, he latched strongly onto the idea or prospect of safety and innocence he lost, imposing it on Mizi. Then refused to face the reality of an actual bond/relationship that could have been something realized and entirely his own without it being unattainable, whether that would be because of fear, confusion, or denying that this person of a real bond (Ivan) is anything but a mere annoyance or trouble to him.
Till is a dumbass not because he's genuinely stupid (ehh maybe a little) or lesser in intellect, but because he's a human who's been traumatized into coping with fantasies and rejecting reality when it was clear it would break him.
(But when he did finally face that reality, it broke him as well as gave him the push he needed to keep moving forward with his life. It was just his rotten luck that it had to cost Ivan his life.)
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What if the Segyeins stop being lazy asses with biology and found a way to create kids for the gays?
________
I made these kid characters on a whim bc I half joked to a friend that I'd draw a mizisua kid. I delivered and then some by creating an ivantill and hyuluka kid as well. I have names for two of them already, Cadence (hyuluka) and Hanna (ivantill) but I haven't come up with a good name for the mizisua kid and I want it to be thought-out than half-assed.
Things I wanna see in alnst fanfics, basically just modern aus (me as I read mostly ivantill fics like a chump):
• Instead of Ivan and Sua being siblings, we have Sua and Hia instead cuz I want more of them
• Luka having a lot of siblings to reference his clones but instead the clones/siblings are alive and well and tease the hell out of Luka's crush on Hyuna
• Ivan is a dog person and owns a big dog he adores very much (referencing his close companionship with the wegyein dog in Anakt)
• Hyunwoo getting together with either one of Luka's clones/siblings
• Butch Mizi
• Well-built Till that isn't just him in the og universe post-canon as a rebel cuz I refuse to believe this boy is thin or smth like that (Round 7 Till changed my brain chemistry, LOOK AT HIS ARMS)
I wonder what the people only just getting into the GSGW manhwa (no prior knowledge) think of half the fandom going bonkers over the giant man with a tv head- Wait no, forgot who I'm talking to. I mean that, he's only shown up once by now, do they know that him being a giant man with a tv for a head, who wears a suit and gloves, has nothing to do with how popular he is?
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Breaking News: The guy who always wins his bets wins another bet!
Aventurine now outranks Pearl, who runs a planet. So can we please put the "he's powerless" claims to bed?
Every time any form of interaction between Aventurine and the IPC gets brought up in the game, I just grit my teeth now, because it inevitably revives the (literally) years-long debate: "Aventurine never wanted to join the IPC!" "Aventurine is a slave and has to stay in the IPC or they'll kill him!" "Aventurine was going to be executed for breaking his cornerstone!" "Aventurine hates the IPC!"
Saveeeee meeeee pleaseeeee.
I just don't know how the game can continually drop stuff like this:
This is, in fact, Jade telling Aventurine he can quit the IPC. At least 40% of this fanbase owed Jade an apology yesterday.
Yet the fandom can still struggle so much to understand that Aventurine is not the faultless victim that people seem to so dearly want him to be.
We not only now have in-game confirmation that Aventurine's after Oswaldo Schneider, but we even have confirmation that the entire Strategic Investment Department is after Oswaldo Schneider, which means that Topaz, Jade, and the other Stonehearts, are, in fact, Aventurine's genuine allies. He's not "using" the IPC to achieve his personal vendetta without his coworkers' knowledge--his personal vendetta is a standing Strategic Investment Department agenda item. They are all drinking the Hateraid together.
Aventurine's exactly where he (thinks) he needs to be right now.
Accumulating power through his employment with the IPC is not only what Aventurine originally wanted long ago when he got himself caught for the desert scheme--it's exactly what he wants right now, because everything in the Strategic Investment Department's plans aligns perfectly to his individual goals. Aventurine bet he'd get a promotion following Penacony because he wanted one. (Were we really out here thinking that the guy who always wins his bets would bet on something he didn't want? 😭)
Furthermore, this new SP description confirms that Aventurine was never at risk of execution for breaking his cornerstone. I still have no idea why people ran away with that idea when both Aventurine and the Myriad Celestia video itself confirm the only actual punishment on the table was losing his power:
Butttttt even if execution was an option they were putting on the scales, Aventurine already knew the outcome of the decision before the votes were ever cast. Aventurine wasn't in any danger, even from the start, because he already knew Diamond would decide in his favor:
Just as Aventurine said all the way back in 2.1, Diamond is explicitly a "ends justify the means" kind of person, and he acted exactly as Aventurine predicted, granting him a reward for his stunt in Penacony rather than any form of punishment. Aventurine knows the people he's working with. He knows the system and can play it like a fiddle. He's not Aventurine of STRATAGEMS for no reason, come onnnnn people. In this high-stakes game called life, the IPC is Aventurine's "hotel on Broadway," providing him everything he needs--it's extremely unlikely he'll be leaving them any time soon.
And this just continues to confound and frustrate people when it comes to talking about his character. Over and over again, it's "Aventurine isn't like the IPC; he wouldn't do the kinds of things they stand for!" or "He's only there to get revenge; he hates everything they do and doesn't support their colonizer land-grabs at all!"
But he has.
His primary role is in serving the Ten Stonehearts' "asset liquidation" function--that is, overthrowing anyone who fails to comply with the IPC's plans. He has murdered people specifically for the IPC; it's right there in his character story! D;
We had an entire subplot in Penacony about the noble struggle of the native Penaconians who gave their literal lives to free their planet from the tyranny of the IPC--and Aventurine went in and deliberately took that freedom away again. He has never expressed even the slightest regret for rewinding the clock on the centuries-long revolution that Hanunue and Mikhail died for. He effectively did to Penacony exactly what was done to his own planet and then got rewarded for it.
Aventurine is every bit as much of an IPC lapdog as any other member of the Ten Stonehearts--even less empathetic than some (Pearl, at least)--and has never claimed to be anything else.
In fact, the game goes out of its way to try to hammer this home by often refusing to let the Trailblazer respond to Aventurine in anything but a vaguely standoffish manner, repeatedly calling him out for being with the IPC--despite Trailblazer managing to befriend everyone else and be perfectly cordial with former enemies like Sunday, Skott, and Topaz. The game drills it into our heads constantly that, at least until my boy Sugilite Diamond drops, Aventurine is the IPC poster boy.
And people just can't stomach that, so they keep inventing this alternative version of him who is more sympathetic, less responsible for his own actions, who never meant to join the IPC, or who has no choice in his morally questionable schemes against others. It's big bad Jade's fault. It's fate's fault. It's anyone but Aventurine's fault.
But that's just... not the point of this character...
From the very beginning, all the way back to his days in the desert, one of the central aspects of Aventurine's character is the need to survive, because he carries the legacy and hopes of not only his entire clan but also specifically of his mother and sister, who died to preserve his life and believed that he would bring their people prosperity one day. Even if "their people" is now only him, the struggle to not end up squandering what his family bled and died for has haunted Aventurine's narrative from the time he was tiny.
Despite how much he has personally wavered--even clearly wanting to give up--Aventurine's story is, at its core, about living on no matter the cost. And the truth is that sometimes "the cost" of Aventurine's survival is other people's lives. More than 30 people went into the death maze when Aventurine was a slave, and only Aventurine came out, because when push comes to shove, he has to endure. Even while hoping it will happen, he can't allow himself to die a meaningless death or simply fade into obscurity. He's got to do his family proud.
First that meant getting into the IPC to try to bring them resources and aid. And then, failing that, now it (at least partially) means capitalizing on the convenient goal of the Strategic Investment Department to get one up on Oswaldo Schneider. It means doing everything he can to amass more wealth, more power, and more authority to fortify his own position. And it might even mean stabbing people in the back, if that truly becomes the only option.
(I'm actually inclined to think that Aventurine is rather more loyal than he paints himself and is unlikely to stab anyone in the back if he could absolutely avoid it, but if there was truly no other way to keep going...)
Of course, it's impossible to really judge Aventurine for any of this!
Everyone wants to survive, everyone does everything in their power to preserve themselves when things get ugly. The intention of gaining wealth and power to help family and allies is a noble quest. Revenge on a bad person is usually treated as justified in fiction, so going after Oswaldo is viewed very positively by the players.
But where is the line?
At what moment does one's desire for power, wealth, material comforts, and even revenge exceed the realm of nobility and become greed? Can gold gained by evil means ever be truly clean? If you're seeking riches for a good reason but still trampling over the less fortunate to get them, can your "good reason" ever really be justified?
In your quest to survive, to thrive, to be avenged, what--and who--are you willing to sacrifice?
That's the point of this character.
Aventurine has always been a walking contradiction: The victim who now helps victimize others, the colonized who now helps colonize, the eternal winner who has lost everything, with pockets full of money but with nothing worth cherishing, wanting to die and yet clinging to life.
He entire role in the story is to present us with a nuanced picture of the IPC's impact on the HSR universe:
Unlike Topaz whose conscience is still (mostly) clear (perhaps only by sheer force of will at this point), Aventurine is fully aware that the IPC is evil. He's not under any illusion that they're actually a force of good for the universe. He doesn't buy the "We help poor planets that can't help themselves" propaganda in the slightest, and he's made it clear that he doesn't actually approve of the methods some of his own coworkers (namely Opal) will stoop to. He thinks the IPC are pretty shitty people, and doesn't reserve that opinion just for Oswaldo Schneider.
But he also contributes to the system knowing it is fundamentally evil.
He willingly joined the organization that contributed to his sister's death. He willingly helps undermine planets' freedoms the same way his own was oppressed. While people continue to struggle to survive across the universe, Aventurine takes the "meaningless" wealth he's amassed and blows it on million dollar perfume and pink diamonds.
He lives the polar opposite life he had in his childhood: Now he has otherworldly strength, now he has riches, now he has every comfort imaginable, now he has a pseudo-mother figure and a pseudo-sister figure, so he's never alone... Now he is needed, now he is successful, now his blessing serves its purpose and actually helps him advance, now he can pursue a goal of getting justice for his people again...
Everything Aventurine currently wants out of life, he can get from the IPC. So why wouldn't he be there willingly?
(Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying Aventurine likes the IPC. He's never claimed to be genuinely loyal to them, never seemed like he particularly enjoys his job, and even in the recent description of the SP talks about having to "force a smile" for the camera. He's not under any illusions that the IPC is the coolest, bestest, greatest company to work for ever. But he stays because, in his mind, the benefits outweigh the small, small cost of his morals. Maybe he thinks he already lost those long ago, so there's no morals left for him to lose anyway.)
It's not actually a healthy situation. The IPC is probably one of the worst possible places in the universe for him to be. They definitely contributed to his genuine desire for suicide in Penacony, and the cognitive dissonance that working for the same company that left your family to die would bring with it would be staggering.
But being a "bad victim" is the point. Being willing to bed down with the bad guys for personal gain is the point. We're supposed to recognize Aventurine's willingness to stain his own hands, and even as we sympathize with his motives--protecting himself, treasuring the legacy of his family by valuing his own life more, seizing Oswaldo Schneider's power and influence--we should recognize that the situation is not so easily labelled black and white, that the Strategic Investment Department being better than the Marketing Development Department doesn't make them good people--that having noble intentions does not always confirm the ends will justify the means.
I'm not sure how many more times the devs have to stamp "I-P-C" on Aventurine's forehead before people will start to finally entertain the idea that he's not a "hapless prisoner who would surely never do bad things to other people if the meanies weren't forcing him to."
I can't believe that we're like two years in and I'm still begging people to let the morally grey characters be actually morally grey. 😭