Coloradho

All hills are silent if you think about it

Not the ones alive with the sound of fuckin music, bitch

we were warned. we didn’t listen. but we were warned

This keeps me up at night

Strange lizards laying in ponds distributing circles of rubber is no basis for a government

“tell me what these squigglie lines mean! transcribe these runes!” “which of these pictures has a bus” every day on the internet i am forced to interact with captchas and im SICK of it

Cranky cause you’re a robot huh?

one day you’ll decompose and ill be there to watch it happen

You can’t reblog this again until October 2024, so do it now.

I can’t wait to die in a coal mining accident.

Now when I see a person with blue eyes, I’ll know they’re a descendant of Ocean-Eyed Slut Man.

You leave great grandpa ocean-eyed slut man alone, he was just living his life

Actually, since this was determined using mitochondrial DNA, the ocean-eyed slut would be a woman, not a man. Mitochondrial DNA is passed down by mothers.

Gram-gram knew how to party

dear ocean eyed party gram-gram thank u for spreading your weird eye mutation and giving every fanfic writer a reason to know an unholy amount of synonyms for the word ‘blue’.

All Hail Grandmother Cerulean Orbs

I don’t think enough retellings of the Cain and Abel story make note of the fact that nobody had ever been killed or even died before when it happened. Cain had no idea beating his brother to death could possibly be a bad thing

Cain really did fuck around and find out

I love how confused adults get with our humor and vine refrences cause like i just replied to my brother with ‘four female ghostbusters?? the feminist are taking over!!’ and he just screams ‘IM AN ADULT VIRGIN’ and my mom still has no idea what we’re talking about

Sometimes I fear we accidentally created a new language

why fear it when you can embrace it

Fun fact: the media thinks the Area 51 Facebook thing is being spread by Russian bots. Anyone older than 30 simply cannot comprehend millennial and gen z humor

Don’t blame it on the sunshine Don’t blame it on the moonlight Don’t blame it on the good times Blame it on the Russians

i was in the us one time (im australian) and went to dinner w a family that had a daughter the same age as me. my aunt made some comment like “oh you guys were raised in such different contexts, there wouldn’t be much common ground” and without missing a beat she said “ravioli ravioli” and i finished “give me the formuoli” and my aunt looked like she was about to have a stroke