de oppresso liber

I mean sure it’s got a lot of ice but I don’t think that’s the kind you want to put on your teeth. It might give you a headache.

Gangsters don’t feel pain.

I’ll go get my guitar. That is beyond debatable. 

I’ll take a video and put it on youtube. Heart eyes emoji @ TB12.

I’ll get you a trophy. I know. People are starting to call me boring, my rep is ruined.

Thank you, make it platinum. You are boring now, a real snooze fest.

Why do those commercials still exist?

I don’t know, there’s not many people in this world I hate more than Flo.

Are you saying I’m not a ten? 

You genetically can’t be, sorry.

The best on the east coast. Wait, Savannah Burton had a low key summer? What?

Yeah, if you were Carrie Underwood you would’ve stood a chance. Selena’s can get the fuck out, you know?

Carrie Underwood? Really? I’m not really a carrie or a Selena though, I’m kind of in the middle. Who am I?

She's a ten. Ummmmmmmm I'm not sure. I'm not good with pop culture.

Yes please, that would be nice. My Brady loving is my best quality though.

Are you only into blondes? 

Yeah, if you were Carrie Underwood you would’ve stood a chance. Selena’s can get the fuck out, you know?

Look at that. Progress.

I thought of Flo.

What is with you and saying no?!

I’ll say maybe.

You’re supposed to say something suggestive back, that’s what people usually do. 

Mm, I don’t see that happening, sorry.

Some groveling and about however long it takes to watch a chick flick with me.

What’s it with you wanting me to watch a chick flick?!