A house of cards, tethered to the ever-changing shift of the wind that no longer seemed to swell in the direction of the Kovaliâs upper hand left him with a knot thick in his chest. For those who were so strategically prepared for being blindsided, the shadows of this city they believed belonged to them had crept up and torn at their ankles so violently it toppled the long-standing precipice of calm into something far more violent. It was something that Zephyr had only ever felt a small handful of times, near minute in comparison to the overwhelming stretch of stoic expression that so often dawned on him in times it almost seemed out of place. An attack on the Kovali would always stand as an attack on him â as much as Rafal himself was the organization, Zephyr stood the backing that never seemed to fail, until more recently. It was something he didnât intend on letting slip through his fingers again.Â
Not now, that such an attack would rage war on the organ that before long had existed purely to keep him alive. One and the same that constricted so brutally he might have sworn the body hanging from the gallows had turned his insides to ash, jarring with such force against the inside of his ribcage that any blade or bullet might have been a welcome replacement. Heâd known what it was, known that it betrayed every pinnacle of his own pivotal rise to glory but there was far too much truth in the wreckage to ignore it. Love. The ashes had buried him once before, the damage inflicted so carelessly upon his heart once before left bitterness paramount, but this..â this felt cataclysmic. A life without someone so embedded into everything he did was, crippling even in thought. Thoughts of which heâd never allowed to situate themselves so consciously even despite the previous weeks of separation from her. Passing minutes had felt eternal as the imploding fury caught knuckles white as orders fell to secure Rafal fell without room for argument.Â
The lowering of the body had barely earned itself a breath of relief. Theyâd missed the mark, pieces of the woman hanged no doubt a perfect silhouette for Sera, but details heâd never miss and the closer he drew the easier breath filled his lungs until all that was left was the balling anger thatâd left the question: where was she? Anything beyond such thought was automatic. Preprogrammed into the very veins of the under-boss as he moved through the crowd pushing his men to flood the boat with a presence that came flanked by something far more unruly as officers drew rank that in the underworld, they never held in the first place.Â
Now, hovering the platform of the club, shielded behind bulletproof glass overlooking the floor below, holding the underbelly of the city didnât feel like enough. Not while his insides burned white-hot with the transgression painting a target on his back â across his chest in such a public display. He wanted blood, wanted to watch the city burn and collapse in on itself, to twist it until what was left snapped at the knees and recognized that certain targets came with a far higher price than any of them were so willing to pay. Chaos, was an entity, and neither state of being nor tirade could overthrow what people knew lived within the shadows. A chaos and cataclysmic being that existed through the shifting chess pieces that Zephyr himself controlled. And as if fate itself sealed the door of Purgatory shut, one such piece showed itself before the reckoning.Â
All too aware that perhaps Theo had yet to show face here knowing what Zephyr likely already knew, he simply watched from above as he helped himself to a drink. Good. Heâd need it. The permanence of white-knuckled fists dove the depths of his pockets for as long as it took for his equal to find the office door, pausing behind the stringent knock offered by cast covered limb. He didnât move, didnât shift from a sentient post beyond the glass window, stoic as he waited. The thing about fury was that it was often uncontrollable, a variable that Zephyr didnât work with; he refused to hold at his side for any amount of time purely for the unpredictability of it. It wasnât something he trusted, not something he could fall back into and safe-guard as he so often had those around him. âFuck us?â He deadpanned, the rising sense of questioning that slipped beyond statuesque existence offered the shift of boots against the ornate stone flooring until he came to rest behind his desk.Â
âFuck us.â Repetition only further solidifying disbelief as he stood to full height, neither intimidation necessary, for the man opposite, stood taller. Yet, azure hues burnt line of sight across the room as if heâd intended to cut Theo down to size purely to meet him eye for eye. âIâm gonnaâ ask you one question,â he started, heavy timbre a knifes edge as the weight of one such answer hung the precipice of how this night ended. âI know what happened on that boat,â The short nod he offered barely notable, âIâm just curious as to whether youâre aware of what happened,â Digits tightened and he felt the shifting of his knuckles from years of broken bones. Standing still felt unnatural, far too unlike a man that sought secrets and truth from the shadows. Ever moving, he never rested and that essence remained as he rounded the edge of his desk and perched the expanse of wood. âBecause last I checked, Iâve only ever asked one fuckinâ thing of you and somehowâŚâ The details of which surrounded only one aspect, yet perhaps heâd somehow believed that Theo might have anticipated the true extent of what heâd asked. Protect me like I protected you.â âSomehow that small little detail keeps slippinâ right through those fingers of yours.â Hands pulled from his pockets to clasp together across his lap, right hand shifting to gesture roughly to the cast he wielded.Â
Perhaps, it pressed the boundaries a little more than he could serve to deal with. Heâd only ever asked Theo to protect Catalina; shockingly enough, heâd managed at least that this time. Alike most, however, expectation bared itâs teeth with the knowledge that everyone knew the lengths Zephyr Jackson would go, to keep Sera safe and alive. Further still, what he was willing to do to anyone who put her at risk, markings of their own hands or failed intentions baring the same stretch of fault. âSo, my question is ââ He rose again, the tepid itch that stretched the length of his spine cold and unrelenting as he moved to close some of the distance that remained until calloused hands could find the glass within Theoâs and take it. âHow the fuck,â he spat, tightened fist shattering glass to rain shards and amber liquid to the floor below, âdid they get their hands on her so easily?â It was, regardless of intent, a direct attack on Zephyr Jackson himself â Rafal Kovali be damned, heâd raise their own organization to the ground and build it all over again if it meant ensuring that the pillar being in his life remained where he intended her to.Â
He listened intently, the words that came from Zephyr. His lawyer mind couldnât help but call a technicality at the fact that this was really a series of questions tied up into one. He was going to keep that thought to himself, his heart sank at the words. The other man was right, he had failed him. He had dropped the most important ball in the world, he had committed his life to protecting the assets that Raf demanded, but he had given his trust to Zephyr the night that Zephyr saved his life. Nothing mattered more to Theo then feeling safe, feeling in power, Zephyr had given those things to him.Â
The air in the room was exactly what Theo expected, what he deserved in reality. He was back to being that child on the streets, that rat that was stepped upon. For the first time in years, Theo felt weak. He sucked in a breath as Zephyr crossed to him. His voice wasnât coming, a rare moment for him, but he didnât blink either. It took a lot to get Theo to break when it came to his outside appearance, but internally he was broken. His mind screamed that she had been taken because he was a useless piece of shit, but those words would never come out of his mouth. No, he wasnât that stupid. He took in a slow breath, not revealing his emotion as he nodded, the glass breaking a power move.Â
He couldnât help but think that Zephyr probably shouldnât be doing that, his hand was most likely going to need bandaged at the very lowest level. He took another slow breath before finding his words, âI know what happened. Not immediately, but I learned.â He said in a low tone, eyes flashing to look up into Zephyrâs eyes now, meeting him as the man postured in front of him, âShe was taken because I am not you. Because when they came for her, I put myself between them and her, I was removed as an obstacle.â He said, not as an excuse, but he was being honest. A rare moment for him. His hands moved to his side, closing his fingers tightly at his sides.Â
âYou saved me, more than I can ever repay and I recognize that, but do you honestly think if I was capable of stopping them, that I would not have? Can you look at me, Zephyr and think that I wouldnât have done anything to save her. They broke me and they moved me, I failed. I wonât deny it, but I didnât come to the place I am at without having skills, those skills failed me when it came to protecting her. If I could trade places with her, I would and you fucking know it.â His words were not his usual charming flow, this was not him just working a room or making people fall under the spell of his words, this was just him being raw and honest. He was broken internally and he knew it.Â
He didnât step away or back down, lowering his vision for a moment, looking down at the ground, he thought through his next words as he steeled himself to the flow in his head, the world had come to a small point as if reaching the end of a needle as he collected himself mentally. He was doing his best not to fall back on his skills, to embrace this as a lawyer would, this wasnât the time to go to that place mentally. He could shut down everything and treat this like a legal case, he could talk his way out of this room and move on with his life. He knew Raf wouldnât wash him away, but he didnât want to do that, he wanted Zephyr to knew he understood the gravity and that he gave a fuck about what had happened that night.Â
Looking back up finally, he spoke softly, his low tone as he looked into those intense eyes in front of him, âI failed you. I failed her. I will hate myself more than you can because of it, I know who I am and I know my limitations. I stepped beyond those limitations the moment I saw them come for her and I failed to do more than get myself injured. I understand what I did and I didnât do, I came to you not out of fear or even guilt on all levels. I came to you because I know that I failed you, you deserve your retribution if you so desire it.âÂ