The Attic In My Mind

I try to see signs of happiness on my body, but I have no scars to show for it. Pain has it easy.

It looks you in the eyes and smiles. This body is lifeless. You don't notice. You smile back.

It feels like the ocean should be bluer, the grass should be greener and there should be less clouds in the sky, but all I see is gray.

I put all the love I had into you and the hate it caused stayed with me. Without you that's all there is. It seems almost logical, but I think it makes me sick.

Auf Dauer ist schwimmen auch nur ertrinken

They could gift me random things in my favourite colour and I'd be happy already, but I guess to most I'm just gray and not green.

And if humanity must end, I hope it comes back better.

In another universe they're living the dream, because they are not me.