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@coffeerick
Art by @rickleguy
I'm Rick C-043. Trying to replicate the Cafe Sanchez recipe after the Citadel went under. My *burp* Morty won't go on adventures with me because Jerry says he's being "overwhelmed" and "needs his sleep". Fucking asshole...
Tumblr is the last place I wanna be but I know a bunch of you are coffee fans. Send me your questions *burp* I guess...
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming
Reblog if itโs okay for people to inbox you questions, headcanon, theories, anything about your Blorbo
Send "You are under arrest for..." and the crime my muse was accused of
And see my muse's reaction while being handcuffed
send a ๐๐๐๐๐๐ for a starter using a line from the following media:
send ๐บ : for a line from a random television show
send ๐ : for a line from a random book
send ๐ฅ : for a line from a random film
send ๐ต : for a line from a random song
send ๐ฎ : for a line from a random video game
send ๐ฌ : for a random canon line of my muse (if applicable)
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ : send the above symbol +
โค๏ธ for a line from my favorite of said media.
๐ for a line from what i last watched/listened to/read/played.
( ex: ๐โค๏ธ for a line from my favorite book, ๐๐บ for a line from the last tv show i've seen)
Cellmate
โ @rickfuckerf215
Coffee Rick sighed as he pressed his head against the glass of the cell, not daring to look behind him as he found himself stuck with the one person he hated being around.
Y-Y-You didn't HAVE to get arrested with me, you know?!
He had gotten into a fight at Blips and Chitz and as luck would have it, Fujo also happened to be there.
Fujo sat on the bench with his hands sat in his lap. He tilted his head at Coffee Rick, chipping away at the black polish on his thumbs mindlessly.
I-I didn't want you to be lonely! Ehehe h-had nothing else to do either, we can spend some quality time together now hehe
Coffee Rick rolled his eyes.
Right, because when I think "quality time", I definitely think of prison.
He crouched as he began to travel his hands around the walls of the cell, searching for any kind of gap or weakness in its structure.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming
This is an order banning you from the establishment known as The Sleazy Rick. You're being too fucking weird, man. Get help.
N-NO!! GOD DAMN IT f-first the bathrooms on Citadel and-and now The Sleazy Rick!? This sucks...
Fujo sniffles as if he's about to cry, looking down at the ground incredibly upset.
I find it hard to believe that those are the ONLY *burp* places you're banned from...
Cellmate
โ @rickfuckerf215
Coffee Rick sighed as he pressed his head against the glass of the cell, not daring to look behind him as he found himself stuck with the one person he hated being around.
Y-Y-You didn't HAVE to get arrested with me, you know?!
He had gotten into a fight at Blips and Chitz and as luck would have it, Fujo also happened to be there.
Sendย โCellmateโ for a starter where our muses are prisoners sharing the same cell.
๐ซต
โ @rickfuckerf215
Uh, ouch?
He rubbed his shoulder from the poke.
The fuck was that for?
Fujo poked his cheek and giggled.
Hehehe Hiii Cocooo, I missed youu
Coffee Rick rolled his eyes as he grabbed Fujo's hand in an attempt to stop the poking.
You were gone? I thought things were getting *burp* too peaceful.
Fujo frowned and tilted his head, looking at Coffee Rick gripping his hand and giggling.
You're so mean :( I know you missed me. It's like we're holding hands...
Coffee Rick quickly let go and pulled his hand away from hearing the comment, even wiping it on his labcoat.
Are you just here to annoy me again? Wh-Wh-What do you want?
I-I just wanted to see what you're up toooo hehe no need to be so upset
Coffee Rick turned back to his workbench, tinkering with some kind of sci-fi gun.
Don't you have your stupid bugs for that? I'm kind of busy.
Fujo leaned over his shoulder and glanced over at what he was tinkering with, looking at Coffee Rick's annoyed face.
Busy with what hehe
Coffee Rick raised an incredulous brow.
Haven't you seen a *burp* gun before?
He didn't bother to clarify more as he adjusted the grip of the gun. He reached for a coffee cup that sat on the workbench without looking but accidentally tipped it over, spilling it on the counter.
Ugh- Damnit...
๐ซต
โ @rickfuckerf215
Uh, ouch?
He rubbed his shoulder from the poke.
The fuck was that for?
Fujo poked his cheek and giggled.
Hehehe Hiii Cocooo, I missed youu
Coffee Rick rolled his eyes as he grabbed Fujo's hand in an attempt to stop the poking.
You were gone? I thought things were getting *burp* too peaceful.
Fujo frowned and tilted his head, looking at Coffee Rick gripping his hand and giggling.
You're so mean :( I know you missed me. It's like we're holding hands...
Coffee Rick quickly let go and pulled his hand away from hearing the comment, even wiping it on his labcoat.
Are you just here to annoy me again? Wh-Wh-What do you want?
I-I just wanted to see what you're up toooo hehe no need to be so upset
Coffee Rick turned back to his workbench, tinkering with some kind of sci-fi gun.
Don't you have your stupid bugs for that? I'm kind of busy.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming
๐ซต
โ @rickfuckerf215
Uh, ouch?
He rubbed his shoulder from the poke.
The fuck was that for?
Fujo poked his cheek and giggled.
Hehehe Hiii Cocooo, I missed youu
Coffee Rick rolled his eyes as he grabbed Fujo's hand in an attempt to stop the poking.
You were gone? I thought things were getting *burp* too peaceful.
Fujo frowned and tilted his head, looking at Coffee Rick gripping his hand and giggling.
You're so mean :( I know you missed me. It's like we're holding hands...
Coffee Rick quickly let go and pulled his hand away from hearing the comment, even wiping it on his labcoat.
Are you just here to annoy me again? Wh-Wh-What do you want?
๐ซต
โ @rickfuckerf215
Uh, ouch?
He rubbed his shoulder from the poke.
The fuck was that for?
Fujo poked his cheek and giggled.
Hehehe Hiii Cocooo, I missed youu
Coffee Rick rolled his eyes as he grabbed Fujo's hand in an attempt to stop the poking.
You were gone? I thought things were getting *burp* too peaceful.
๐ซต
โ @rickfuckerf215
Uh, ouch?
He rubbed his shoulder from the poke.
The fuck was that for?
"Ehhehe, i-if I hosted a Rick kissing contest, who would join? Whoever pulls away first is the loser! Dry-humping is extra points eeheheh"
Technically I can't lose if I never joined so-
W-whhy won't you jjooiinnn :(((( Y-you get to kiss a Rick of your choiiicceee eheh
I don't kiss with an audience. I'm sure that there's plenty of other Ricks you can watch aside from me.
"Ehhehe, i-if I hosted a Rick kissing contest, who would join? Whoever pulls away first is the loser! Dry-humping is extra points eeheheh"
Technically I can't lose if I never joined so-
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming
Make my muse talk about one of their...
โจ Deep interests โฝ Hobbies ๐ง Expertise ๐ Achievements ๐ Failures โ๏ธ Hopes / wishes ๐ฅ Fears / worries ๐ฅ Regrets ๐ Relationships / lovers ๐ Friends / family members โ๏ธ Enemies / rivals ๐ Role models / mentors โ๏ธ Merits โ Flaws โ Defining life events
๐
- @coffeerick
๐
HR lie there on his back, head lolled to the side, drool dripping all over him and the soggy makeshift bed. There's a certain peace to it, no dirty jokes, no leering stares, just even breaths and the occasional quiet snore. He's got grease and dirt stains littering his clothes, and he smells like he just jumped in a vat of vodka, but Interesting enough, his pheromones seem to calm down while he's unconscious.
Coffee Rick stared at the Rick as he lied on the pile of cardboard. Usually Coffee Rick wouldn't care about someone else's sleeping conditions, but he knew Blips and Chitz like the back of his hand. No Ricks in particular slept around here, it almost felt like this one was intruding on his turf even if he was just sleeping. He begrudgingly nudged the Rick with his foot in an attempt to wake him.
Hey, you, guy. Wh-Wh-What are you doing here?
HR blinked away the fog in his eyes as he stirred awake, immediately smelling a strong scent of coffee. He took a deep breath of it, the smell pairing well with his drunken headache.
He mumbled a delirious sentence at the Rick, none of it comprehensible, HR lazily blinking up at the guy as if he was expecting him to understand his words.
HR's appearance really set Coffee Rick off. Although he was certainly annoying him, his disgust was an even bigger motivator for him. Coffee Rick gave HR a more aggressive push with his foot, refusing to touch him.
Hey, dumbass! Snap out of it and wake up! I can barely hear you!
HR groaned and rolled over, pushing himself to his hands and knees, then sitting up, rubbing his eyes.
"Mmmph.. where am I... u smell gud."
He spoke clear enough to be understood this time, his words still slurred and slow.
Coffee Rick rolled his eyes as he watched the Rick stand, carefully backing up as to avoid being touched.
You're sleeping in garbage. You smell like *burp* shit.
"Hehahh th- tha's why they cal me g- garbage sleepin Rick! Heh jus kiddin... *Hic*"
He really didn't care what he smelled like, he's smelled like LITERAL shit before and that was the least of his concerns. He swayed where he stood, his eyes still struggling to focus on the coffee stained Rick in front of him.
"hrmngh.. h- have we met?"
If we have, you clearly weren't worth remembering.
Coffee Rick firmly held his cup in one hand while covering his nose with the other.
What the hell are you even doing here? Got too high and figured that garbage was where you belonged?
"Okay so- definily not an orgy buddy.. got it.."
He mumbles to himself, noting that he definitely would have made an impression on him if they'd met before.
"Grgh.. sumthing like that..."
As if he couldn't get any more pathetic, he reached in his lab coat and pulled out his flask, taking a few big gulps of the liquor, nearly falling over when he tipped his head back before catching himself on the dumpster.
"*hhhrrp-* any- any good party spots aroun' here?"
Coffee Rick crossed his arms as he watched HR's pathetic display.
Not around here, this area doesn't need more than one party animal.
"Hrmph- *hic* lameee, c'monnn let's go have sum fun.. s- in the arcade c- coffee boy!"
HR waves his flask around like an idiot, stumbling towards Coffee Rick.
Coffee Rick hastily stepped back as HR approached as if he was infected.
Uh, no. The only place you're going is to the bathroom, away from me, so you can *burp* wash off.
