I canโt tell you how many letters of love Iโve written in my life but this one will be one of the most important ones I will ever write, I think. Logically, I know that I am sitting here, in my room at 4am in the damn morning, in my favourite worn out sweater, at 22, but why does it feel like Iโm 11 years old; sitting in my too-big shoes, with my too-big heart, hearing your music for the first time all over again? It feels like Iโm still 13, scrawling songs of my own in my journals, desperately waiting to be done with school so I could put in earphones and listen to your music on the way home and lose myself to daydreams for a little while. It feels like Iโm 15 again, writing your lyrics on my bedroom wall; young and naรฏve and desperately hopeful, feeling like youโd taken words right out of my mouth. It feels like Iโm 17 (the dancing queen), with dreams so big I could barely describe them, with my heart in my hands and your voice in my ears as I sat in cars speeding down empty highways, looking out into dark cities wondering if Iโd ever write something that made me feel even half as alive as your songs did.ย ย
Iโm 22 now and earlier this year I put out my first EP. Itโs an incredibly tiny step, but I canโt tell you how much it meant to me to be able to get some of the songs I had written down on lonely nights out there, into the world; songs I had written alone in my room with an audience of one (my cat), spilling out onto pages because writing was the only constant I had ever had. ย
So, I felt like it was only right to pen this down, to say thank you to someone who provided my life with a soundtrack, on days when I needed it most. I built a home out of your words for years before I found sanctuary and liberation in my own and I cannot articulate what that meant to me, growing up. You gave me steady ground in a turbulent world and all I can offer you is a vat of gratitude and a friend for life and I hope that will suffice. ย
So, here it is: my message in a bottle. Iโm heaving this out to Tumblrโs sea, and I hope it finds you someday. Either way, I just had to put this out there: to let you know that I know narratives change, hearts heal, people grow and that the world will keep on turning despite it all, but I will root for you for as long as I live and ย that will never change. I canโt wait for everything to come- Lover is going to provide all my daydreams with the most wonderful sonic dreamscape, I just know it. ย
I donโt know if Iโll ever live up to my own unrealistic expectations for the life I want to build for myself based on years of chronic daydreaming and blinding love for what I do, but what I do know is this: to be a lover is to be a fighter, and I have never wanted to fight for something harder. To swear by love in a world so intent on selling you disillusionment all wrapped up with a bow on top is to swear to fight till the end to protect something worthwhile. ย
I canโt wait for your new record and for the era it will birth. I hope you like mine; it would mean the absolute world to me if you heard it: Iโm going to leave links at the end. I think I would need 3-7 business days off just to cry if you actually do ever end up hearing anything I write. ย
Anyway, I got your back always, T, I mean it. ย
Love, luck and anti-venom,
Apple Music:ย https://music.apple.com/us/artist/gaia-meera/1449951944
Spotify:ย https://open.spotify.com/artist/1UELyRsYJIZC0QrOayNKxw
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