sf blog

fit with a stilted, interrupting, frequent cadence that seems like it’s being leaned into to annoy who the person is in non-optional company with, until a while of back and forth reveals how they’re just helplessly along for the ride here

you're standing in line at the contagion clinic between a few other healthy people. in a separate line is a sick person who definitely needs more than a couple of tissues. Nose red, streaming, poor person all shivery, shoulders tense and always rubbing at their nose. While you're waiting in line to check in, the sick person gets to the front of their line. A nurse is doing intake behind a plexie glass wall. The poor sickie is answering her questions between hitches, doing their best to what seems like stave off a sneeze that's begging to come out. Eventually their body decides enough is enough and they gasp dramatically and lurch forwards with a harsh wet snz. You watch as mess and spray splatters and drips down on the class at the nurse's face height. More mess is dripping from the sickie's red twitchy nose as they finish with an "ugh excuse bme" and their shoulders slump hard and their face finally slack with relief

A Victorian man writing at his table feeling a tickle in nose nose that won’t go away, so he just used the feather pen he’s writing with to tickle it

people who sneeze in fits: how does it feel to be insanely hot

Obsessed with the idea that stifling, which is meant to retract attention, can bring more of it. Like, aww, pooor baby, what’s the matter? You can’t stop sneezing now? Your eyes are watery? You have to gasp for air in between fits? They keep getting louder and louder and louder? It’s too itchy to stop once you’ve started? I thought you were trying to keep them secret, not let everyone know.

I love the idea of someone spending all day holding back sneezes and when they get home they're finally going to let them out and instead they're tortured with stuck sneezes and false starts

A series of quick, breathy sneezes that barely scratch the surface of the itch, punctuated by a huge, drawn-out sneeze that sounds (and feels) so satisfying.

Now I'm thinking about mr hơưsɛ desperately stifling his allergy sneezes

He'd start off stifling almost completely silently against his fingers, maintaining control and composure at first. However, the persistent tickle would force him to eventually pinch his nose in a desperate attempt to keep from letting out a sneeze. Eventually he'd be left with no choice but to let out a handful of big, muffled, sloppy sneezes into a handkerchief.

"be a good boy and show me how pretty you are when you sneeze."

there is something so fantastically sexy about the phrase "I might need to sneeze." like, the acknowledgement of a possibility, the uncertainty of the outcome, and the complete lack of control over their nose's ticklish fate. it's especially delicious when the answer is so obviously yes, they do in fact need to sneeze. when the inevitable itch is written all over their face, etched into their forehead, creased between their eyebrows, crinkled at the corners of their eyes and twitching at the tip of their nose. said through fluttering breaths as their head begins to tip back: "I might- I might neeeh... I might need to sneeze!" poor thing, so out of touch that they truly have no idea what disaster is headed their way...

may your weird niche fetish have seven billion new content that appeals to you