Have U Ever Let Rat In Yr Hair Like Tatatoullie

probably speaks to something unwell in the collective tumblr psyche that those absurdly bleak bad luck brian memes are the only survivors of, like, an entire genre of different advice animal image macros.

AAA video game publisher voice: "Look. The goose layed a golden egg, and that's nice! Everyone loved that egg. But keeping the golden goose means paying for bird feed and I don't want to, so I killed the goose."

one day i will crack my back in a way that will solve all my life problems

he stole 1 penny from her hot dog cart and she chased him across the world and her hot dog cart sat there and nobody touched it out of respect

the hot dog stand was there for 100 years and nobody touched it out of respect and the rain didnt rain on it and the wind didnt blow it and time didnt decay it and 100 years later when she got her penny back the hot dog stand started coughing and the neighborhoods kids said whats wrong and it started coughing and said i dont have much time left and they said no and the hot dogs started smelling bad and the kids cried and the kids started smelling bad and the candles started smelling gioood