#1 Kristen fan

Nat regretted everything.

Maybe not everything, truly, but almost.

She regretted waking up, and even more than that, she regretted getting out of bed.

She could’ve rolled over and gone back to sleep.

But no, she’d gotten up and put on real clothes (as real as bleach-stained jeans and a ratty t-shirt could be considered) and forced herself along the sidewalk to school.

There wasn’t anything wrong, per se, some days just felt heavier than others. Like someone had taken their hand and patted her on the back too hard, knocking the wind out of her and making her bones shift on their sockets.

It just wasn’t Natalie’s day.

And Lottie knew that.

Of course she did. She always did.

You can’t spend hours mapping every expression on a person’s face and not realize when something shifts behind their eyes.

So when Lottie’s gaze fell on Natalie across the English classroom during their only period together, she knew something was wrong.

She didn’t address it. That wasn’t what Natalie needed. Natalie’s problems were best solved on her own, and Lottie had learned that (through trial and error, sure, but the lesson had been learned nonetheless.)

Soccer practice came after school, and the closer to 3:30 it got, the more sure Lottie was that Natalie wouldn’t be there.

It just wasn’t her day. She’d be back tomorrow, acting like nothing was wrong and apologizing to the coaches in private, citing her mother having a fit or practice slipping her mind and promising not to skip again.

But Lottie knew the kind of habits Natalie picked up on these types of days, when everything was a little too dark and a little too heavy.

She propped herself up on a bottle or a line and let it take the weight, just for a little while.

It was this idea, the notion of relapse, that had Lottie faking a stomach bug (with theatrical false vomiting) to get out of practice early enough to take Nat’s usual path through the trailer park.

She knocked on her girlfriend’s window, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her hoodie and waiting.

“What the fuck, Lottie?” Natalie said, pushing the window open a crack.

“Well, hello to you too.” Lottie said dryly. “Let me in.”

“Lottie-“ Natalie protested, but Lottie had already pried the window open further and hoisted herself through it, tumbling unceremoniously onto Nat’s bed.

“You’d think you’d be better at that by now,” Nat said, pulling the window closed. “What are you doing here? Practice doesn’t end for like, an hour.”

“Exactly,” Lottie said, shrugging off her backpack and dropping it onto the floor. “Are you okay?”

Nat sighed. “Jesus christ, Lottie, we saw each other for like five minutes, how did you even-“

“Exactly,” Lottie said, more emphasis on the word. “You always come find me during lunch, and you didn’t, and you always sneak over to my desk during English, and you didn’t, and you skipped soccer so we didn’t see each other then either.”

Nat flopped backwards onto her bed, rolling onto her side with a groan. “I’m just tired.”

“You’re also having a day.” Lottie said, crawling across the bed to lay down next to Nat. She pillowed her head on her elbow, nose inches from Nat’s. “Two things can be true.”

There was a pause. Lottie didn’t push, Nat didn’t pull, they just hung there, Lottie’s hand resting between them like a peace offering.

“You don’t have to tell me about it.” Lottie said. The words were quiet, and Lottie felt her own breath bounce back at her.

Nat didn’t say anything. She never did, not on days like this.

She just scooted herself forwards. It was tentative in the way Nat always was in moment like this, as she let her arms unwind from around herself to ball themselves up in the front of Lottie’s sweatshirt.

They shuffled around, minuscule movements to wind themselves further around each other. Lottie’s arm curled around Nat’s waist, tugging her closer as black and blonde hair alike spilled across the pillows.

And the deep sigh that rattled out of Natalie’s chest, only to be swallowed up by Lottie’s hoodie, was all the conversation either of them really needed.

It just wasn’t Nat’s day.

But Natalie had Lottie, and that was good enough.

I do not own Yellowjackets or its characters