Feeling pretty good about this considering chronic illness/mental blocks are hard to work out with. Proud of all of us today <3
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Feeling pretty good about this considering chronic illness/mental blocks are hard to work out with. Proud of all of us today <3

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Today is a new day, and I'll do better starting today. It's time to lock in. I can't go to Thanksgiving looking like this after being 25 lbs under last year. This isn't just for my image, but my health. I will do this for myself, I promise.
All of you lovelies can do this too. Reach your goals and feel good in your skin. Be healthy and happy.
Sw 203
Cw 199.5
I just had a binge for the first time in awhile, and I feel alone. This is so hard. I just want to love myself and be healthy. Why is that so hard?
I'm having a hard time not giving into cravings. I want restaurant food and desserts so bad š
reminder that you're still valid even if you only do low restriction, or don't workout, or eat stuff that's not salads, or eat three meals a day. you don't need to fit the typical 'skinny white girl who works out three hours of the day and lives off of diet coke, cigarettes and the ocassional salad'

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I keep going over my cal count for the day because I just want everything. Telling myself No is so hard. Idk how to develop the discipline that everyone else has. This use to be so much easier as a full time athlete, but now working a desk job and having chronic conditions that make it hard to exercise has made everything so much more difficult.
stay vigilant. there are still people out there who will try to convince you that eating fruit is somehow bad for your body
Did the treadmill and upper body weights for the first time today in a long time. I'm tired but feel good.
Anyone have tips for losing the double chin? It's so stubborn, and I can't get any cute pictures of myself without focusing on it
āThey donāt have an eating disorder, they ate a whole pizza when we went out-and chased it down with icecream.ā
That couldāve been there one meal a day.
They couldāve broken a multiple day fast.
You could be witnessing a b!nge.
These could be their few safe foods.
They may very well be prepared to purge it later.
How much of it did they eat? They couldāve taken a few bites only..or chewed/spit.
āHow could they have an eating disorder? They are midsized/plus sizedā
Are you with them 24/7? Do you know how they eat when theyāre alone, prospective restriction, etc?
If they are restrictive, not all 4n0r3xics start off 40 lbs at 5ā10. It takes time to get from atypical to the standard diagnosis criteria. If theyāre at a high SW they wonāt drop 50 pounds overnight.
Ana isnāt the only ED. They could be struggling with OSFED, orthorexia, bul1m1a, BED, ARFID, etc.
They could be in <forced> recovery-or have undergone it and now experiencing relapse.
They may be under surveillance in their living situation that doesnāt allow extreme restriction.
They may be an athlete-even if they are fit, the thoughts persists. They may eat just enough to perform without it being sufficient.
āBut theyāre older/male/NB/etc.ā
Do I even have to explain this?
EDS donāt discriminate-itās not just a white teenage girl thing. Anyone can develop one
āThere is no one way to be fucked up about foodā-Insatiable
You are still valid even if your clothes have been fitting a little too well lately.
Even if you tried to recover at some point.
Even if you canāt actively restrict/exercise due to your custody situation.
Even if you donāt fit the stereotype.
Itās a fucking MENTAL illness not physical
Based off a real conversation I had with someone. Rant over.

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I let myself have two small cinnamon rolls for lunch today, and when I got back to work a coworker brought me ice cream and gave me her leftover fries. I couldn't say no š it's so hard when I love sweets so much. I'm still under my limit for the day, but it's early and I know I'm going to have a hard time later on. I'm glad I've got water and rice cakes.
Update: I binged, but tomorrow is a new day and it'll be better
i donāt care if it hurts.
i wanna have control.
Trying to get back into my habits, and I need all the tips and tricks I can get. I have a horrible sugar addiction, and I can never kick the cravings. I try to portion but I get hungry and can't help but eat more. I don't have any self control and idk how to get more. I'm poor so sometimes we don't have food in the house which makes it easier to not eat, but then I'm always thinking about all the food I want. Sugary coffees are my other Achilles heel.
Current: 203 lbs
Goal: 155 lbs
BMI: 38.4
I don't exercise much because of my chronic illnesses, but I'm going to try to go to the gym three times a week.
I don't know if things will ever get better
This isn't a poem; it's a cry for understanding.
Do you ever get the feeling that you're mean for something more than this? Grinding away day to day. You work to live, and you live to work.
Moving like a machine. Lifting, packaging, stacking boxes and pallets of shit. Sitting at a desk and staring at the computer screen until all of the words blend together. Killing ourselves through over work or sedentary life styles. Wake up, work, eat, sleep. Repeat forever.
Aren't we meant for something more? I can't be alone in feeling like this.
I want to travel to every country and every state. Every national park and stupid roadside attraction. I want to visit every monument and learn it's history. I want to go back to the gym and lift weights until I feel like a god. I want to run a marathon and climb a mountain. I want to sing and dance in the rain. I want to make art and make mistakes. I want to read every book in the library. I want to eat every sweet and pastry I can find. I want to open a cat cafe.
I want to do more than just survive. I want to thrive.
Please tell me I'm not the only one itching to escape this capitalistic hellscape. This is not how we are supposed to live our lives.

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If I Die Soon
Do not lay me down to sleep
In that sad, wretched box.
Let me rest among the moss and bugs.
Nestle my heart in the crook of the old willow tree,
And let the fish use my lungs as pillows.
Place my ears where I can rest the rustling tree's tune.
Drape my flesh among her branches to feel the sun's lingering hue.
Dip my toes into the refreshing water and wash the sins from my soles,
And let my eyes roll upward so I can see her truly.
I might have passed
But let me live on in her arms.
You filthy money whore
Slicing into my supple skin with rusty nails
Letting my blood unto your palm
And sipping in remission
Bleeding me fucking dry