NECESSARY EVIL.

                               THIS IS AN ORDER. SAY YOU’LL MAKE A CONTRACT.

“You do it naturally.”

“I will be there, love.”

“You are unbreaking.”

“Be still my foolish heart.”

“Oh, your love is sunlight.”

“Be as you’ve always been.”

“Oh, but you’re good to me.”

“Imagine being loved by me…”

“But who could call you wrong?”

“I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“I’m in love… I’m in love with you.”

“But, your secret is safe with me.”

“Where I’ll wake up, I don’t know.”

“It’s not the waking, it’s the rising.”

“And when you move, I’m moved.”

“How long you would wait for me?”

“I’m almost me again, she’s almost you.”

“Let’s get lost and let the good times roll.”

“I could never define all that you are to me.”

“There’s no plan. There’s no race to be run.”

“I think about you, though, everywhere I go.”

“All of that goodness is going with you, now.”

“That’s how I know now that you understand.”

“That’s the kinda love I’ve been dreaming of.”

“The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.”

“I’d be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint.”

“Honey, the look of it was as sweet as the sound.”

“Power has been cried by those stronger than me.”

“Who could ask you be unbroken or be brave again?“

“I want you to know that I’ve had no love like your love.”

“'Cause power is my love when my love reaches to me.”

“Whatever here, that’s left of me, is yours just as it was.”

“Honey, I’m put in awe of something so flawed and free.”

“I wouldn’t fall for someone I thought couldn’t misbehave.”

“I’ve done everything and I’ve been everywhere, you know.”

“And who could ask you to be sound or to feel saved again?”

“We could have less to worry about, honey, I won’t lie to you.”

“I won’t deny I’ve got in my mind, now, all the things we could do.”

“Let there be damage ensued, and tabloid news, and that kind of love.”

“I couldn’t utter my love when it counted… ah, but I’m singing like a bird ‘bout it, now.”

Be thankful and squeeze away!

‘Tis a breast pad. A wondrous item that makes chests bigger.

Aren’t you lucky, getting to touch something so nice?

I look forward to working with you, buddy!

I finally got ahold of this dream I’d been chasing for the longest time. But once I actually had my hands on it… It was way less life changing than I expected.

When I go after different dreams in the future and get my hands on them… Am I gonna realize I was actually happier during the chase then too?

I think naughty things feel better the more you know your partner.

Have you ever had your finger bitten?

I’ll grant you any one wish.

Well, if I try reeally super hard… it should be a piece of cake!

Didn’t I tell you to speak respectfully?

Who would suck up to you if it don’t get 'em anything?

Humans are arrogant fools!!

You two don’t get human rights!

Man, nothing’s more entertaining than teasing boys!

Don’t you die, [name].

You’re my sixth buddy. The others are all dead. They all died because they were useless nobodies. Don’t you die, [name].

Are you sure you should go blabbing about your powers in front of me?

What if I said I’d kill this one? What would you do?

If you misbehave, I can strangle you to death anytime.

I wanted to go to college too!! But I’m gonna die here!!

❛ You can’t keep making excuses for every one of [name]’s insane whims. ❜

❛ Genius always looks like insanity at first, though, right? ❜

❛ Hey, please stop fire-spinning inside. ❜

❛ I say it like I see it, no filter. If people can’t handle it, that’s their problem. ❜

❛ You’ve got to stay off the Twitter. ❜

❛ Are you mocking me? ❜

❛ This can’t Shazam. It’s a lamp. ❜

❛ Where’s my speargun? I gotta pack. ❜

❛ He told me you haven’t left the bath for a week. ❜

❛ My mind is a fueled-up racing car, and I got nowhere to drive it. ❜

❛ I need danger, a hunt, a challenge. ❜

❛ There’s someone here for you! With a box! ❜

❛ Hello, stranger danger. ❜

❛ Excuse me, I love your accent. I had to try it. ❜

❛ You must be very special. ❜

❛ When you throw a murder mystery party, you do it right, buddy. ❜

❛ I’m not here. ❜

❛ He’s just staying here. He’s going through things. ❜

❛ This rich-people shit is weird. ❜

❛ This is stretching my stride-taking abilities. ❜

❛ Okay, let’s stop talking and actually start hanging out and having fun. ❜

❛ Why is it on the roof? ❜

❛ I wanted to ask, what are you doing here? ❜

❛ Is this part of the game? ❜

❛ I’ve learned through bitter experience that an anonymous invitation is not to be trifled with. ❜

❛ You really try. I like that. You really make an effort. ❜

❛ You never know when shit’s gonna go down. ❜

❛ I’m uncomfortable. I’m gonna go for a swim. ❜

❛ It’s true. I say it like I see it. ❜

❛ If you want to shake things up, you start with something small. ❜

❛ That’s the place where you have to look within yourself and ask, “Am I the kind of person who will keep going?” ❜

❛ That was some real red-pill stuff. ❜

❛ Every single one of you is holding on for dear life to [name]’s golden titties. ❜

❛ Wow. That was so real. ❜

❛ I’m a truth-teller. Some people can’t handle it. ❜

❛ It’s a dangerous thing to mistake speaking without thought for speaking the truth. Don’t you think? ❜

❛ Are you calling me dangerous? ❜

❛ A few cocktails before I’m murdered. ❜

❛ Halle Berry! That has a kick. ❜

❛ This simple thing that you thought you were looking at, it suddenly takes on layers and depth so complex, it gives you vertigo. ❜

❛ Every time we’ve gotten to the point where I’m going to strangle you, you pull something like this, and it’s magic. ❜

❛ I wanna be responsible for something that gets mentioned in the same breath as the Mona Lisa. ❜

❛ This is reckless. And you’re gonna get somebody killed. ❜

❛ It’s been a memorable weekend already, to be sure, but now the real fun starts. ❜

❛ Tonight, in this very room, a murder will be committed. ❜

❛ Well, to be clear, I mean, I didn’t know what a “blood diamond” was so… ❜

❛ What am I supposed to do now? Play Yahtzee all weekend? ❜

❛ I like the Glass Onion as a metaphor. An object that seems densely layered, but in reality the center is in plain sight. ❜

❛ It’s like putting a loaded gun on the table and turning off the lights! ❜

❛ Well, I’m out of here. Tomorrow morning. Gone. ❜

❛ You’re murdering my vibe. ❜

❛ So you come here, in your Gucci flats, telling us that we owe you? ❜

❛ What do you want? A check? You want performative pity? ❜

❛ I want the truth! ❜

❛ But me, I’m tired of pretending like you’re the victim in this game. ❜

❛ That changes things, right? ❜

❛ Have we ever not pulled through? Pulled it off? ❜

❛ We won’t know the cause of death without an autopsy. ❜

❛ Listen, I must insist that nobody touch the body or disturb anything around it. ❜

Are you treating this as a crime scene then? ❜

❛ I’ll pay you one billion dollars to tell me which one of them tried to kill me. ❜

❛ Oh, fiddlesticks. ❜

❛ Is that a speargun? ❜

❛ Oh, hell’s bells! Just, everybody, just stay here! ❜

❛ I can peel back the layers, I can take it to a point, but what lies at the center, only one person can tell us who killed [name]. ❜

❛ You’re not in the bath again, are you? ❜

❛ Heavens, the dog ate the caviar again. ❜

❛ It’s a stupid idea, right? ❜

❛ Listen, I want to be clear, huh? I am not Batman. ❜

❛ Any feelings of reverence or respect that you had for me when you crossed my threshold, buttress those feelings now. ❜

❛ Yeah, I’m trying real hard to buttress, but this sounds nuts. ❜

❛ Is this safe? ❜

❛ I shouldn’t be here. This is nuts. But I’m here. So let’s do this. ❜

❛ The reality-distortion field ends here. I can’t let you do this. ❜

❛ Look me in the eye! You know it’s a lie! ❜

❛ You must be really great at Clue, huh? ❜

❛ I’m very bad at dumb things. My Achilles’ heel. ❜

❛ This is your last chance to back out. ❜

❛ I think it’s really shitty what they all did to you. ❜

❛ I sold my soul for this. ❜

❛ I thought you said you didn’t drink? ❜

❛ That’s hard kombucha. That’s Jared Leto’s hard kombucha. ❜

❛ We’re running out of time! ❜

❛ Please. Think of the danger here. You gotta step back and let me handle this. ❜

❛ I never email anything that I wouldn’t want to see on the front page of The Times. ❜

❛ I think maybe you should take up drinking. You’re just killing it. ❜

❛ Something is just teasing the edge of my brain. ❜

❛ Oh, if I ever meet Jared Leto, I’m gonna whoop his kombucha-brewing ass. ❜

❛ My therapist says this is a toxic relationship. ❜

❛ We will do what we always do. Deny, half-apologize, and then go silent awhile. ❜

❛ Please tell me you did not think sweatshops are where they make sweatpants. ❜

❛ I will do whatever I have to do to save myself, and he is my only lifeline. ❜

❛ This never happens in Clue. ❜

❛ He’s a son of a bitch. Leave his ass. ❜

❛ I don’t feel sorry for him. He deserved what he got, and you are better off without him. ❜

❛ Please don’t kill me! Oh my God, please don’t kill me! ❜

❛ I’m not trying to kill you, you crazy bitch! ❜

❛ Shitballs! ❜

❛ It hides not behind complexity, but behind mind-numbing obvious clarity. ❜

❛ A veritable minefield of malapropisms and factual errors. ❜

❛ Oh, please. Just tell us who tried to kill me. ❜

❛ Nobody tried to kill you, you vainglorious buffoon. ❜

❛ What is reality?! ❜

❛ Does he keep a vial of poison in his tooth or something? Is that a rich person thing? ❜

❛ Oh, it’s so dumb, it’s brilliant. ❜

❛ No! It’s just dumb! ❜

❛ You dim-witted, brainless jackass! ❜

❛ Your one murder, with any panache at all, and you stole the whole idea from me. ❜

❛ Wow! We got some big accusations flying around here. ❜

❛ You need evidence, and you’ve got nothing. ❜

❛ Anywhere you go, it’s going to be your word against mine. How do you think that’s gonna go? ❜

❛ There’s nothing I can do. Except maybe offer you some courage. ❜

❛ I hope your little bitch tantrum gave you closure ’cause it accomplished nothing! ❜

❛ You’re ruined. ❜

“Okay already, [name]. I know! Let’s kill something!”

“Our meal for the day is a single slice of bread.”

“What’s nice about [name] is they always do as they’re told.”

“Remember if you run away, you’ll be pig slop!”

“Well, ‘normal’ is just a pipe dream for us, anyway.”

“If dreams do come true, I wanna hug a girl before I die…”

“If you’re gonna kill me, get it over with! I’m gonna die anyway!”

“I’ll save you… so you save me. I don’t wanna die either…”

“Wish they’d at least let me dream…”

“You’re obedient like a dog… And you work for cheap treats like one too.”

“Just dreaming of a normal life was enough for me. Do I not even get to have that much?”

“I want you to live a normal life… and die a normal death.”

“I’ve always… loved listening to you talk about your dreams.”

“I’ll give you my heart. In exchange… Show me your dreams.”

“I shoulda been happy as long as I had [name] but I still dreamed of a better life.”

"Everybody dreams. You can’t help it.”

“If you’re gonna get in our way… then die!”

“Looks like someone beat us to the punch.”

“If you’re my pet, I’ll give you food.”

“Pick anything you want. I’ll pay.”

“Did you forget? You’re my pet. Only answer with 'yes’ or 'woof’.”

“I don’t need a dog who says 'no.’”

“What a relief. I won’t feel bad… for killing a lowlife like you.”

“What a good boy. You really are like a dog.”

“As we work together, won’t we end up becoming, you know…? And if we’re in that kinda relationship, couldn’t we do that kinda stuff too…? I wanna do it!! I wanna do that stuff so bad!!”

“If you show up tomorrow, I’ll give you another thrashing.”

"The only ones still alive are those who have strong conviction.”

"When I! Fight! Guys! I! Only! Aim for! The crotch!”

"I’m willing to die to keep living like this.”

“How do you like that?! Badass, right?!”

“Everyone is serious about this but you.”

“If there are [blank] I could be friends, then yeah, I do. Cuz I don’t have any friends…”

“All right! Sexiness confirmed!”

“I have a full life now… but it does kinda feel like something’s missing. Was there something else? My real, true goal…?”

“I wanna touch some boobs…”

“Hurry up and let me kill something! I thirst for blood!”

“I can forgive some craziness as long as she’s pretty.”

“Fight time! Fight time! Battle time!”

“I did it! The glory is mine!”

“You’re gonna get arrested for the crime of lying and defamery or whatever!!”

“Quit talkin’ all weird to sound cooler than you are!! It’s so creepy!!”

“I can only get along with cats.”

“Your job is to train dogs and use them. Be sure not to get attached.”

“I can’t believe you took my story for truth. Humans really are foolish.”

“I’ve always killed anything that met my gaze… It feels strange to hear a voice that isn’t screaming…”

“Gimme back my boobs!”

“I recently discovered for the first time that blood is nice… and warm…”

“You have a cute face. It’d be cruel to kill such a cutie. You may go.”

“I’m not gonna die before I cop a feel!”

“You guys all got big important dreams? Lucky you!!”

“Let’s have a dream battle then! Yeah, a dream battle!!”

“I don’t know but you’re sympathizing with them again…”

“When I tell you to do something, you do it.”

“You’re a dumb brat with no morals.”