you better give it to me

I want to make a big emphasis on CUT because that will mean ALL cut content in Half-Life’s game series are suddenly relevant, if not, just as sentient as our regular AIs. At least the ones that already have a semi-working map, plot and characters. For HL2 specifically, this includes Beta HL2 and Return to Ravenholm. It is possible that if the deleted content is sentient, then so is the Gearbox’s spinoff games (Opposing Force, Blue Shift, and Decay). It also supports my ongoing theory that the entire Source Engine, including GMOD and other Valve’s games, is infected with the sentiency/supernatural powers from the Obsidian Seal, which is how we got BBVRAI. However, the difference between Lost Coast and the other cut content is that after a while, Valve let it become available as a free download as part of your purchase of HL2 in 2005 (then for the 20th Anniversary, it was merged with the actual game as Extras, although still not part of the vanilla game). If you have GMOD and HL2 downloaded, Lost Coast is automatically included as part of the maps you can visit. Meanwhile, the other cut contents were much harder to obtain because most were revealed through leaks. So much of Half Life’s cancelled projects, prototypes, etc are still unknown to the public. For that reason, we don’t exactly know if the content will get a mention in HLVRAI, solely from that difference. We just have to wait and see.

But, this is not the first time cut content is mentioned. We hear more of this through the Commentary Node in HLAGE [Final Act, Part 1, 17:48]:

I want to briefly explain what these lines are referring to for those unfamiliar with the lore and the possibility it will be important soon. You can skip forward if you like! The headcrab zombie gorilla is an actual idea Valve had thought about before. In fact, Alyx in-game questions Russel, “Do you think a Headcrab could turn a gorilla into a zombie?” Within the HLX/HL3 leaks (which are mentioned in the YouTube description for HL2VRAI as a “main inspiration” for Gordon to come back — I still do not believe that LOL.), there is a mention of a Xen Gorilla entity. In Return to Ravenholm, one of the enemy types that can appear are Zombie Monkeys, created by Grigori who injected them with Headcrab blood. Return to Ravenholm is an interesting cut project. The plot starts with Adrian Shepard waking up 20 years after Opposing Force/HL1 and the events after HL2 (before Ep2), saved by Father Grigori. Their goal is to escape the city and return to Ravenholm while Grigori works to build “immunity” by injecting himself with Headcrab’s blood. Unfortunately, this will mutate him into a monster boss Adrian has to defeat. Secretly, I hope we get a mention of Forzen having some kind of contact with Grigori. I love a good, unintentional father-son relationship :) The Borealis is a large Aperture research ship stuck in the middle of the Arctic, first introduced in HL2: Episode 1 by Judith Mossman. In Episode 2, we get a better view of it through photographs which Eli and Kleiner managed to decrypt. Kleiner believes the Borealis could be used to defeat the Combine; while Eli does not think it is a good idea and wants it destroyed, assuming it will cause another Seven Hour War. Concept art for the cancelled Episode 3 (also famously known as HL3) reveals that Gordon and Alyx would’ve traveled to the Arctic to obtain the vessel. The rough plotline for it was that since it was equipped with a device that allows it to travel through space, time, and other dimensions, it would be sent to the heart of the Combine where it self-destructs. HL2 Beta is one of the most famous cancelled projects because it had a whole different atmosphere, enemies, and plotline to the game. To keep this short, I recommend you look up what it is. We will be here forever if I try to explain it XD (you’ll see why). BUT, we do in fact see 2 instances in the VRAI series [BBVRAI, 3:21:24; HL2VRAI Short: “why would the HEV suit even do this”]:

Next to Mr. Cheese are kid worker models from HL2 Beta, who were used for child labor in the plot. Yes, there was going to be child labor in HL2 lol (at least they seem to be happy playing with the mouse in the VRAI universe). As for the “HL2 Beta Branch HEV Suit,” I’m unsure what that exactly means because the Beta HEV Suit had a different design than the Food Suit. It could be referring to the fact HL2VRAI comes from the same game copy as HLVRAI1, which is a beta build according to the backstory. I’m not really sure, lol. But it’s an interesting wordage.

Now that’s out of the way, I’ll give you my personal interpretation of what this dream sequence meant to me. I think this represents the Player merging with the identity of “Gordon Freeman.” I talked a little more about it in this post, but there is always a point in this series where the Player struggles to separate himself from the character, Gordon Freeman. We see moments to suggest this in HL1 and HLAGE: when his arm was removed, when he tried to escape from Coomer, when he defeatedly accepts his new identity as Gordon after his failed attempt in trying to roleplay as Alyx, and when he changed his mind about leaving the Gnome behind. He said it himself; he does not care what anyone thinks [HLAGE, The End, 51:04]. Not even Baaulp or Gabe Newell. The Game does not make this any better by reminding him that he will ONLY be and ALWAYS will be Gordon Freeman. No matter how much he tries to be a different person. For instance, 1) the instructions to even play the game are to “roleplay as Gordon Freeman” or else the AI will “break.” 2) The Gnomes and Peppa Pig refuse to call him by any other name except Gordon. Going as far to make a movie under his “fake” name because that is who he’s meant to be. 3) The Game offered him the crowbar by the beach. Not Stain or anyone else. It WANTS him to be Gordon Freeman. 4) It is suggested that the Game/VR headset can psychologically fucks with his brain into thinking that everything is real (see below). No other beta testers, game devs, or Gabe himself will adorn this title. The more he becomes this person, the spectrum of what’s real and fake becomes blurrier and blurrier. (I also want to quickly remind you of Gordon’s monologue at the very beginning of Act 1 stream. Transcribed by @ tjodity!:

That specific wordage; “WAYNE” is not coming back. GORDON is coming back. And this is another reason why I do not believe his excuse about his return. If you are scared, why did you come back? Why do you keep coming back? What is happening to you that we can’t see?) Once the merging happens, you will notice that Gordon’s reactions get more emotionally visceral. He acts as if he could actually feel things, such as pain, when he shouldn’t. He takes things “too seriously” and personally (ex., when it comes to Benrey and the Gnome.) I even think that he gets cockier. Notice the slight change in personality in HL2VRAI after he recovers his crowbar. And most importantly, the whole “the Player influences the narrative” amplifies extremely so. Anger turns to hatred, worry turns to desperation, and confidence turns to pride. (I also think there are warning signs before the merging, such as Gordon being able to hear the AIs singing. Which we know that he is not supposed to, according to the Pig. He couldn't hear it in the Theater because the whole sequence that led up to that part likely broke his immersion. I mean, who wouldn’t be? lmao) His crowbar holds so, so, so much weight. First of all, in-game Barney was supposed to give Gordon his crowbar outside of Kleiner’s lab. However, as I mentioned in my previous post, our Barney-AIs, Stain and Benrey (for the record, I do believe they are the same person. Even if they are not, they are both supposed to be Barney Calhoun), were not there to hand the crowbar to Gordon. Additional Voices did not give one to him because that is not his supposed role (neither is Leonard’s role. Both are just filling the empty space Stain/Benrey left behind in order for the game to continue to operate for the player.) ALTHOUGH, Gordon will eventually lose his crowbar around HL2: Ep1, where Barney gives him a new one. So, perhaps we will see Stain do his due diligence. Secondly, the crowbar is registered as a weapon within the game. Gordon’s inability to use different guns means he must fight with his bare fists and rely on his teammates instead. So, he lets the rest of the crew get ahead of him. Now that he has something he can protect himself and others after a long time complaining. A similar pattern we saw with his gun arm. Do you also notice how he keeps swinging, poking and pointing things with the crowbar? Even to the point of scaring Stain and Christopher with it? Hell, Gordon threatened Christopher that he will use it if he does not back down. Thirdly, I haven’t seen anyone talk about this, but like, why is Gordon not concerned about the dream he just had?? He didn’t even question why he was holding the crowbar in his hand? Grigori said that APPARENTALY, it had always been there. His reaction in the dream is so strange, too. No negative reaction or positive, he just went straight to where he saw the crowbar as if he had done this before. Extremely akin to what Gabe Newell said about his nightmares. He kept having them every night until the day “He” appeared. Is the Fisherman that “He?” Who knows. (@ ladylunora also points this out).

And lastly, it seems like Wayne also agrees with this sentiment:

(Can we also talk about how creepy Gordon was from the outside perspective? Just imagine, Gordon silently standing up, stares at the wall in front of him, his back facing his friends, and then he leans down to pick up the only known weapon from the floor. And you’re locked in with him in this tight space?? HELL NAH 🤣🤣 Speaking of, curious that HL2 sheds more light on the actual Gordon Freeman playermodel--the vessel. For example, it makes an in-game “drowned” sfx on its own after Gordon reconnects and when Christopher overhears Gordon “talking” in his sleep in Act 2. In Act 3, I believe that Gordon was in two places at once: Lost Coast and the chamber. Think about it. The Gordon who stood up in the chamber was not our Gordon; he was at Lost Coast. Instead, it was the model following his movements. Not the first time either, since in HL1, Tommy expressed that Gordon was flailing his arms around and almost hitting Bubby in his sleep, while we know he was dreaming about TF2 as the Scout. If he had a nightmare about being attacked, imagine the damage he could do to his friends from the outside? Beats the shit out of you for no reason??? If the Player didn’t finish the job, his own vessel will fucking do it. Such a violent person XDDD. Him holding the crowbar was already intimidating enough.)

As for the Fisherman himself, I genuinely feel like he could be a sort of Charon/Ferryman type of situation. The general depiction of Charon is a boatman who transports souls into the afterlife, whether that would be Heaven or Hell, across a large body of water. In the actual Lost Coast’s content, it is hinted that Gordon would’ve ridden a boat with him (I also say this because Dante’s Inferno, which Darnold referenced with his “Paradiso” line lol, has a Charon character). If we were to believe that the constant Water/Lake Motif we keep seeing all throughout is a representation of the digital world, then we can assume that the Fisherman is kinda a keeper between the borders of realities. Maybe he has a connection to the Borealis. It is a ship that traverses through the waters of inter-dimensions, bordering time and space. Perhaps the key to travel through real life and digital reality freely. There is a strong suggestion that Alyx, Benrey and the Gnome might have encountered the Fisherman, especially when both have visited the shores before (I like to think that Gordon left Alyx behind on that coast after removing his headset and gone home to turn off the game. He didn’t even properly get the HLA ending, so I wonder if that has to do with Alyx’s behavior.)

There is a common theme between Gordon, Benrey, and the Gnome when they encounter a body of water is that they reflect. They reflect back on what brought them to this point, past events, their relationship between Gordon and the AIs, their personal actions, thoughts and feelings. We see that both Benrey and the Gnome made their decision that this will be their end to let go. As for Alyx and Gordon, we have to wait and see.

That brings me to where I first found this screenshot, last mentioned in my previous post [HLAGE, Act 3: Part 1, 26:39.]:

I’ve talked about this a little, but this comes from a section in the episode labeled as “UNNAMED CHAPTER,” also known as the Anger Room. You can tell this is a different angle of the Lost Coast by the rock formation, although it appears to be a custom version of the map since the actual level had a much more crowded environment. Those large hills in the background with the white buildings on top is the nearby town + monastery Gordon would have to travel to with the Fisherman. What is interesting in the entire section of UNNAMED CHAPTER, the entire game goes silent, the Gnome keeps spouting that the Anger Room is where Gordon dies and when “will he face his sins?” That one day, he will be judged for his “crimes”, and “They” will not be so kind. Additionally, the section includes a moment where they encounter a dead corpse with a hammer struck to the head. The Gnome said this was his friend, Thomas. Thomas failed the challenge, and this is what happens to him as a result. That he “should do that to someone else, tho… It WILL be funny.” Clearly making a parallel between Thomas and Gordon. Once again, check out my post about what the Gnome meant by Gordon’s sins!

Another topic I think it’s important to bring up and relate to the Fisherman is the bear and ichthyosaur/monster fish we saw during the teleportation scene.

For some reason, I can’t help but feel like they are extremely symbolic. The bear is an animal that lives in the forest and, of course, the fish lives in the water, pointing towards the constant Water + Forest Motifs we saw in HLAGE. Yet, we see these animals completely displaced from their own habitat. You could also say that the birds appearing in random places, such as indoors or standing closely to people, counts, too. I’m not sure of the symbolism behind them, even though we keep seeing them since HL1, like the water, but they are animals that dwell in trees/forests. I’ll say they are the Game’s way of watching Gordon making progress, taking regard that everything seems to be watching him (The corpses, Alyx’s staring, Bubby and Additional’s keeping track of him, God watching over him, the city scanners watching him, etc). Peppa Pig could maybe count since wild pigs/boars do exist? Anyways, the area they currently inhabit is called the Wasteland in the game; areas that were damaged, infested, and ruined by the Combine taking resources from Earth or Xen flora and fauna. It’s worth mentioning that the coastal section of Highway 17 is part of the Wasteland region. Something that Lost Coast was almost going to be included in. Furthermore, the Fisherman is extremely keen on keeping Earth’s original species from going endangered. However, the fish beached itself, and the bear wandered too far from its home. Perhaps from the White Forest. Both come to regret their decisions. Both needing water to survive, as suggested by Darnold (“I hope the bear is thirsty!”) This could mean two possible things: 1) The animals are a representation of the AIs. If they were to escape their digital world into the real world, they would struggle and regret what they wished for (which we’ve seen with the Red Gnome and possibly applies to Dr. Coomer too). Especially considering that the water is a representation of the digital reality. Notice how the bear lashed out at Gordon at first sight. We’ve seen it so many times where the AIs try to murder Gordon for forcing them into situations they don’t want to be in, even if it’s not completely his fault. 2) The animals displaced from their natural environment is a warning to Gordon and the AIs to not stray off the path or else you’ll end up in a situation you don’t want to be in. The “path” could mean many things, like sticking to the in-game’s storyline, trying not to be aware that you are fake, Gordon has to make sure he stays in-character, etc, etc. As a matter of fact, Stain, Benrey and Alyx are completely out-of-place from the story. Benrey does not exist anymore. Therefore, other people have to fill his role. Stain has no memory of who he was or what happened to him. And as a Barney, he is not where he is supposed to be. He doesn’t even have his metrocop uniform. Then, we see that the plotline had completely drifted off from Alyx, where nobody recognizes her, but she recognizes them. Not even her own father. Ironic that the Fisherman, one of the most out-of-place characters within the game’s canonical story, is exactly where he is supposed to be in: the Lost Coast map. It makes Alyx and Stain/Benrey’s displacement so much more apparent. In a way, those two are in the same situation. They didn’t have anyone to call family or friends in the past. Nobody recognizes them. We don’t know their actual names in-text. They struggle to traverse the new world around them on their own. Both retaining some sort of cognitive disability (Stain’s amnesia and Alyx’s lack of mobility + speech). Their roles in the game’s storyline are completely butchered. They remind us of someone we used to know and frankly, nobody would've given a shit about them if it wasn’t for Gordon. Their only option is to let go of what they previously knew and follow Freeman. To experience the world for what it is rather than what it should’ve been.