Clueless Crumpet @cluelesscrumpet - Tumblr Blog

HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT

HADESTOWN NATION WE STAY WINNING

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physiqueandfantasy

Congratulations card

made by me!

soon to be available as a greeting card

totheoldhouse

POSTING ALONE CUZ THIS GENUINELY MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD

stroebe2

June and July are the same months btw. They want you to think they're two different months but it's the same month that's 60 days long. Same way August is actually August and the first half of September

whimsical-catacombs

literally every problem i've had in my adult life has been solved by open and honest communication. which is fucking stupid, first of all

whimsical-catacombs

like i can't even just a little bit solve my problems with wanton violence? for real??

whimsical-catacombs

i'm like a caricature in a children's show. "and then Whimsy took a deep breath, made a few polite phonecalls, and everything resolved itself 🥰" fucking hell man when do i get to punch someone hard as fuck in the jaw

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fluentisonus

they're trying to get me to do something called ""my job"" instead of reading about medieval english poaching laws

wizardarchetypes

the misbehavior of random men will never cease to amaze me. i was just riding my bike to the library. it's a little purple e-bike. when some guy ripped out in front of me from a cross street, almost making me crash. on his BIGGER tougher e-bike. then he slowed down so i had to almost stop pedaling completely, and he started to serpentine widely so i couldn't pass him and every time i got close he cut me off and slowed down.

this was outrageously absurd because we were on bikes, so we were about 1 metre apart from each other and i could have just spoken - not even shouted - and told him to fuck off or cut it out. but i was also acutely aware that the same proximity would also make it very easy for any escalation to turn ugly, so i just kept slowing down to try to let him get ahead of me, until he finally got bored and cut down another street.

i was pure fuming like. how are you going to harass me on a BIKE. you're on a fucking E-BIKE dude. the other awful men whose esteem i'm sure you hold yourself to think you look stupid. they're on podcasts saying biking lowers your testosterone. why are you beefing with ME

wizardarchetypes

the other week i was outside reading while my bike parked nearby when a group of old guys passed it and started talking about it. they all started complimenting the model of the bike but then one of them was like "you wouldn't catch me dead riding one that color though" and the other guys were like "hahaha can you imagine??"

don't get me wrong i could not care less but im so baffled at the ability to be infected with the brand of toxic masculinity that makes you incapable of associating yourself with purple, but also feel macho on your electric bicycle. like how do you not realize other men who think the same as you think that you look stupid on your steel-gray e-bikes. they're calling you names from their diesel trucks. you should be on my side.

funny-tik-toks

asynca

so this is very stark to me and a middle-aged person

in my late teens/early 20s, it was the late 90s, early 2000s. Everything was FUCKING GREAT. Like I personally had issues with my parents because I'm gay, but in general I had a shit tonne of friends, we were all poor but we all supported each other, housing was affordable. I made $100 a week in my job, $55 was rent, $20 a week bought me enough ramen, bread, milk and butter for the fruit my friends gave me from their trees in their rental properties to be enough. We were all having fun, studying at university, and hopeful for the future.

I just saw a post here about how your 20s are all about you texting backwards and forwards "sorry for not responding to your message, I'm not okay" and it hit me: I know a lot of people circa 15-30 years old. I hardly know any happy ones. Everyone is fucking miserable. Everyone is poor, angry, and finding it difficult to imagine a good future. Every is mentally ill because every possible thing that could trigger any latent capacity to develop mental illness is triggering it.

guys, you were fucking robbed.

It's not supposed to be like this. it's not fucking normal. We should be rioting. but we're all too fuckign tired from working 10 jobs and not being able to afford food or housing. by fucking design.

you all deserve happy, joyful youths where you can imagine a bright future ahead. not this.

dubiousculturalartifact

The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

It ain’t Kermit

enthusispastic

"Go ham" is an offensive choice of words :/

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wasyago

just some guys on a break

ryebreadgf

yayyyy

jomiddlemarch

weaver-z

The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

rockshitty

The moon landing was fake: tired, passé, heard it before

The moon landing was an elaborate marriage proposal: fresh! sexy! I’m going to be thinking about this for months!

weaver-z

Romcom where two dudes in the 1960s fall in love and come up with an elaborate plan to become astronauts to get married in space because gay marriage is illegal everywhere but it can’t be illegal on the moon

explorerrowan

Might make things a little awkward for Mike Collins.

soaringsearingphoenix

He was the officiator

explorerrowan

This is an excellent take. He officiated in orbit, and the landing was their Honey Moon.

cipheramnesia

Oh my god they were moon mates.

themoonwheniamlost

THEY WERE MOON MATES

mooncustafer

Happy Anniversary to Buzz and Neil!

lil-shiro

Idk why but i find this funny even tho i need context

dastardlydorito

stealingpotatoes

i hauve a cold

stealingpotatoes

happy anniversary to the funniest i have ever been in my life and happy one year of Lady Normalgirl and Her Eunuch!

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

oneatlatime

I love how Avatar perfectly balances "the kids are going to save the world!" with "which is pretty fucked up, actually."

oneatlatime

Wisdom in the tags.

oneatlatime

Yet more wisdom in the tags!

atlaculture

Why the show has great re-watch value.

desinteresse

Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.

little-trash-ghost

Can't leave this in the tags..

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