better to be a fart smella than a smart fella

See here is the thing, do I think Perpetua has a strap or a cock he was born with or some other situation down there? Yes. I think one of the infernal gifts bestowed upon ALL of the Papas is a shapeshifting party zone. Some mornings he picks and chooses. Some mornings it's a surprise. Every option is great. Big puffy with wrinkly abundant lips? Fuck yeah. Demure uncut thing that's the perfect mouthful? Absolutely. All of the Papas are like this in my head. That's the beauty of being here, in my head, with me. Sometimes Secondo pillow-fights so hard his dick retracts, but see he rolls with it. Terzo gets a dick so big he tucks it down a pant leg and into the top of his sock. Primo's running bit about having an unwieldy dong is because that's his favorite, but if you wanna come over here and look me in the eye and tell me that old man DOESN'T manifest gray pubes over a sweet little pussy you're outta your goddamn mind.

OMG SECONDO CLIPPPPPP!!!

it sucks that the overwhelming majority of medical messaging around salt/sodium is "evil poisonous substance that you're definitely already eating way too much of," because like. you do still need it. (trust me, as a POTS-haver, I've had to completely rewire my own brain about salt.) and you need more salt when the entire northern hemisphere is hot enough to fry an egg on. ever tried sucking down the recommended 64oz of hydration per day entirely as water, only to find you're peeing constantly without any of the purported benefits of being "hydrated"? assuming you don't have another medical condition that causes frequent urination, your body probably needed more salt/electrolytes to be able to hold onto that water and make use of it. if there was ever a time to keep a sports drink/pedialyte/etc within constant reach, it's when the heat index is 110°F/43°C.

got an idea for a sequel/follow up to this fic 🤦‍♂️ now i have TWO things to juggle

another history making marvel post I never see anyone talk about is “so is nobody helping blade kill all those vampires”

Oh my fucking god.

JESUS CHRIST

I’m still amazed at how they got a “noot noot” to sound so much like a “fuck you”