How To Properly Take Care of Your Clown

has escaped. This is not a drill. Task forces: initiate containment procedures by the orders of your squadron leader. All remaining researchers: follow the designated squads to the safe evac point. To any remaining volunteers: do not attempt to escape. You will be located momentarily.

Today marks the 40th anniversary of Starbo's fateful final mission. He shot for the moon and ended up amongst the stars. RIP

They really do!

It’s a common misconception that mimes and clowns wear face paint. This is because people falsely believe them to be a close relative of humanity. This could not be further from the truth - though clowns and mimes resemble humans, their pigmentation is completely natural. So if your “mime” need face paint, it can only be an impostor. Potentially a criminal, or mentally ill, or perhaps just weird. Either way, you need to call the authorities, but do not - I repeat, do NOT let the mime know that you’re on to him. While it is very likely that the worst that would happen is he runs away, who knows what he might do when provoked.

This is a holy place, you scum.

Good! Better it knows where they are so it can stay away from them.