he's not quite there yet

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@clownbow
he's not quite there yet

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learning languages is fun because in some areas youll be like "oh wow theres one word for this thing thats covered by 20 different words in english? thats so easy and convinient!" and then in other areas you'll be like "what the fuck do you mean you use different numbers depending on what kind of object youre counting. im going to kill myself."
one day grace hurts his right hand somehow and he's all upset bc he's like gosh dang it now i have to do everything left-handed. and rocky's like ?????still have other hand?? and grace explains the idea of dominant hands and rocky is like. you only have two hands. the FUCK do you mean only one of them can do anything
i get why people don't believe in marriage as a social construct but legally it is the best and easiest way to say "this is who i trust to take care of me when i can't take care of myself" and i'm so glad gay people fought for that right bc when shit gets scary at least i know im in good hands
This is how I convinced my conservative grandma that the gays do also need marriage, actually. My grandad died when I was 4 and I asked her to imagine not being allowed to see him or make decisions for him or be entitled to an inheritance and she got very quiet and conceded the point. Marriage doesn't intrinsically mean anything but as a legal framework it is really, really important
Whenever people ask me "why don't you know xyz, it's so popular" well see it's because
The world doesn't revolve around one country. What is popular over there might not be the same in another country and it's totally normal but pop culture for example is a global thing like most people know Ariana Grande. This is just an example.
Yeah pop culture is universal and most societies like the same stuff, just like how everyone knows who Zhou Xuan, Dhanush, and Mia Guissé are and we all know and love the classic holiday season movie Al-Risâlah

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I think it would be funny if most of Grace's eridian students went to him and asked for earth pronoun designations instead of picking for themselves, because they think it's cool to get word-gifts from the coolest teacher in the galaxy
and grace is trying so hard to not accidentally be sexist or assign gender roles to a monogendered species, so like, trying hard not to call someone he/him just because they like sports, or she/her just because they seem caring, or whatever. and he's having a hard time about it because he's like oh man why am I assigning the pronouns I'm assigning, i hope I'm not bringing any of my biases into this. just absolutely eating himself up over it
he tries to fix this by starting to roll a die, or throw darts at a dartboard, but his students immediately throw a fit because the point of the word-gifts is that they are specific, picked deliberately for them, right? and grace tries to explain gender bias and so on, but it becomes clear these kids could genuinely not give less of a shit, they just want to know what their AGAG (assigned gender at grace) is, alright? why is this so hard for him to understand??
eventually grace comes to the conclusion that he's on a different planet, and severely overthinking this, and that his kids really just are having fun--they really don't see the grace-given pronouns as categorization, he figures they see them as something more akin to astrology. or an eridian tiktok trend. when grace learns they call the assigning a word-gift he probably cries tbh
"teacher grace!!! what my pronoun question???"
"hmm. getting big they/them vibes off you"
"HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. THANK"
they killed him for this
Dennis, in all his midwestern politeness, always addressing robby as “Doctor Robby”, no matter what, no matter how many times Robby says, “we aren’t working, you can drop the Doctor, kid”
After they pull away from their first kiss, standing outside a seedy bar, breathing in each other’s cigarette stained breath, Dennis, leaning up, trying to chase another kiss, will mutter a desperate “Doctor Robby.”
And Robby will give him a quick peck on the lips, letting out a breathy laugh that makes Dennis want to curl in on himself, and reply, “Jesus, kid, call me Michael”

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yes no maybe?
When your partner of 16 years mentions the fact you kiss each other sometimes
stop. analyse that text through the lens of its author's intentions and original historical context. okay now take the author out back and kill them dead and analyse that text as though it were published by your mutual yesterday and is in direct conversation with the contemporary discourse that's most relevant to your life. okay now pick your favorite angle of interpretation and come up with the strongest possible argument against it. now imagine that the text is your best friend and that it means you well and that you naturally give it every benefit of the doubt because you're on its side and you want the best for it. now imagine that the text wants you dead and it'll eat you if you don't eat it first. now pretend that you found this text locked away in a cave with no evidence of when or where it came from and you have to divine its meaning solely through its internal coherence and nothing else. okay now address the elephant in the room aspect of the text you've been ignoring because you find it boring or confusing or uncomfortable and become the number one expert on it. now spend forty minutes assigning all the characters dnd classes with at least three sentences of reasoning each. okay now do the cha cha slide.
james ortiz is the only person who will see the light of heaven
every day I give thanks for the fact that the performer getting interview and podcast spots to talk about rocky hailmary is a latino gay person who a) has heard of gender and b) knows how to analyze a fucking script. imagine what kind of world we could be living in if they'd recast rocky's voice with an average hollywood A-lister and we were hearing their takes instead. we could be in actual biblical hell right now.
i finally got around to watching city council of darkness so here are some mitches i scribbled without looking at a reference

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ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs
after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?
i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out
Look whom I found at pride today