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you and eric love were by no means a match made in heaven.

it was glaringly obvious to everyone but yourselves that you and him were just no good for each other. although, that never seemed to deter the both of you from breaking it off and officially moving on. sure, there had been mini breakups here and there, but somehow you always found your way back to each other; whether he showed up at your door in the dead of night, a bouquet of your favourite flowers in hand, or you rung his phone crying, begging for a second chance. it was a toxic cycle, with endless fighting dissolving into screaming matches, manipulation and gaslighting leading into fits of hysterics, or the complete the lack of trust that built an invisible wall of resentment between the two of you.

at the worst of times, you wanted absolutely nothing to do with eric, once wishing him death to his face during a fight. sometimes, all you ever wanted was eric. to be loved, held, and cared by him. the good moments seemed to greatly outweigh the bad, which served as constant reminders of why you needed each other. eric’s own life seemed to lack meaning or purpose when you weren’t there. he was completely and utterly lost without you, and you knew that because he never failed to remind you, ramming his insecurities and fear of abandonment deep inside your psyche every time you threatened to dump his ass. without eric, you felt like no one else could love you as hard as he could, or fuck you as good as he did. sometimes, there were moments of clarity in which you believed there was more to be offered outside of what you had been getting from eric, but those thoughts erased themselves the moment he would embrace you, kissing your forehead so gently as if he were trying to cover a wound with a bandaid.

continuing to stay with eric meant losing friends. a lot of them. they couldn’t understand what made you stay no matter how hard they tried to sympathize. you were just too far gone, and they were tired of it all. so they left. some stayed in touch, just to make sure you were alright here and there, but others fully ghosted or outright blocked you. it made you upset for the most part, but no one seemed to comfort you better than eric himself. he would tell you no one else mattered, and that it was just you and him at the end of the day. of course, you believed him, since he had essentially programmed you to believe every word he said and vice versa. eric didn’t have any friends to begin with, so he never really had a proper outlet for sharing his troubles other than bottling his feelings in or throwing things. when he fought, he would occasionally shove a chair down or punch the wall, but never as a display of his rage towards you, more so himself and his inability to communicate. his anger scared you, and your anger equally scared him. some friends even suggested you try couple’s therapy, but eric was never willing due to the fact that it would've caused clarity in the relationship, a dangerous concept that meant neither of you coming back to each other. at this point, there wasn’t much you or eric could do that couldn’t keep you from coming back to each other. you had already accepted this life, and eric would accept the same.

you were in the midst of dealing with one of your latest breakups when one of the last friends you had phoned you. it was surprising to say the least, though you wasted no time answering.

“hey babe, everything alright?”she said.

you looked around your disorderly room from your bed, a clear indication everything was not alright.

“yeah, m'alright. just dealing with the usual.”

your friend sighed into the receiver as she already knew what you meant.

“listen, i know you might not be feeling well at the moment...but there's this party happening tonight and i would love to bring you along,” she said all cheery and hopeful, “plus, it'll help you forget all about him.”

'him'. even the mere insinuation of eric stung.

“um...who's party?”

“jamie's. remember her?”

“think she hates me.”

“oh don't say that. if she disliked you even a little bit, she wouldn't have told me to invite you.”

the corners of your lips break into a small smile at her words.

“is... he invited?”you bite down on your nails anxiously.

your friend pauses, clears her throat, then starts, “well...i believe word has gotten out about this party, but i can't guarantee he'll show up.”

you stay silent, teeth biting down harder.

“please don't let this be the reason you don't come! i promise it'll be a smashing night, and there will be tons of people to meet!” she said, sensing your hesitation to say yes.

“...i'll be there” you sigh out, rubbing a palm across your face as a squeal screeches out from your phone.

“i'm absolutely buzzing! this will be amazing, just you wait...”

you were already regretting your answer. "i'll talk to you later, babes" your thumb was already reaching for the end call button.

“text you the details! mwah!”

you threw your phone down onto the mattress, and slumped back into your pillows. it had been awhile since you attended a party on your own without eric supervising you, his arm always locked around yours as he stood tall like the intimidating man he was. this time, you wouldn't have that same watchful eye over you, like a vulture watching over a freshly deceased carcass. you imagined how many people would be able to approach you without him there, and it made you giddy just thinking about the newfound attention. the plan was simple; wear the best thing you own (a dress which eric bought you unfortunately), and make yourself look absolutely unrecognizable to everyone who knew you with your makeup. you were going to devote the next 10 hours into becoming the best, hottest version of yourself possible.

you stood outside the address you had been sent, clutching your vintage purse nervously. the house bumped with music as party goers pissed out of their mind stumbled onto the porch, vomit spewing onto the lawn below. you scrunched your face at them in disgust, but pushed past them anyways into the house. the air was warm and thick from the sea of bodies inside, your friend already waiting by the door for you. she embraced you in a tight hug, yelling into your ear that she hadn't seen you in ages. she brought you over to a group of people standing near the living room, some faces familiar and others new. they were genuinely kind to you, considering that you only believed people were nice out of fear of eric. one man in the group immediately caught your eye, and thankfully he looked nothing like eric which made it easy to flirt with him. his name was finnian, and turns out he fancied you as well, and offered to make you whatever drink you wanted, claiming he was a bartender in training, perhaps some shitty pickup line he came up with on the spot. you spent a good portion of the night going around and chatting with people, realizing that maybe eric wasn't going to show up after all. he never was much of a party goer anyways, always complaining about headaches from the music or the other men gawking at you. it wasn't until you were back to talking to finnian when you spotted a suspiciously familiar buzzed head somewhere in the crowd, the same style with the hair shortened around the sides and longer at the top. your heart pulsed, kickstarting your anxiety that he truly was here all along and you just hadn't looked hard enough. 'too many drinks' you thought to yourself, moving your attention back to finnian telling you a story, even though you felt completely unsettled in your little corner of the room. then you saw him again. the unmistakable flash of his face. your stomach dropped. you thanked god that he hadn't spotted you yet. a sharp exhale left you, suddenly feeling dizzy. finnian noticed your anxious state and steadied you by grabbing your shoulders.

“woah, hey. you alright there?” he said calmly, utterly unaware to the shark swimming in the waters.

“o-oh i'm fine, sorry um...i-i think i have to go” you say, readjusting the strap of your purse on your shoulder like you were ready to bolt out of there.

“wait, how come? can i drive you home or something?” you just shook your head at him.

“i am so sorry, finnian. i...”

“you what? what's the matter?”

“someone's here, i need to go.”

eric was slowly finding his way towards you, weaving through groups of people with mouths agape at his presence. you already figured that he knew you were here, and he wasn't going to take kindly to the fact that another man was chatting you up.

“who's here? i'm so confused-”

“it's hard to explain! just...i have to go!” you peered around the room manically, searching for some sort of unconventional exit so you could leave without eric seeing you.

“please help me understand-”

“finnian it's-”

before either of you could finish talking, eric had already found you, placing a big hand on finnian's shoulder which made him turn around slowly. clearly, he didn't know who eric was, so he was confused as to why a random man would walk up on him like that. you silently cursed yourself for not leaving sooner, and for putting finnian in such an awkward position. you just prayed that eric would be at least somewhat sensible in this situation.

“uh can i help you, mate?” finnian said without fear, picking eric's hand off his shoulder and dropping it by his side.

“i believe you can, bruv. you can leave me and me girl alone for starters” eric said, restraining himself from chinning the man stood in front of you.

finnian looks at you, confused. “you're dating him?”

you look away in embarrassment. “ex...at the moment.”

“huh..", finnian says, like he was connecting the dots in his head. "so...she's not your girl?” he looks to eric, who is visibly heated.

“it's...it's complicated, finnian.”

“no, i don't think it is” he said, earning another one of eric's hands on his shoulder, this time gripping him tighter.

“jog on pal, 'fore i make a scene” eric growls, turning finnian to face him.

finnian shoots both you and eric an offended look before walking off, not wanting to start an unresolvable problem. now, it was just you and eric. again. it had only been 4 days since you last heard from him, which to you was a considerably long period of time. he stood in front of you clad in his dark grey jumper and jeans that sat low on his hips, the waistband of his boxers peeking out. you had your arms crossed, avoiding his gaze. it was almost awkward the way you two were standing there silently. without saying anything and without needing to, he grabbed your arm and led you up the stairs of the house. on the second floor, people were either sprawled out drunk and asleep or eating each other's faces. eric led you into an empty bedroom and shut the door behind him, though not slamming it like you thought he would've. still, no words were shared. it felt like the air in the room got heavier somehow just from his presence, cutting your breathing into short breaths.

“what the fuck are you doing here, eric?”

“i'd like to ask ya the same 'fing” he huffs out angrily.

“i was invited here. were you?” your usual tone of sass slipping out.

“nah.”

“i was having fun, you know. until you had to come and ruin it all” your voice raises slightly.

“you was havin' fun with that fuckin' posh cunt? that it? and in the dress i bought ya?”

as he spoke, he slowly backed you into the wall, not stopping until he had you trapped under his figure.

“we're on a break, remember? s-so you can't control what i do, and i can't control what you do.”

“well i've done fuck all the past 4 days.”

“i figured as much. it's like you can't even be a normal human without me. it's really pathetic” you said, trying to knock his confidence down a peg. he just chuckles lowly.

“keep talkin' like that, see what 'appens.”

“it's not my fault you can't handle the truth, eric.”

he wraps a hand around your throat, not quite choking you but not gentle either. you inhale sharply as he squeezes his digits against the sides of your neck. he lowers his face closer to yours.

“tell me you missed me.”

you looked away, not wanting to admit you've been hurting without him. that you've waited endlessly for a text or call from him. that you wished he would just show up at your door with a plan and a promise to make things right.

eric uses his free hand to hold the side of your face, thumb gently rubbing over your cheek to coax the words out of you. you feel a sob wanting to rip out of you.

“i...” you start quietly.

“c'mon then. tell me.”

“...you know i do, eric. all the fucking time, i do”, your voice cracks as you speak, “and...i just wish we could stop doing all this fighting and breaking up bullshit...because i-it really h-hurts.”

tears fall down your face the moment eric pulls you in for a hug, a loud sob muffled by the thick material of his jumper. his head sits atop yours, just shushing you as he lightly rocks you back and forth. this was the side of eric you always wanted him to be. the side that could understand and deal with the hurt, not the side that pushed it past the breaking point. you try to mumble something, but the sound is too muffled, so he pulls away slightly.

“w-we're bad people!” you choke out another small sob.

“don't you eva' say that. we're...we're hurt” eric whispers, his hand smoothing over your hair. you just nod.

“d-did you miss me, then?”

“course i did. haven't slept a wink since you left, and i've been survivin' off'a cornflakes for fucks sake”, you chuckle lightly at his light humoredness, “last time i wanked, i started cryin' 'cause i felt like a cunt. i ain't a man wiv'out ya.”

“oh eric,” you cup his face in your hands, and he holds them there with his. “i'm so sorry for everything i said to you that night. we were frustrated and tired, but i didn't mean anything i said, and i don't think you did either.”

he nods wordlessly, the already small space in between you closing in before you pulled his face down towards yours, lips crashing against his in a frenzy. it didn't matter where you were, you needed him now. his hands roamed over your body as he kissed you like a starved man, keen for a crumb of anything you could give him. you whimpered into his mouth from how bad you needed this. both of your breathing became heavy, and you didn't realize this until eric pulled away to pull his jumper off. his bare, toned figure caged you in as he continued to roughly kiss you, a hand ghosting over your throat to keep you in place. you squeezed your legs together in an attempt to relieve the ache that was beginning to build between your legs. he noticed the change in pitch of your whining, the thing you did when you were desperate for eric to be inside of you. with his lips still on you—messy and eager, he grabbed at the hem of your dress and tried to shove it up. you helped him by pulling down your underwear that was absolutely soaked to the core, letting it fall straight to your feet then stepping out of it. you assumed eric would push you towards the bed in the room, instead he hoisted you up against the wall, giggling as you wrapped your legs and arms around him instantly. you held onto him as he undid his jeans, only pushing them down slightly as to not flash anyone who dared walk in. he slid you down, aligning his pre-cum coated cock with your slicked up entrance. it only took the mere tip of him to make you start whimpering loudly. he hushes you with his lips again, sliding it in painfully slow until he's buried inside you, the stretch of him always overwhelming.

“mm—eric! you're s-so big!”

“sshhh i know. you like that though, don't ya?” he mumbles into the crook of your jaw.

“o-oh yes, so much!”

he chuckles before starting a brutal pace, one that told you he missed the feeling of you without saying a word. you gasped loudly, arms and legs pressing into him tighter as he fucked up into you, back thumping loudly against the wall. his momentum was greedy and voracious, as if he wanted the whole house to know he was claiming you as his.

“e-eric! oh fuck!”

“'like it when i fuck this pussy? huh? that cunt downstairs couldn't 'andle this even if he tried” he breathed out heavily, his insecurity of you talking to another man finding its way out of his mouth.

“j-just fuck me eric! don't t-think about him. you're all i want!”

you didn't think his pace could get any more merciless, but it did, and it made you moan loudly, babbling and incoherent. he had you bumping against the wall so hard that a nearby picture frame fell to the floor, though neither of you were paying attention to anything but each other. his tip bullied your cervix so good every time he plunged himself in, scraping so deliciously against your sweet spot. but the rhythm of his thrusting was starting to build a feeling inside you, one that wasn't your release.

“wait! m'gonna s-squirt! eric s-stop!” you whined out, nails digging into the meat of his back to try and slow him down, but he just kept going.

“e-ericcc! pleaseee!” you cried, not actually wanting him to stop but also not wanting to make a mess.

“shh give it to me, c'mon” he groaned out. “give it a-all to me.”

you cried out when trickles of warm slick shot out, coating his pelvis and lower abdomen. you whined in embarrassment when it kept going, drops of the milky liquid slowly dripping down onto his boxers and the carpet below, but eric's pace never faltered. you squirting on him only pushed his release closer.

the sound of wet skin slapping enveloped the room, along with the extensive moaning that must've been heard by the other party goers by now. you knew eric was close when the thrusts became shorter—deeper, and his groaning transitioning into whimpers. your entire body was trembling from the amount of pleasure you were in, you even thought you could see stars from how good the drag of his cock felt. you pulsed around him so tightly, it made it hard for eric to even stand properly. at this point, you were so utterly fucked out that no real words were coming out of you. you were nearing your release when eric's orgasm ripped through him, his thrusts freezing momentarily as he emptied his cum inside you. he knew you hadn't come yet, so he continued fucking up into you as waves of pleasure washed over him, pushing his release deeper inside you. the force of your own orgasm blinded you, making you whine eric's name loudly as your legs squeezed around him, hips bucking wildly trying to chase his rhythm. you and eric rode out your intense orgasms together, slowing to a stop when both of you were too fatigued. you trembled as your feet landed on the ground, still holding onto eric for his stability. you stayed like that for a moment, just holding onto each other and catching your breaths. you looked up at him, and he boyishly smiled back down at you. he leaned down to kiss you once more, this time more soft, tender even. it reminded you of the first kiss you ever shared with eric, back when things were a little more different than they were now. as you slid your underwear back on, eric's cum was beginning to slowly percolate down the side of your thigh, which eric noticed. his hand moved to gently cup your clothed cunt.

“don't let any of that leak out, yeah?”

you bite your lip and nod, wanting to be obedient for him. he dresses himself silently, puts the picture frame back on the wall, then stands in front of you.

“does this mean we're back togeva' now?” eric says shyly.

“guess so...” you sigh. “...my house?”

“i'd like that.”

“are you ready for our walk of shame?”

“born ready.”