come in

You’re never alone. There is always calming cat.

had a dream last night where I took a uquiz called “what do you serve?” and at first the questions were standard but as the quiz progressed they became more and more highly specific to me personally and the answers became more and more similar and I realised the quiz Knew me and was forcing me into being honest by giving me no other option so I tried to click out but it just went to the next question which was “are you the spider? or are you the web?” and it had an option for each but I didn’t click either so it then turned to a text box and I typed “I think I’m the fly” and the quiz paused for a while and then took me to a results page that said “you serve truth” and the description just read “what you know will kill you but you will die laughing” so like. good morning everyone I guess :/

OP I think the devil visited you in your sleep

“What you know will kill you but you will die laughing” needs to be added to that list of profound statements from unlikely sources.

Enjoy a drink on one of my special coasters. Yea I custom made them (the coasters) to be so light the drinks condensation makes em stick to the bottom of your glass, but still heavy enough that when it (the coaster) finally clatters to the ground it's loud as fuck and shatters your nerves and makes you spill your drink everywhere. Why am I doing this? Well, it's a sex thing for me

op how does it feel to have been the funniest person alive at age eleven

The fact that the South Korean governmental Twitter had to go private because BTS announced that they're going through with their mandatory military service is so funny to me. The feds are no match for millions of furious teenage girls

Imagine if WW3 happens and somebody dies in a trench next to Jungkook

OOHHHHH sopranos like the singers

this website is a goddamn national treasure

Rack ‘em up

I could do that if I tried 🙄

When I get top surgery I’m going to start dressing like Dionysus in 18th century paintings. Nothing but a leopard print loincloth, a thyrus and a crown of ivy and grape. All the time, bitch.

Sometimes shoes. Those gold strapped sandals every mythological Greek bitch wore. The Trojan War 2000s.

Employee comes up to me in Trader Joe’s and asks me to put a shirt on and stop eating the grapes and I’m like “Do you know who I am?” and the windowpanes rattle with thunder and a lion roars and they back off and I keep popping grapes in my mouth.

(Technically, this isn’t about saving your hands… but if you draw, you’re probably doing a lot of sitting, so…)