Hey there, stranger

YES

“he fucked up my whole life” niall is unable to name what it was ruben did to him that fucked up his life. when he tells friends and family that ruben is the reason he’s miserable nobody understands. they think he’s overreacting, that he’s blaming ruben for his own dysfunction. but while yes everyone in niall’s life is callous and apathetic you can still understand how they would come to that conclusion because niall can’t admit to anybody, not even himself, what ruben is to him. he’s his brother he’s his abuser he’s his rapist he’s his first love. he can’t describe what ruben did to fuck up his life because there aren’t words for it

niall screaming at ruben in the hospital "why? because i was telling the truth" the first and only time he told the truth about ruben's abuse he was punished for it. scorned by his mother and maura and then fourteen years later beaten and raped by ruben for daring to speak out against him when literally all he did was stand in a courtroom and recount what he saw his brother do to an innocent man. years later ruben is granted the catharsis of speaking aloud the abuse he suffered at the hands of his father but niall never gets that. his brother presses his hands against his nose and mouth until he suffocates. he can't speak he can't breathe. this thing between them is forever smothered

(daniel molloy voice) did you cum on the kilt ruben