no such thing as too much cc

 So that brings us to Bonnie Blue Brilliance.

Once upon a time like seven years ago, I made my first ever family on the Sims 3 and tried out a rainbowacy (despite the fact that I didn’t have a single rainbow pattern). Bonnie Blue was the adopted daughter of the second-gen heir who then lost the heirship and subsequently disappeared off the face of Sunset Valley. Bonnie Blue was doomed to oblivion, being only faintly remembered for me inadvertently naming her after the Confederacy (IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE DAUGHTER FROM GONE WITH THE WIND)...or so I thought, until I found a coupon for Into the Future for $5 and decided that with a graduation gift laptop looming around the corner, I might as well have fun while I drive this one into the grave. 

Bonnie Blue, who literally wants to Make The Most Of (Her) Time, doesn’t even let me bother to shit out a house before traveling to Oasis Landing.

*twenty minutes of loading screens later*

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO COOL

“HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO COOL...”

“HELL YEAH POOLS”

“Welcome to the future, Bonnie Blue! I am Emit Relevart, and I am delighted to serve as your guide in the future that is yours for the shap-”

“oh god why that wasn’t even dirt”

With a mouth fresh full of what was absolutely not dirt, Bonnie Blue makes her way to a protest at City Hall. 

“DOWN WITH POLICE CARS DRIVING ON THE SIDEWALK”

Hey, nice catch on the blue chick! She’d be a great rainbowacy spouse. Too bad she’s a colossal bitch.

Felix Finn, however, is not a colossal bitch, and he and Bonnie Blue have immediate chemistry. With Gen 2 going to be green, Felix is perfect spouse material, if only because I’m a dumbass and forget that he’s going to get blue-ified if we rope him into the legacy now. 

I, too, only talk to potential spouses while surrounded by a crowd of protesters. 

Emit, who is the actual Perfect Blue Spouse and already close with Bonnie Blue but physically can’t be added into the legacy, does his best to worm his way into Bonnie Blue’s heart (and bed) anyway. 

“Damn it, bladders still exist in the future.”

However, so do jet packs, and they become Bonnie Blue’s second-preferred mode of transportation (until I found out that she could maybe die WHOOPS).

“Thanks for coming out to meet me, Felix. I thought we could take some time to get to know each other away from a crowd... ;)”

This is technically less people than before, so... it’s an improvement?

Despite having her potential spouse in Oasis Springs, and having literally nothing but an empty lot to return home to, Bonnie Blue decides to go on back home to the present. Despite having less than $100 to her name, Bonnie Blue decides to go eat out in style at the local diner. Despite being given a second chance at a legacy, Bonnie Blue seems determined to run it into the ground.

You have no skills, and no job - how the hell are we going to survive?!

“hurrr durr I WON THE LOTTERY”