Classics Matters

Martial, Epigrams 3.9 The word on the street is that Cinna is writing     Little verses that attack me. But a man whose poems nobody reads?       He doesn’t “write” at all! Versiculos in me narratur scribere Cinna:     Non scribit, cuius carmina nemo legit.

talk about feeling dead on the inside: +4 hellenist and latinist

read some suetonius or herodotus: +5 ancient historian, -10 modern historian

own a replica bust: +3 archaeologist

own an authentic bust: -3 archaeologist, +50 schliemann

find a hideously mistranslated latin phrase in a tv show and complain: +2 latinist for every minute spent complaining

cry about how you’ll never meet your favorite greek or roman: +10 historian, -10 dignity

stare into the unseeing eyes of an archaic greek kouros, contemplating the nightmare world in which it must live: +15 archaeologist

look at a full synopsis of a regular greek verb and try not to cry: +10 hellenist if you succeed, +10 latinist if you fail

watch hbo rome: -20 all around because hbo rome is Bad, but +30 historian if you pause it every 5 seconds to point out inaccuracies

host a toga party. make sure to serve such delicious delicacies as flamingo tongue and rotten fish gut sauce

discard any pants you own, as only barbaric celts and easterners wear them

find a she-wolf. she is your mother now. make sure you send her cards at mother’s day and on her birthday, or she will eat your face off

go into somebody else’s house. claim that it is now your house. tell them they can keep their possessions and culture as long as they pay tribute to your house-empire and worship you as a god

end everyone conversation you have with an exhortation that your enemies must be destroyed

speaking of which

Amanirenas: the One-Eyed Queen Who Fought Rome Tooth and Nail (c.60 BCE - c.10 BCE)

Okay, for real - I know few of you read the footnotes, but there’s a TON of nuance to this, so please read the full entry here before penning notes of inaccuracies.

Book here. Patreon here. Art notes behind the cut.

the revised version of “Caesar’s Getting Stabbed In The Back Again”

And remember - Zeus loves you! Just don’t tell Hera.

The 14 points of Fascism

Powerful and Continuing Nationalism Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottos, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.

Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of “need.” The people tend to look the other way or even approve of torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.

Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial, ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.

Supremacy of the Military Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.

Rampant Sexism The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Opposition to abortion is high, as is homophobia and anti-gay legislation and national policy.

Controlled Mass Media Sometimes the media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common.

Obsession with National Security Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.

Religion and Government are Intertwined Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government’s policies or actions.

Corporate Power is Protected The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.

Labor Power is Suppressed Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed.

Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts is openly attacked, and governments often refuse to fund the arts.

Obsession with Crime and Punishment Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.

Rampant Cronyism and Corruption Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.