CJ

It's 3am and I just discovered this song and damn it's the best thing ever 🥺 giving me all the unsolicited emotions rn at 3am 😩

for this lockdown period i thought of watching as many thriller/horror movies as i can before sleeping and list them down here haha

Gone Girl (Mar. 19 Th: 9pm-11pm)

The Dark Knight Trilogy (yes bcos the dark knight is definitely a thriller! lol) (Apr. 25-27 Sat-Mon)

Fracture (May 8 Fri : 11pm-1am)

The Silence of the Lambs (May 14 Th: 12AM-2AM)

Hereditary (May 16 Sat: 12AM-2AM)

Black Swan (May 23 Sun;  12AM-2AM)

The Handmaiden (May 27 12AM-2AM)

The complexity of Amy Dunne's mind is as simple as understanding this article. Nonetheless, Amy's methods are not exemplary. But that doesnt also take away the fact that she has proven a point. :)

''To set healthy boundaries with others, you must be able to set them with yourself. To set a boundary with yourself is to honor your own limits.''

--  What you’re talking about is codependency.

Codependents grew up being shown and taught that they as little children weren’t supposed to have boundaries, and that boundaries were bad. Now, every time they try to set a boundary with someone and the person grumbles, they believe that they have done something wrong. They also believe that they are wrong, since when they were little they had to think just like their parents, and struggle to hit the moving target of what their parents wanted them to be and do.

If a child is loved, the parent listens to the child and takes the child’s feelings into account. The parent knows that the child is little, and models how to listen to and accept oneself by doing that for the child, because the child’s feelings matter to the parent and the parent does not want to harm the child.

Unfortunately, narcissistic parents do not do any of this, yet the parents and the society are telling the child the parents love the child and this is what love is.This is why codependents grow up believing approval and love are the same thing."

-- A. Nonymous

"This is stunningly spot-on, from beginning to end. Especially the “confusing approval with love”.-- trav eler

"We need to stop telling kids that parents love them inherently because it’s really hurtful to children with selfish and abusive parents. Parents might obsess, ignore, hurt, or become attached to their offspring, but I can count on one hand the families I know where I can confidently say the parents love their children."

One of the reasons why the current generation that we live in still finds it hard to embrace individuality, diversity, sense of inclusion, and respect for one another freely is the existence of these influential series/ films that makes fun of color, gender, body, and race. They do it so casually that they continually to mock / discriminate people of color / gender. They make it look so cool to the audience when it’s NOT.

this quarantine imade me realize how much I love boiled kamote, nilagang mani, and some choco wafers lol. (also i miss msg and cholesterol and cancer and diabetes inducing foods lol)

i miss ying ying’s soy chicken T^T

i miss wasting money for food (most esp for ice creams lol)

i finally have savings for the first time but idk what to do with them. like do i just let them stay idle in my bank where i can easily access it or invest them somewhere lol)

ive been reading so many investment articles and house & lot properties for sale lately lol this is the itch of getting rid of them as I am not very used to having money lol

medium articles are practically my bestfriend this quarantine. the articles being recommended to me are always insightful and motivational. subscription well-spent! ;)

another thing that i learned from this quarantine is that u dont beg for people to stay. they just do when they really do. it feels so rewarding to finally feel independent of other people for your happiness. the moment u learn how to control your emotions and enjoy things for urself speaks something. It also feels nice to have that personal liberty of enjoying things that are beneficial to you without having to worry about someone else’s disapproval. The sense of detachment but still caring for someone is for another discussion. i’m just talking about how liberating it is of not being paranoid of what other thinks about ur personal choices, and by learning how to fully accept your wholeness and not letting your insecurities get in the way :)

now that im done with the dark knight trilogy, i wanna catch up with A24 movies! followed by Wes Anderson then Tim Burton if i still have the time haha

fave parts of the day: going to bed, waking up and staying at bed for few minutes (or hours lol), washing the dishes, taking a shower, going to the bathroom (gives u that precious few-second luxury of solitude to think/daydream abt life lol), and watching a movie in bed before going to sleep :>