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it loves us
it hates us
it is unfeeling

tannertan36
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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occasionally subtle

if i look back, i am lost
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@citruscrumples
The Sun
it loves us
it hates us
it is unfeeling
The Moon
it loves us
it hates us
it is unfeeling

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Azune is making me think about the role of tanks as something we take for granted as being a role above the table but which is… actually kind of fucked up within universe?
Let’s put it this way. Azune is, mechanically, a tank. He has 20 AC- which he can INCREASE with Shield! He hits hard, and his primary weapon (war hammer) requires him to get in close to enemies. Mechanically, he SHOULD be in front of everyone else. If Murray- who has an AC of NINE- is in a room with Azune, I would consider it an entirely viable strategy for him to try to soak up hits from enemies so no one hits her. We saw this type of strategy come in to play already with Azune acting as a first/solo attacker against that one Crow Keepers group.
People play tanks like this all the time without thinking too hard about the psychology of someone who thinks, “I should and will throw my body in the line of fire for others.” And the thing about Azune is- he is a tank that has been given that psychology.
Azune is absolutely, pathologically willing to throw himself on the sword for other people (see: the entire Hal-Azune conversation).
Interestingly, at the same time, he’s built to survive (literally, because DnD and in-story, he’s extremely good at combat and defending himself), because that’s always been his mission: first from his parents, then in the rebellion. Clearly, he develops a sense of other people’s importance over his own (his self-worth is external and based on use), but use is still often dependent on survival. There are edge cases, like in Thjazi’s execution, but in war? Especially if you’re a good soldier, maybe even have magic (depending on when Azune got his spells), the most useful thing you can do is to survive to keep helping.
So Azune ends up the perfect tank: strong enough to take and deal hits from his decade+ of survival, and utterly willing to defend the people he thinks are important at any cost, including his own well-being. Because of course he’s willing to take a blade for Hal, a spell for Murray, a noose for Thjazi.
He can take it, and he wants to. The survival- the living- and the helping end up too intrinsically tied; he’s helpful to survive and he has to survive to be helpful. This is what he’s for. When you live to take hits for people, you aren’t worried about dying for them.
And if he can take it- isn’t it fine? Isn’t it good? Isn’t it too useful to stop?
Imo the best type of system for children to grow up in would be one that assumes the birth parents/primary guardians won't do shit and takes care of every aspect of childcare that's essential for their wellbeing and development, collectively.
But I'm just a guy who only learned how to brush his teeth properly and got glasses as a child because we had both a dentist and a doctor come to school on a regular basis. The dentist would have us all stand in a circle with our little toothbrushes and show us how to brush and correct our technique. The doctors would give us general health assessments and then have the teachers contact our patents and essentially peer pressure them into getting us any health intervention we needed. My parents only reluctantly got me glasses because they knew the teachers would judge them if they kept seeing me sit in the very front row and still squint to see the chalkboard. So I'm biased.
The only times I ever remember seeing a dentist or doctor as a child was at school. I'm quite healthy physically and I'm very grateful for all the care I got from the various professionals who cared about my well-being and development more than my actual parents did.
We had free healthcare including dental, mind you, my parents just couldn't be bothered. When my brother, as a teenager, asked our mother if she could take him to his orthodontist appointments (which he'd already arranged for on his own) she basically told him she didn't feel like it and he had to take the bus.
If I could improve anything about that system, I'd take it even further and make it so kids could see a doctor and get meds, treatments, therapy, tests, disability aids etc. without having to rely on their parents as well. I shouldn't have had to put up with being bullied and guilt-tripped about the family finances and the time investment needed to take me to the optometrist every time I needed new glasses.
Some parents would not take care of their children even if they were given all the time and the resources. Mine are a great example of that — my mother stopped working and became a homemaker when I was in kindergarten, my father worked from the garage and was also always home. They had a car and our village even had a bus that would come once or twice an hour that would take you to the next two bigger cities.
Did that, plus the free healthcare, translate into them actually parenting and caring for us properly? It did not. They only ever did any of that reluctantly when not doing it would make them look bad, and most of the time they did a shitty job because they could never resist the urge to boost their egos by means of bullying literal children.
So I have to wonder: what did they actually contribute to our upbringing? Like they didn't teach us shit and mostly they just endangered our mental and physical health — but hey, at least they gave me cPTSD! That took some work too.
It's a nice thought that with the proper support and resources, all parents could do a good job, but that kind of fails to account for all those who are essentially overgrown school bullies who despise their children, think they're subhuman and/or mostly only had them because they wanted to have complete power over someone who can't escape.
If children born to people like that can't still turn out ok, the system just isn't good enough.
i simply don't think nonbinary people should have to see having our gender/s respected and acknowledged as a luxury. i think it's frankly sickening that that's the state of things tbh.
sorry i just think that the fact that popular binary jokes are stuff like "god isn't it so much better to exist as my gender, i didn't even realize how incredibly depressed i was until i transitioned, my life is so much more rich and colorful now that im out and transitioning :)" and popular nonbinary jokes are stuff like "i think i might be nonbinary but that doesn't matter because i have real adult concerns and no one would respect it anyways lol" and that's. normal and funny and cool. yeah. clenches teeth so hard they turn to dust
Sometimes after you’re married you and your spouse will take a nap together and you’ll wake up to your spouse jiggling your belly and singing the words “you got tofu all up in this bitch” in a really sweet voice, and if that happens it’s important to tell the singer that she’s beautiful and has never done anything wrong in her entire life or she will cry and then you’ll need to snuggle her while she’s all tear-soggy and that’s different than the other kinds of soft a wife can be.
its true

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every single time
if you'll have me 💘 comm for @eunnieboo of her ocs Momo and PG!
Fanart for @samthefrank and @humanityinahandbag ongoing Caine centric fic!
I think about the fact Caine didn't hear Kinger say he was Kingers greatest achievement... I think about it a lot
"You Look Familiar!"
Bill Cipher recognizes Caine from their old flat days. Yes, I'm continuing it. It's spooky how my humor fits them tbh.

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Anyway I think more video game quests should make you uncomfortable and guilty and mislead you and corner you between a rock and a hard place and offer hollow victories. There's nothing more annoying than quest writing that scrambles to assure you that you're niceys and good and nothing you put your hand on can ever have negative consequences. "You cannot save everyone" and I cheer and whoop etc.
Look at my birthday cake...
everything is okay
i live here
im a person
its okay to make noise
youre allowed to go outside
no one is watching you
hi sober me the morning after here and girl you were just doing laundry wtf are these affirmations???
youre allowed to complain
sleep is a right not a privilege
you arent rocking the boat
you arent a burden
One year ago today I posted this practically shot Iron Giant photo I created using real figures, lighting, miniature sets & my trusty old tin foil for water technique & cotton wool for the splashes.
That's... AMAZING!!!!!

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Wild caught clownfish will be like ‘hm you see, the anemone you got me is a slightly different color and tentacle width than the one I had back home, so I will not begin hosting it. I’ll be a sort of wandering ronin for the rest of my days.’ And then a captive bred clownfish will be like ‘ok so I have this curved rock I found and I just sit above it and it take care of me 👍’
Some of my favorite clownfish hosts
After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.
Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.
I absolutely failed at doing this: