WEMATANYE

I'm nervous.

It's going to be hard labor but it's a good excuse to get stronger without having to "gym" or"work out"

4 - 10hr days.

I'll get my own van in 2-4 months.

I'm terrified of different responsibility.

But I'm stoked to be able and have opportunity to make more money.

And I get the weekends off again finally after 5 years of all weekends. I'll finally get family time with my husband and our baby dogs.

My sister is struggling.

The kids are home for summer. They've visited at aunt's house for about 2 weeks. They just got back.

As a coping mechanism my sister is trying to help give the kids closure to move past avoiding the negative areas of the house where the incident occurred by painting over the existing areas to make it a refreshed new looking area.

I hope the kids aren't fucked up too bad from this

My sister and I as adults wonder, "would we be better off if he just died instead?" And "is the struggle worth it?" And "will he be the same?" And having a difficult time looking towards positive when it all seems so goal-less.

My poor poor sister and kids. I call almost every day.

My father was in Korea during this time so he was in the dark until yesterday. So my dad knows what his son in law did. What my sister, his first born child is going through right now.

Everything seems to be on the borderline of life and death.

My sister doesn't deserve this.

Her kids don't deserve this.

My brother in law had another suicide attempt today. Gun to the head. Damage to his eye and tongue. He's I'm surgery now.

My niece fucking heard the sound of him gurgling. She had a guest over. She heard it too.

My sister has to clean up her husband's blood. The EMT and police and investigators muddy boot prints all over their house.

Their house is currently torn up from having water damage to a wall and was supposed to get construction coming in on Monday.

My sister doesn't deserve this.

We're all crying.

I can't fly over to see her, I don't have my fucking Real ID card. TO FLY DOMESTIC. THIS COUNTRY IS GARBAGE.

I'm so angry. I'm so upset for my sister. My niece and nephew have to go through this AGAIN.

He was lucky not to have had permanent damage last attempt. This time not so lucky.

We don't know if he'll make it. But it's only been a few hours.

This is crazy

What I learned from going to my very first comedy show today:

1) sitting second row was the correct choice

2) I need to bring ear plugs to any venue now. Anything with microphones are going to be very loud.

3) my anxiety slinky stim is not an appropriate outward stim. It's not low key enough. It can be distracting.

4) 8pm show is the latest I'll attend

5) I did good by not cackling at the expense of others.

6) be brave and try going to another thing.

I had fun today, got free guest list tickets from Samuel J Comroe through Facebook! My first time ever going to a comedy show. It was fun. Awkward at first, I didn't know etiquette, what was and wasn't allowed, and I had to study the food menu of course over and over again before I got there, but I thought I was doing well! Until Adam pointed out that I was stimming PRETTY HARD. slapping my chest with my extended mini metal slinky is not, socially appropriate in a large setting. Granted it was maybe a venue of less than 50 people, for a crowd, I should have done my stimming more discreetly. Anyway. I had a good time. I think I will be okay going to more in the future.

Incredible. I missed them. We missed them. I'm so happy to see them together. Here are a bunch of screen shots. I'm gonna watch them next week too!

One time in middle school and high school I had this bus girl bullied me weirdly all the time. So one time she sat in front of me so I cut her hair.

One time in highschool, a girl tried to bully me for being my sister's younger sister (presumably because she hated my sister for being a hot ABG, she tried to take it out on me) so I threatened her that I would break my glass backpack bottle of hot sauce and stab her if she didn't leave me alone.

One time my best bus-friend in high school and I would continuously try to intentionally say the meanest shit to each other and one day I made him cry.

One time in college a "where my hug at" guy was at this party just man spreading over the couch like it looked like the couch was eating him. And he kept trying to hit on my friend who was clearly uncomfortable where multiple girls were like warning us he's grabby and that he won't stop. So I went over and "fell" and spilled an entire drink on him and "ruined his night".

One time in college we were at a party but some of the guys from the frat were being very mean and racist so my friends went to their kitchen, grabbed a trash bag and stole all their pantry goods of unopened new food and like 45 beers.

This is my personal 75gallon aquarium. This is my push cart I bought for work. I'm at work. I brought these things here to live, and today, while using the said self purchased cart doing other tasks,

Cart broke while I was pushing it, it slammed into my 75g and cracked. broke. A hole. At work. I'm. Gonna crash out.

I just took maybe the last hour with my Co worker catching all the fish shrimp Nerite snails and pulling plants to save all the babies and everything

I just cleaned the filter. I just cleaned the lids literally minutes before this accident.

I

Am.

Doing

Horrible

I want to die.

I just cleaned out like 45gallons of substrate and over 50 plus gallons of animal water.

The floors are flooded.

Idk what survived. Hopefully my shrimp which I've been breeding and growing for like 5 years survive and hopefully all are caught

I'm