?? : digital diary for any and everything i am!! i’ve had many accounts, and i change theme and username often. ☆

?? : i’m the one and only toby rogers. fictive. i’m a proxy. vampire-angel-prince, your little brother and your favorite slasher. i’m a demiboy, queer, mono and aspec thingy, and i’m TAKEN!! i’m with my sweet amazing butler brother @oxydyze !!! feel free to ask further about my ids. ☆

?? : iwcare always. i’m a delusional yandere landmine with bnpd, radqueer, profic. lover of any and everything twisted. i love horror, jfashion, animanga, and psychology. ☆

?? : ndni, anyone who’s chill is welcome. ☆

anons : 🐁, 🥀, 🕷️ . ☆

Vinnie can't make out anything in the pitch-black of the bedroom, much less without his glasses. On instinct, he bleary reaches for the bedside table to find them, but the slight weight of resistance followed by squirming and soft growling quickly scolds him into place. Small arms twist and curl around his neck and a head, careless of the large floppy ears atop it, ram into his neck. Gently, but obnoxiously. It's purring and growling as it gets comfortable again, like Vin had disturbed it in any meaningful way.

"He doesn't even need to sleep...", he thinks with a hint of indignation. That only makes him scoff, though. The absurdity of it. He'd gotten beyond used to HABIT that now he was silently laughing to himself about the qualms of sharing a bed with the awful monster. That was just how his life was now, though. He couldn't live without HABIT anyway, that was just reality.

He sighs, his hand absentmindedly cups its back to keep them comfortable and in place as he grabs his glasses successfully. He blinks, down at HABIT. Sleeping away on his chest, drooling. Floppy ears bent under Vin's chin, tail thumping happily on the bed. It's arms curl around his neck, claws pressing into far-too-vulnerable skin that, often times, he tears into with no regard. Like this, though, it's gentle like a kiss. It purrs and purrs, like Vin had finally done something so right by it. It gives him a sense of satisfaction that he should be disgusted by, but he only moves to let it closer, holding its waist gently and scooting it closer. It lets him, like this it has no real choice. ....Evan had always been small - strong and decently heavy, but little enough for Vinnie to carry like it was nothing with the lifestyle he had kept, and HABIT, despite it's impossible strength when it fights, didn't change that much. It loses and gains weight like it's nothing. It keeps such an awful, fattening diet, but eats nothing for days just as often. It's, physically, probably very weak and unhealthy when it's not putting magic into beating his ass. It was only its demeanor that made it seem so big and impossible. Vinnie could ever so easily lift it up and flat out throw it. But he didn't when he should've and now the idea of hurting it seems... wrong. It worries him that it's body is dying, and not only because it's... Evan's body. Actually... he tries to put that out of his head more often than not.

Vin rests his cheek against the long, brownish-black hair hiding fluffy black ears with the mess. It vibrates happily, twitching against him, purple tinted inner fur brushing his nose. He lifts his head up to look at the camera on the dresser across from them, watching him. It's usually comforting, and HABIT had ever so sweetly given him permission to keep filming himself sleep, even when it had decided to start sleeping in bed with him. It was nice, to be able to protect himself and keep an eye on the creature... to have something to upload for the comfort of more attention. But now, with HABIT laying on his chest and snuggling up with him... he doesn't really want them to see this. If not because it's embarrassing, because.... well, nobody else can really understand him.

He's a terrible, awful, evil thing. Cruel, to everything - but... that wasn't always the case. Even if they saw that, if Vin thought ut in anger. He was gentle with their cats, talking to them like he could understand them and throwing tantrums when Vinnie disturbed them. He was gentle with the.. monsters, too. In a way, He growled, insulted and yelled at them, but he never hit or killed any of them despite disobedience and constant mistakes - and the simple fact he hated how they looked, like he earnestly understood their lack of mental capacity and... was willing to meet them halfway and keep them anyway. And that had to mean something, that it couldn't be *just* pure evil. That it had its nature, cruel and distinctly nonhuman, but it had a personality, too. The ability to understand, care and love.

And then there was their relationship. HABIT wasn't always gentle with him. It hit, kicked, scratched and bit him, a lot. It threatened him with weapons, punished him in the worst ways and otherwise treated him terribly when it was upset. But it was just then and... well, all he had to do was be good, right? It really did try to be patient and reasonable with him. Regardless, the company was something Vinnie needed, even if it had instilled a fear Vin had never imagined living with... it wasn't the worst thing he'd had to deal with in the past few years. He had tried being alone again too, and it was terrible. HABIT certainly wasn't his worst fear, it was scary when it wanted to be... but there were worse things. Things HABIT protected him from, he'd remind himself of that often. He'd die without HABIT. So he didn't mind the pain he had to withstand to be good enough for it. But then there was the guilt. The things Vin had to do for it, to get its help and to keep its favor. To keep his spot as its number one. Vin was bait, to lure in people and help it extract whatever information or entertainment he could before it tore into them like a wild animal and tried to get Vinnie to watch. It was awful but... it wasn't his fault. He was doing what he had to do, and it wasn't even really HABIT's fault either. Is an animal really at fault for anything? It's just... what it is. His partner, his HABIT just... isn't a person, and it can't be but... aside from that, it was just fine. It was just a friend, a roommate. His companion, silly and clingy. All smiles. Weird and a bit violent but... not really jarringly so. Usually... it was a lot like Evan, in a way. Crazier for sure, but... it wasn't terrible. It was... nice, most days. They lived peacefully, all things considered. The cruelty was its nature, but... it really did put in effort, - effort it surely made him aware of - to be his friend. To make him happy.

And he was, wasn't he? Even if somedays he acted stupid purely because he couldn't feel like he really deserved to be. He liked the calm, the protection. He enjoyed cleaning and making dinner, looking after HABIT and their pets. Getting to do his hobbies. The attention, the praise and validation, the thin arms clinging onto him all hours of the day, it made him feel good about himself. To be needed, to be told he was good.

No, they couldn't really understand it at all... that's why, honestly, he's started cutting it out. All the sympathetic comments felt good, too. Even if it meant not being totally honest. He just had to protect himself and his life. That's all he was ever doing, none of it was his fault. He was doing his best. HABIT was the only one who understood that. With a sigh, he shook his head a bit and pulled the creature closer until it was almost entirely on top of him.

It huffed out a nose like a laugh and hugged him tighter, prodding his skin with fanged teeth. It was comfortable this way, and Vinnie liked his comfort more than anything.