cinemanjack

New Spelling Bee Rules For Trump’s America

“If I gave you a bowl of skittles and three of them were poison would you still eat them?”

“Are the other skittles human lives?”

“What?”

“Like. Is there a good chance. A really good chance. I would be saving someone from a war zone and probably their life if I ate a skittle?”

“Well sure. But the point-”

“I would eat the skittles.”

“Ok-well the point is-”

“I would GORGE myself on skittles. I would eat every single fucking skittle I could find. I would STUFF myself with skittles. And when I found the poison skittle and died I would make sure to leave behind a legacy of children and of friends who also ate skittle after skittle until there were no skittles to be eaten. And each person who found the poison skittle we would weep for. We would weep for their loss, for their sacrifice, and for the fact that they did not let themselves succumb to fear but made the world a better place by eating skittles.

Because your REAL question…the one you hid behind a shitty little inaccurate, insensitive, dehumanizing racist little candy metaphor is, IS MY LIFE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF MEN, WOMEN, AND TERRIFIED CHILDREN…

Piers Morgan got burned on ‘Real Time’ then dragged by JK Rowling in real time

The burn ward has a new entrant: Piers Morgan.

While appearing on Real Time with Bill Maher on Friday, hot mess journalist Piers Morgan tried to defend President Donald Trump’s executive order banning travelers from seven majority-Muslim countries from entering the United States.

After Morgan defended the ban by saying there was no ban, Australian comedian Jim Jeffries cut in and said, “Oh, fuck off! It’s a fucking Muslim ban!“