Deborah McMahon

"why can't they just be friends?" not in the homophobic sense, but in the "in your need to center romance in everything you are missing the whole point of the media in question" sense

youd think a band named violent femmes would be made up of violent femmes. but it isnt. its dudes

youse may bloody reckon a band name of violent femmes'd be a buncha sheilas after a couple bundy cokes. but it aint. packa blokes.

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

i have been in burbank for two hours, here is my review: this is the most spiritually corroding place ive ever been in. i was walking to get dinner and the whole time it felt like the concrete was screaming at me trying to confess to some sin i could not understand. every turn feels like its own loop. causality is wrong here. you can tell the blood spilled on the pavement was just painted over

i went to a good burger place though. check out Smashed Burger on n san fernando blvd if youre around

can my clairvoyant powers ever be useful goddamn!! im predicting shit like My Water Bottle Will Fall and not MY SCHEDULE IS FUCKED

MY CLAIRVOYANT POWERS #MYPOWERS

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

manifesting that i will make NO bomb jokes at the airport today

when the TSA asks if i have any weapons i will NOT chuckle and say "just my mind"

pondering what celebrities i would be most surprised to hear come out as trans... seth rogen #1 obviously... least surprised? i'd frankly bet my LIFE on a they entering emma mackey's insyagram bio by the new year... smite me if im wrong! also gonna forecast a buck angel detransition grift next summer with 80% certainty... a sean penn crossdressing affair scandal a la bryon noem will arrive by christmas with 70% certainty

DAVID DASTMALCHIAN