𓏲ּ𝄢☾

With the evidence we discovered, we successfully removed the nurse from the hospital. Jude then took Mila to Dr. Barel’s clinic where she received the care she needed.

After a huge discussion, we realized that Mila would likely be mistreated for the rest of her life for being different, and the likelihood of her being adopted into a loving home would be slim. So, we decided to adopt her after we received Her Majesty’s consent.

Jude immediately had a contract drawn up with the Queen’s Aide regarding the adoption, and any of our future children.

We moved her to our private home once it was safe to do so, and kept her there for a few of months until she regained weight and health. She’s terribly skittish of others, and terrified of the dark. But we’ve been working with her slowly to overcome her fears.

We named her Mila, and in honor of the memory of little Anne we met long ago on a mission, gave her the middle name of Anne.

We allow one member of Crown to visit at a time, so she can develop a trust with them without overwhelming her.

She speaks some words she really likes, and repeats them over and over, like “kiwi”. We’ve progressively been speaking to her while using sign language. I’d say her favorite word is “more”, she loves using it when she eats.

We’ve had our bad days too. She can’t effectively communicate what she wants, and sometimes hits her forehead with her palm in frustration. It makes Jude anxious because he’s afraid that she’ll hurt herself, and I worry that she might be in a pain that I can’t visibly see.

But little by little, we’re learning how to communicate and understand, and so is she 💓

She likes music, so her daddy bought her a music box with a little ballerina inside. We play it for her just before bed as it helps relax her. Ellis is living with us too for the time being, and each night he prepares warm honey-milk for her to drink.

If everything went according to plan, you should’ve arrived to the other stretch of it by now. Jude pulled his silver cigarette case from his breast pocket, it gleamed brilliantly just as your smile did that day in the shop.

“Jude, what about this? It seems high quality. The filigree is lovely, and you can even have your initials engraved.”

He lingered in the memory.

With his mind’s eye he traced the curvature of your radiant expression, every smile line of your eyes, the way your hair framed your face, and how you held out to him the same cigarette case he now owned.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“Fer touchin’ things ya can’t afford to pay fer if ya drop it. Now, put it back.”

A small, dry chortle escaped Jude as he recalled flicking your forehead instead of taking the case from your hand and how you pouted. He loved teasing that cute pout out of you.

“Tch, the hell am I thinkin’?”

He stuffed the case back into his pocket and stamped out the memory like a smoldering cigarette. The gulls cried aloft the harbor just as they did every day, but for some reason, Jude could’ve swore they sounded exactly as they did when you sailed from from the country for a business trip.

“Tch.”

Their disharmonious chorus invoked another memory.

One of him watching you board the ship supposedly sailing to the Mediterranean, and how eager you were to travel on his behalf. Members of Crown gathered to give their parting blessings of good luck, but Jude looked on from a distance, concealed by shadows.

In morning’s golden hour, his eyes never left the ship, studying you as you greeted the sailors, the captain, the quartermaster and walked around the deck, your eyes in awe.

“Busy lil' birdie,” He smiled.

And not much longer after that, you sailed away.

Away from England. Away from Crown. Away from darkness.

Away from him.

That was some weeks ago. Jude inhaled a deep smoky breath to suffocate the memory and lifted his focus heavenward. Through the smoke he slowly exhaled a sliver of the moon was visible in broad daylight.

It was a painful reminder, but also always a glowing beacon in the middle of his shitty life. But the moon’s wonder and beauty was nothing compared to your sterling, precious glow.

And your light needed to be protected no matter the cost.

That is why Jude lied about the business trip and actually had you sent the other end of the Atlantic. It was a rotten thing to do, but it was better than finding your body lying in a pool of blood one day.

A stout breeze blew some of the smoked cigarette butts piled at Jude’s feet across the sun-bleached dock, and into the choppy water of the port. He pulled a cream envelope from his breast pocket.

“Jude.”

Ellis called from the other end of the dock, but Jude ignored him.

His jaw tightened as he suffocated the letter into a crumple, silently reciting each line you penned to him from memory.

“Jude, I won’t tell you to not get hurt while I’m away, that’s too much to ask. But could you please at least try to not get injured as much as you usually do? It would make me so happy if you did that. I’ll see you again soon, with a promising report.”

Jude tossed the letter into the ocean pretending as if it meant nothing, but to no avail.

It’s not like his memory would ever let him forget how you loved eating the edges of a sandwich first before eating the center, claiming you were saving the best for last; or how you would boldly invite yourself to dinner with him at the pub, or how your cheeks puffed red when he teased you.

The way you took your tea, the shade of your lips, how you tucked your hair coyly behind your ear, or even how frustrated you would get when the type writer ribbon didn’t want to cooperate.

Jude was stuck with those memories forever and he couldn’t complain. It was a small price to pay if it meant it kept you alive.

“I miss all of us getting gelato together.”

Ellis chimed in finally standing by Jude's side.

“If ya got time to be sappy then get yer arse back to work.”

Jude turned away from Ellis irritated by how perceptive he could be.

“Hey, Jude…….”

“What?”

“How happy are you right now?”

Ellis’ gaze latched onto the sight of Jude’s back waiting for his usual retort.

But Jude didn’t say anything. He was as silent as an idol hanging on the wall of a church. Then, after a wake of water slapped into the side of the dock beams Jude listlessly replied.

“Happy enough to…...,” Jude’s voice clipped off.

“Jude?”

Ellis took a step closer to him and Jude whipped back around to him.

“Does this face look happy to you, ya nutter?”

Four words. Jude was tempted to say them, but he didn't. Thinking how devastated you would be if he died, he replied as he always did instead. As he glared at his assistant, a chalky white splat suddenly landed on his shoulder, courtesy of a hovering gull from above.

“Tch, bloody hell.”

He pulled off his ruined coat and shoved it into Ellis' chest, “Burn it.”

“Sure, if it’ll make you happy.”

Ellis bundled up the coat while Jude readjusted his shirt to tuck neatly beneath his trousers.

“Oh.”

“What now?” Jude grumbled.

“You bastard!”

Jude froze.

Like fine glass, Jude’s wish for you to enjoy a peaceful life shattered when he heard your booming voice come from behind. He had arranged things to make it extremely difficult for you to return so soon, but of course you’d be stubborn enough to find your way back to England somehow. And of course, his wish was trampled on as they always were.

Jude let out a short sigh and turned around ready to taunt you, but he didn’t. The moment he saw you stalking toward him, stormy anger and all, he decided to relent.

He decided he wasn’t going to push you away anymore.

“A blank cheque?!”

Jude squinted as a balled up piece of paper hit the corner of his eye.

[Reader POV]

The violent, cacophony of emotions that had built up over the last few weeks at sea were too great to voice.

A brutal, angry tremble spread throughout your body. Through narrowed eyes betrayal welled up in the form of tears. Unable to expend anymore energy you turned on your heel, without a word.

“Oi!! Where ya goin'?”

Jude grabbed your elbow and pulled you back into his arms.

“Let go, Jude!”

“Ain't happenin'.”

His embrace only wrapped around you tighter.

“I said let go, damn it!”

Gasping a sob you beat your fist into his chest as he wrestled you closer. His scent enveloped you. In the past, you would've found it warm and comforting, but now it was nothing but a source of pain.

“Look at me,” he ordered.

Hot, frustrated tears rolled down your cheeks as you stilled against him. Jude always had you dancing in the palm of his hand, but not anymore. Not after he literally sent you packing without your knowing it.

Look at him? Not a chance in hell.

Desperate to seek your own small revenge, you lifted your head and sealed his lips with a tear-stained kiss. Pressing hard against his mouth, you bit hard on his bottom lip and then shifted your weight so that the both of you ended up splashing into the harbor.

The break to the surface was slow because of the cold, but a hand quickly yanked you above the water.

“Hell’s wrong with ya? Have you lost yer marbles? Ya could’ve gotten hurt!”

Frantically, Jude inspected you for injuries, his fingers tenderly skimming your wet cheeks.

“OH, FUCK OFF!!”

You slapped the water, pelting him in the face with it, allowing you to distance yourself.

“This is what you wanted, isn't it?”

“Isn't it?!”

The water amplified your screams.

Finally unleashing all of the hurt, bitterness and frustration, you kept splashing water in Jude’s face until you wore yourself out.

“You should be happy Jude.......,” you sniffled, “you'll never have to see me again.”

Unable to bring yourself to look at him for fear of caving, you swam and left him buoying in the water with the salty sting of your vengeful kiss.

Fin.

So if you made it this far, thanks for reading. Originally, this was written for an old discord prompt. I had been wanting to rewrite it for a while now, and believe it or not I have been working on this rewrite for about six months.

Sometimes I feel up to writing and sometimes I don't. I am still contemplating an alternate ending or an epilogue since some have expressed interest for one. However, I find that if I have to force an idea into my writing, I don't enjoy my hobby as much. As originally stated, this wasn't supposed to be angst. It was supposed to be a fluffy drabble from a beach trip I took, but angst tends to flow for me more easily.