Everything that comes together falls apart

Me: *shows basic human decency to cashier

Whatever you do, never run back to what broke you.

Self Care

Just for the record darling, not all positive change feels positive in the beginning.

me watching taylor do anything this era

How to be Mindful in your Daily Life

friend: don’t you ever worry about men thinking you’re high maintenance?

When God made the world, He knew it would be a messy place. Likewise, when He made you, He knew things would get messy. God is bigger than your mess, He is with you in your mess, and your mess comes as no surprise to Him.

There are days or weeks or even months when I read the Bible and there are no grand epiphanies. There are whole seasons of Sundays when I sing praise and feel nothing. There are times of prayer where the silence kills me. There are great Christian books and podcasts that I eat up which don’t budge my spiritual life. There are too many times when I doubt the very existence of God and the sending of His Son. It can all feel like a crazy lie. I’m probably being too honest — but I’ve found that I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s in those times that I ask myself, “Am I out of love with God somehow? Am I losing my faith here? How do I get back to where I used to be?” But I keep reading my Bible. I keep singing on Sundays. I keep praying. I soak in books and sermons. I serve. I enjoy the company of mature Christians. I enjoy the fellowship of the broken. And you know what? Sometimes the clouds part and God comes through and His love squeezes my heart and I fall to my knees remembering how good He is. Then I read Scripture and can’t stop weeping and I turn on Christian songs in my car full blast and sing loud enough to scare the traffic. I serve with shaking hands and get convicted by those sermons and soak in God’s goodness all over again. So I’ve learned over time: I wasn’t really out of love with God. I’m just a fragile human being who changes as much as the weather. I was setting a ridiculous standard for myself that can’t be defined by self-pressuring parameters. I was tricked by the enemy into judging my flesh. My faith is based on His grace and not my feelings. And I think I need to relax.