dehydrated: thirsty for letters

how much space does one need to grow? some measure it in lightyears, others in breathing spaces between entangled bodies -- i, on the otherhand, in three letters or maybe two. Only by saying YES or a NO to you.

it felt more like a wave that touches your feet on the shore and burries them in the sand, like a bait that lures you and as soon as you let it touch you, you start sinking -- and that’s when you realized, you are trapped.

Love is momentary, like the waves -- fleeting. Staying in is a choice. A gamble of how deep you think you can go -- -- without drowning yourself and thinking it’s already too late.

RESURRECTION --

*flexed her hands

*inhaled

*placed them on the keyboard and gave them the feel of how it is to stitch words together again.

YES. I AM UNCOOL, but i write --

YES. It's a DOG EATS DOG world after all.

... if there's one thing that i've learned today, that would be to understand people who would always want to come out clean. I remember Poor Richard's Almanac that says, "Observe all men; thyself most."

Yes. after the interview that i had, i have realized that people should never really judge unless they have utilized their ability to ask questions and tried seeking for the truth; otherwise they should just keep their mouth shut.

CHOOSING the people who are deserving of our trust is a very tideous process that would involve time and a lot og getting to know talk -- THIS SHOULD SERVE AS A WARNING. 

Everyone should probably start with being very keen in observing how someone would talk and open a topic -- BE CAREFUL WHEN THEY START TO TALK BAD AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE IT WOULD ONLY SHOW HOW VERY MUCH CAPABLE THEY ARE OF TALKING BAD ABOUT YOU.

Having said this, I TOO SHOULD THEN LEARN TO PRACTICE WHAT I JUST PREACHED.

SUCH A PERFECT TIME TO STEP BACK AND CHECK MYSELF.

... when things go wrong, go to those who can make you feel right.

I AM BLESSED. Thank you Cebu.

... that strange piercing feeling in your chest that only a good cry can mend.

STRANGE.

FOREIGN.

UNFAMILIAR.

DESTRUCTIVE.

... i actually have written something beautiful about this post but  my PC crashed.

and so i will try to write it again.

i once had a good friend way back when i was in college who is free spirited, stood up for her fashion statement, stayed true to herself and to the things that she would want to experience, remained loyal to her genre, and fell endlessly in love with her music.

but this post is not about her.

this is for my COUSIN who is celebrating her BIRTHDAY TODAY.

Rojen May Fernandez. A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

i only have a few things that i would want to say to you.

... so let me start it with this:

MAKE GOOD CONVERSATIONS.

CHOOSE EXPERIENCE OVER THEORIES.

Be adventurous.

LIVE.

... you are now basking in the glory of being a college stud. and life will soon catch up on you.

MAKE DECISIONS AND STAND YOUR GROUND.

... i tell you, life will not be easy but i want you to make sure that you do what you want to do. THERE WILL BE A LOT OF FAILURES ALONG THE WAY BUT YOU WOULD GET TO APPRECIATE THEM AFTER ENDURING AND TRYING AGAIN.

i want you to keep this as a promise to yourself -- NEVER, i say NEVER REGRET ANYTHING.

i wouldn't want you to reach into a point that you would be badly asking for a TIME MACHINE.

moments and opportunities are things that you cannot ask to pass by again so have the courage to decide whether to take it or not.

DON'T LIVE WITH WHAT IFs AND COULD'VE BEENs.

There will be a fork in the road -- and life will always give you options -- YES LOTS OF THEM -- and you would only be required to CHOOSE WHICH WAY TO TAKE.

You HOLD THE STEERING WHEEL -- you can choose to go slow and enjoy every single thing that you encounter along the way, or to speed up and get to your destination immediately (that is if you have a destination in mind and i think this is where you should start), you can also choose to step on the break, breathe and go for a different route, or pull back and hit reverse if you're really chickening out.

YOU HOLD YOUR DREAMS.

you chase your fate.

you follow your heart.

... and always go after what makes you happy.

BELIEVE IN COSMIC SIGNIFICANCE - nothing is untimely.

Deal with circumstances with respect and acceptance.

DO GOOD -- to your parents, your sister, your friends, future colleagues, the people around you -- and most especially TO YOURSELF.

A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. Have a blast!

love,

"... my love feeds on your love, beloved, and as long as you live, it will be in your arms without leaving mine."

... there was once a romantic story of SUMMER and a MINI MOVIE THEATER.

i would always describe my summer as festive - colorful, fun, sunny and hot.

tank tops, swim wears, slippers, sunglasses, lots of basking on the shore, salt, sand, sea, waves, tan, watermelons, piñacolada, mango shake, villas, pool, cliff diving, non-stop swim, and not minding the ticking of the clock because we would never run out of time when it comes to spending it on the beach.

i'm a big fan of the sun -- and the sea. SUMMER is MY SEASON.

it has been 2 months since the summer season kicked off, i had a few sandy trips, not a lot of beach escapades, haven't really used my slippers and shorts a lot, not tanner that ever -- but my summer is quite interesting. it wasn't about the usual sunbathing and seeking comfort from the books that i have, not even about being solitary and longing for solitude -- totally different from my soul searching dramas and fulfilling volunteer work.

it is about work, career, giving my life a better direction, setting short and long term goals and REALIZING WHAT I REALLY WANT. 

it is about appreciating relationships that i have with my family, workmates, friends, and with a few special people in my life.

it is about being conscious of how much time left.

it is about setting boundaries, drawing the line, and learning to not be uptight to just let somebody blur or erase the lines that i've drawn.

it is about living every single moment.

about giving out love and letting it in.

about enjoying what i have.

about long drives, unlimited laugh, simple joys, giggles, and sweet smiles.

about time limits, 5min challenges, 2min, 1min.

about simple surprises.

about early morning greetings, wake up messages, fries and hash browns for breakfast;

about sodas in can, pizza, parking lots, mini movie theaters, 

about accepting realities and respecting it.

about falling in love and learning to fall out of it.

it is about seeing SUMMER in a different perspective.

... about blank pages with dates.

promises. lifetimes. memories.

SUMMER of 2014 and its remnants -- for keeps.

ESCAPE *close your eyes. think of happy thoughts -- --maybe memories of you running around naked when you were a kid and how carefree life was; or maybe the thought of when you had your first pair of school shoes; or maybe your first date; or your first kiss; or when your crush first told you that he/she likes you back; or the very thought of owning the bathroom when you badly need to poop.

and then SMILE.

... when life would start to act bitchy and throws you bitchslaps everywhere then just *close your eyes. think of happy thoughts -- then smile.

don't let the world get into you. don't let the opinion of others stop you from doing what you want to do. don't let criticisms stop you from soaring and NEVER. i say NEVER let other PEOPLE TELL YOU HOW YOU SHOULD BE LIVING YOUR LIFE.

own it. direct it. live it.

savor every drop of happiness. bask in the heat of pain when you need to. soak in the bowl of bitterness.

... then pull yourself together.

*close your eyes. think of happy thoughts --

-- and then SMILE.

GO GRAB! READY TO GIVE YOU MY 500 DAYS OF SUMMER. i am a sucker for the feel of the sand between my toes;

a lover of the sun --

mistress of the sea breeze,

... and have always loved to be intertwined with every graceful dance of the waves.

i crave for nothing but this -