i am here to preach the gospel of Allana Has Jacen’s Eyes
almost home
occasionally subtle
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Monterey Bay Aquarium
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

ellievsbear
YOU ARE THE REASON

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Peter Solarz

if i look back, i am lost
NASA

#extradirty
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Janaina Medeiros
DEAR READER
Keni

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trying on a metaphor
i don't do bad sauce passes
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@chume-damoved
i am here to preach the gospel of Allana Has Jacen’s Eyes

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caedus·
❛ 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓? 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐑. ❜ he laughs again, smile turning soft at his daughter’s words. there’s so much he wishes he could tell her, so much he wishes she’d understand if he did. he lifts a hand to boop her nose gently, a whisper of a touch, heart both heavy and burning in his chest. ❛ i like your mommy, too. i like you both, very much. and even if i can’t stay forever, i’ll always be with you, anyway. the force is good like that, i promise. ❜
❛❛ 𝒊'𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 . ❜❜ open sincerity , though she flushes with pride at his words in spite of it ━ unbecoming for the chume’da of hapes to openly relish praise as it is . the force is good like that ; she knows it in the sensation of her mothers lips against her forehead , or the warm brush against her mind when she wakes panicked in the night . she knows the force . ❛❛ but you can stay forever ! when i’m queen mother i’m going to make it a rule ━━ 𝑎𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 . then mommy will probably make you go home ❜❜
jedivong·
A SMALL SMILE, THOUGH the appearance of the girl has put her on uneven footing, tahiri had no right to take that out on her. ❝ i was the same. before i arrived at the academy i had no one. now i have a whole family. turns out when you befriend one of them, you get all of them. ❞ at least that was what she’d had before the war with the yuuzhan vong. even now she was not quite sure what leia thought of her. 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐒 ? her and han had pretty much always seen eye to eye, to the point it had annoyed anakin to no end when he had been alive. at least that hadn’t changed too much.
❝ that is understandable. ❞ why han and leia were leaving a child alone was confusing ( let alone a child scarred by war, like her ) , but at least tahiri was here for now. she was just DROPPING BY while she was in the sector. taking up missions for master solusars had been the best thing she had done in a very long time. it was like she had a 𝙋𝙐𝙍𝙋𝙊𝙎𝙀 again, taking direction from those who trusted her, had no ulterior motives. ( jacen’s voice still echoed in her mind sometimes — protect the queen mother and chume’da, they are your top priority. you live for nothing else. )
❝ and han will absolutely hate that. he’s threatened to deactivate c3po thousands of times. i think threepio does it to annoy him in all honestly. how long have you been left alone, by the way ? ❞ she’ll let that comment slide.
❛❛ 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑒𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑚 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑘𝑖𝑡𝑐𝘩𝑒𝑛 𝑑𝑟𝑜𝑖𝑑 ━ but still long enough that i almost wanted to . ❜❜ a heavy sigh , though a familiar smirk slides across her mouth , full and mirthful in all the places she had forgotten it should be . it’s fun sometimes , she thinks , to be amelia rather than allana , to shed the skin of expectation , heavy with the weight of legacy , and become someone whose life is somehow all the more easier . ❛❛ mom’s only been gone for half an hour ━ and anji’s here . she - . . . she’d gobble anyone up ! ❜❜
she steps back from the door , voice pointed as she waves a hand to the toy scattered sitting room , the snoozing nexu cub sprawled a haphazard mess of limbs over the sofa . ❛❛ 𝐢'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 ; i know how to take care of myself . ❜❜
remember when allana told han he didn’t want another wife because she didn’t need two grandma’s and he didn’t need two ladies telling him what to do
𝐣𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐧𝐠·
ALL SHE CAN DO IS STARE at the young child, her hands limp by her side. she looks so —- familiar that part of her feels rather ill. she couldn’t place it, not yet. the feelings does not subside after the child speaks. in that moment she realises that she hadn’t thought of anakin recently — far too busy trying to atone for her current sins. this was just another thing to add to the list. 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏 ? finally she pulls herself out of her thoughts, deciding to crouch down so she was eye to eye with amelia and take her hand, holding it gently. ❝ maybe in another time i would have been, but i’m happy to be your sister nevertheless if you want me. ❞
she would have to have a conversation with leia or han about the fact that she knew so much about her when she hadn’t even known they had had wanted to adopt another child, let alone a hapan orphan. ( tahiri had been a factor in two of their children’s deaths, could she really blame them for wanting to fill the hole that had caused )
a breath and tahiri would push through with a change of subject. ❝ is c3po here ? i want to say hello. it’s been a long time.❞
❛❛ 𝑖 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝘩𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑖 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝘩𝑒𝑟𝑒 ━ now i guess i get two . ❜❜ earnest , though she’d asked it more than once of her mother ; that too has a sour taste , a sting she’ll leave unmentioned . what would that have been ? 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 ? ❛❛ nope . mom made dad take threepio with him when they left this morning : 𝒊 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒔𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒂 𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏 . ❜❜
the hand drops , she takes a moment to push dark hair behind an ear , studying the woman in front of her curiously . ❛❛ you can come in to wait if you want ? i’m not supposed to open the door when i’m here alone , but i think anji could probably take you ━ 𝑛𝑜 𝑜𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 . ❜❜

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𝐜𝐚𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐬
❛ 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄'𝐒 𝐍𝐎 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝐈 𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐒! ❜ her joy is infectious — pure and childlike, and pulls from jacen an elated smile, one that is identical to that of his daughter’s. he reaches out to wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for a playful hug with a laugh and a voice full of wonder. for her, everything for her. ❛ you think she’d want me around that much? maybe she could let me teach you some yedi stuff …━ would you like that? ❜
❛❛ 𝒚𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒆𝒔 !! mommy always says ━ ❜❜ her voice raises , a mimicry of her mother’s clear and concise speech , velvet smooth beyond the breathless excitement that shudders through her body . ❛❛ ━ “ 𝑦𝑒𝑑𝑖 𝑦𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑛 , 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑 , 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑒 . ” ❜❜ the impersonation finishes as soon as it begins , twisting in his hold to rest her hands on his shoulders , studying his face with the open sincerity of someone intending to bestow great wisdom . ❛❛ i think my mommy likes you lots , yacen . 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐲𝐞𝐝𝐢 . ❜❜
❛❛ 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒑𝒂'𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 , 𝒊𝒔𝒏'𝒕 𝒉𝒆 . ❜❜ less a question than it sounds ; she’s pretty sure she can hear a muffled “ stang ! ” from the direction of the falcon , though she’s ushered into the spaceport thoroughfare before she can turn to look . 𝑆𝐻𝐸'𝑆 𝐶𝑂𝑀𝐹𝑂𝑅𝑇𝐴𝐵𝐿𝐸 𝑁𝑂𝑊 , though maybe that has more to do with seeing her own face ━ rust colored hair and all ━ blinking back at her again from the fresher mirror . ❛❛ can we get snacks ? 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 ? correllian food tastes weird - ❜❜
𝐚𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐧 : sc
❛❛ 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒑𝒂 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒊 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 ━ ❜❜ static cling , the air fizzles around her ( she sees the light , ember bright sparks , behind her eyes with each blink ) as she reaches out . a crooked smile ━ 𝑠𝑜𝑙𝑜 𝑡𝘩𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝘩𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩 ━ cast over silk - clad shoulders . 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐃𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐑 . ❛❛ this is me thinking creatively ! 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 ━ [ . . . ] or something metal is anyway ❜❜
𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐚 : sc
𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒆 ━ 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗃𝖾𝖽𝗂 𝗊𝗎𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝖼𝗅𝖺𝗂𝗆𝗌 𝗂𝗍 , 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗍 / / 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐨 of star wars legends , foreseen by anouk
❛❛ 𝒃𝒆𝒏 ━ 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 ? ❜❜ patient , a serene and practiced half - smile upon her face , studying him closely . ben must know ━ 𝑏𝑒𝑛 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑠 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑔 . ❛❛ what are dreams made out of ? momm ━ [ . . . ] my mother says sometimes they’re just your head making stuff up , but i thought my head was meant to be on my side ❜❜
𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 : sc

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𝐜𝐚𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐬
❛ 𝐈'𝐌 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘, 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒. 𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐈 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆. ❜ he smiles at her, warm and open, as is his connection to her in the force. and it’s true — being away from her, and from tenel ka, is the hardest thing he’s ever had to do, is the hardest thing he thinks he will ever have to do. but these fleeting, perfect moments are worth every minute spent in yearning. ❛ maybe we can ask your mother to order me to stay forever. that’d be fun, right? ❜
❛❛ 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒆 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 ?!? ❜❜ a delighted shriek , kicking her legs in excitement . sounds like a good idea to her . ( and her mother can do that , she’s pretty sure . her mother ━ 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑚𝑜𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑟 , 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑡𝑎’𝑎 𝑐𝘩𝑢𝑚𝑒 , 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑𝑎 ━ can do plenty of things most people aren’t allowed to . ) ❛❛ that would be so so fun ! you can stay here ! mommy doesn’t use her bed , you can stay in her room ! ❜❜
❛❛ it looked like that when i got here ━ 𝑯𝑶𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑻 . ❜❜ attempt at a innocent grin , though flushed cheeks and gasping breath break the façade no sooner than she raises it . { 𝑠𝑘𝑦 𝘩𝑜𝑚𝑒 ; all the luxuries of the palace of per’agthara , though the view . . . she’s always thought the view might be unbeatable } datapad and flimsi cast aside , desk pushed to the wall , chume’da’s own shoes flung across the room . ❛❛ 𝒊 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 ! ❜❜
𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐬 : sc
❛❛ 𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑎 . ❜❜ an offered hand outstretched , familiar dark eyes agleam with recognition . a far cry from all that came before , she sees now in the force twin gashes of hurt ━ a different story ━ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐄 . maybe love tears through everything in the end . ❛❛ they say you might have been my sister , once . 𝒊 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒆 . ❜❜
𝐣𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐧𝐠 : sc
❛❛ you were gone so , so , so so long , 𝒚𝒆𝒅𝒊 𝒚𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒏 . ❜❜ belaboured sigh , though she rests her head contentedly against his shoulder all the same . it’s warm here , bright when she closes her eyes , sinking easily into the plush sofa beside him . { 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑒𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑔𝘩𝑠 , 𝑚𝑒𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 , 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑑 ━ sad , allana thinks ━ 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚 } ❛❛ 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒍𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒚 . ❜❜
𝐜𝐚𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐬 : sc
n e way , baby starter call for the baby , bc she brings me joy and my brain still feels funky.

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Allana was four now; she was a little girl, walking and talking. Every time he sneaked a visit to see her, she’d grown a lot. Did she ask about her daddy? No, she was Hapan royalty, and even at that age she would have been schooled to remain silent about her parentage. How tall was she now? Was she aware of her Force powers yet? He had endless questions, the kind that a father who saw his daughter daily never had to ask
I’m not there for her. I’m not seeing her grow up. I don’t even have a holo of her.
;) Someone asked if I could do some Tenel Ka and Jacen, so…….