━━━━⠀⠀a ⠀white⠀throne

          ❛   𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓?  𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐑.   ❜     he laughs again, smile turning soft at his daughter’s words.  there’s so much he wishes he could tell her, so much he wishes she’d understand if he did.  he lifts a hand to boop her nose gently, a whisper of a touch, heart both heavy and burning in his chest.     ❛   i like your mommy, too.  i like you both, very much.  and even if i can’t stay forever, i’ll always be with you, anyway.  the force is good like that, i promise.    ❜

  A SMALL SMILE, THOUGH the appearance of the girl has put her on uneven footing, tahiri had no right to take that out on her.      ❝ i was the same.  before i arrived at the academy i had no one.  now i have a whole family.   turns out when you befriend one of them, you get all of them. ❞      at least that was what she’d had before the war with the yuuzhan vong.  even now she was not quite sure what leia thought of her.  𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐒 ?   her and han had pretty much always seen eye to eye, to the point it had annoyed anakin to no end when he had been alive.  at least that hadn’t changed too much.    

      ❝ that is understandable. ❞      why han and leia were leaving a child alone was confusing ( let alone a child scarred by war, like her ) , but at least tahiri was here for now.  she was just DROPPING BY while she was in the sector.  taking up missions for master solusars had been the best thing she had done in a very long time.  it was like she had a 𝙋𝙐𝙍𝙋𝙊𝙎𝙀 again, taking direction from those who trusted her, had no ulterior motives.  ( jacen’s voice still echoed in her mind sometimes — protect the queen mother and chume’da, they are your top priority. you live for nothing else. )    

      ❝  and han will absolutely hate that.  he’s threatened to deactivate c3po thousands of times.  i think threepio does it to annoy him in all honestly.   how long have you been left alone, by the way ? ❞      she’ll let that comment slide.      

            ❛❛     𝑛𝑜𝑡  𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔  𝑒𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩  𝑡𝑜  𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑚  𝑡𝘩𝑒  𝑘𝑖𝑡𝑐𝘩𝑒𝑛  𝑑𝑟𝑜𝑖𝑑       ━         but  still  long  enough  that  i  almost  wanted  to .      ❜❜         a  heavy  sigh ,   though  a  familiar  smirk  slides  across  her  mouth ,   full  and  mirthful  in  all  the  places  she  had  forgotten  it  should  be .   it’s  fun  sometimes ,  she  thinks ,  to  be  amelia  rather  than  allana ,  to  shed  the  skin  of  expectation ,  heavy  with  the  weight  of  legacy ,  and  become  someone  whose  life  is  somehow  all  the  more  easier .             ❛❛      mom’s  only  been  gone  for  half  an  hour         ━         and  anji’s  here .   she -   . . .   she’d  gobble  anyone  up !      ❜❜

ALL SHE CAN DO IS STARE at the young child, her hands limp by her side.  she looks so —- familiar that part of her feels rather ill.  she couldn’t place it, not yet.  the feelings does not subside after the child speaks.  in that moment she realises that she hadn’t thought of anakin recently — far too busy trying to atone for her current sins.  this was just another thing to add to the list.  𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏 ?   finally she pulls herself out of her thoughts, deciding to crouch down so she was eye to eye with amelia and take her hand, holding it gently.        ❝ maybe in another time i would have been, but i’m happy to be your sister nevertheless if you want me. ❞

  she would have to have a conversation with leia or han about the fact that she knew so much about her when she hadn’t even known they had had wanted to adopt another child, let alone a hapan orphan.  ( tahiri had been a factor in two of their children’s deaths, could she really blame them for wanting to fill the hole that had caused )    

  a breath and tahiri would push through with a change of subject.   ❝  is c3po here ?  i want to say hello.  it’s been a long time.❞

             ❛❛     𝑖  𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟  𝑔𝑜𝑡  𝑡𝑜  𝘩𝑎𝑣𝑒  𝑎  𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟  𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒  𝑖  𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒  𝘩𝑒𝑟𝑒       ━         now  i  guess  i  get  two .      ❜❜         earnest ,   though  she’d  asked  it  more  than  once  of  her  mother  ;    that  too  has  a  sour  taste ,   a  sting  she’ll  leave  unmentioned .   what  would  that  have  been ?  𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃  𝐈𝐓  𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄  𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍  𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 ?             ❛❛       nope .   mom  made  dad  take  threepio  with  him  when  they  left  this  morning     :    𝒊  𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌  𝒔𝒉𝒆'𝒔  𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈  𝒉𝒊𝒎  𝒂  𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏 .      ❜❜

the  hand  drops ,   she  takes  a  moment  to  push  dark  hair  behind  an  ear ,  studying  the  woman  in  front  of  her  curiously .             ❛❛       you  can  come  in  to  wait  if  you  want ?   i’m  not  supposed  to  open  the  door  when  i’m  here  alone ,  but  i  think  anji  could  probably  take  you       ━         𝑛𝑜  𝑜𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 .      ❜❜

         ❛   𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄'𝐒 𝐍𝐎 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝐈 𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐒!   ❜     her joy is infectious — pure and childlike, and pulls from jacen an elated smile, one that is identical to that of his daughter’s.  he reaches out to wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for a playful hug with a laugh and a voice full of wonder.  for her, everything for her.     ❛   you think she’d want me around that much?  maybe she could let me teach you some yedi stuff …━ would you like that?   ❜

             ❛❛      𝒚𝒆𝒔  𝒚𝒆𝒔  𝒚𝒆𝒔 !!   mommy  always  says        ━              ❜❜        her  voice  raises ,   a  mimicry  of  her  mother’s  clear  and  concise  speech ,  velvet  smooth  beyond  the  breathless  excitement  that  shudders  through  her  body .         ❛❛             ━         “  𝑦𝑒𝑑𝑖  𝑦𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑛  𝑖𝑠  𝑎  𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑  𝑚𝑎𝑛 ,  𝑎𝑛𝑑  𝑎  𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦  𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑟  𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑 ,  𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒  𝑜𝑛𝑒 .  ”       ❜❜           the  impersonation  finishes  as  soon  as  it  begins ,  twisting  in  his  hold  to  rest  her  hands  on  his  shoulders ,  studying  his  face  with  the  open  sincerity  of  someone  intending  to  bestow  great  wisdom .          ❛❛         i  think  my  mommy  likes  you  lots ,  yacen .   𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧  𝐢𝐟  𝐲𝐨𝐮  𝐚𝐫𝐞  𝐚  𝐲𝐞𝐝𝐢 .       ❜❜          

             ❛❛       𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒑𝒂'𝒔  𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈  𝒕𝒐  𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕  𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈  𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 ,   𝒊𝒔𝒏'𝒕  𝒉𝒆 .      ❜❜           less  a  question  than  it  sounds   ;   she’s  pretty  sure  she  can  hear  a  muffled     “   stang  !   ”    from  the  direction  of  the  falcon ,   though  she’s  ushered  into  the  spaceport   thoroughfare  before  she  can  turn  to  look .    𝑆𝐻𝐸'𝑆  𝐶𝑂𝑀𝐹𝑂𝑅𝑇𝐴𝐵𝐿𝐸  𝑁𝑂𝑊 ,   though  maybe  that  has  more  to  do  with  seeing  her  own  face         ━       rust  colored  hair  and  all       ━         blinking  back  at  her  again  from  the  fresher  mirror .           ❛❛      can  we  get  snacks ?    𝐜𝐚𝐧  𝐰𝐞  𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝  𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫  𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧  𝐰𝐞  𝐠𝐞𝐭  𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 ?   correllian  food  tastes  weird   -        ❜❜

           ❛❛       𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒑𝒂  𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅  𝒊  𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅  𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌  𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆         ━           ❜❜         static  cling  ,    the  air  fizzles  around  her     (     she  sees  the  light ,   ember  bright  sparks ,   behind  her  eyes  with  each  blink     )    as  she  reaches  out .   a  crooked  smile           ━         𝑠𝑜𝑙𝑜  𝑡𝘩𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩  𝑎𝑛𝑑  𝑡𝘩𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩         ━           cast  over  silk - clad  shoulders .    𝐒𝐇𝐄  𝐈𝐒  𝐇𝐄𝐑  𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑'𝐒  𝐃𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐑 .         ❛❛       this  is  me  thinking  creatively  !    𝒊𝒕'𝒔  𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆  𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆         ━      [  . . .  ]         or  something  metal  is  anyway         ❜❜

            ❛❛       𝒃𝒆𝒏         ━       𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕  𝒂𝒓𝒆  𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒔  𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆  𝒐𝒖𝒕  𝒐𝒇  ?     ❜❜         patient ,   a  serene  and  practiced  half - smile  upon  her  face ,   studying  him  closely .   ben  must  know        ━         𝑏𝑒𝑛  𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑠  𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑔 .           ❛❛       what  are  dreams  made  out  of ?   momm         ━      [  . . .  ]        my  mother  says  sometimes  they’re  just  your  head  making  stuff  up ,   but  i  thought  my  head  was  meant  to  be  on  my  side       ❜❜

          ❛   𝐈'𝐌 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘, 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒. 𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐈 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆.   ❜     he smiles at her, warm and open, as is his connection to her in the force.  and it’s true — being away from her, and from tenel ka, is the hardest thing he’s ever had to do, is the hardest thing he thinks he will ever have to do.  but these fleeting, perfect moments are worth every minute spent in yearning.     ❛   maybe we can ask your mother to order me to stay forever.  that’d be fun, right?   ❜

              ❛❛      𝒄𝒂𝒏  𝒘𝒆  𝒅𝒐  𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕  ?!?      ❜❜        a  delighted  shriek ,  kicking  her  legs  in  excitement .   sounds  like  a  good  idea  to  her .     (     and  her  mother  can  do  that ,  she’s  pretty  sure .  her  mother         ━       𝑡𝘩𝑒  𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑒𝑛  𝑚𝑜𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑟 ,  𝑡𝘩𝑒  𝑡𝑎’𝑎  𝑐𝘩𝑢𝑚𝑒 ,  𝑡𝘩𝑒  𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑𝑎        ━         can  do  plenty  of  things  most  people  aren’t  allowed  to .          )              ❛❛      that  would  be  so  so  fun !   you  can  stay  here !   mommy  doesn’t  use  her  bed ,   you  can  stay  in  her  room !       ❜❜

             ❛❛      it  looked  like  that  when  i  got  here       ━         𝑯𝑶𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑻  .      ❜❜         attempt  at  a  innocent  grin ,   though  flushed  cheeks  and  gasping  breath  break  the  façade  no  sooner  than  she  raises  it .      {      𝑠𝑘𝑦  𝘩𝑜𝑚𝑒    ;      all  the  luxuries  of  the  palace  of  per’agthara ,   though  the  view . . .   she’s  always  thought  the  view  might  be  unbeatable       }         datapad  and  flimsi  cast  aside ,   desk  pushed  to  the  wall ,   chume’da’s  own  shoes  flung  across  the  room .         ❛❛       𝒊  𝒄𝒂𝒏  𝒑𝒖𝒕  𝒊𝒕  𝒂𝒍𝒍  𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌      !      ❜❜

              ❛❛       𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑎  .      ❜❜         an  offered  hand  outstretched ,   familiar  dark  eyes  agleam  with  recognition .      a  far  cry  from  all  that  came  before ,  she  sees  now  in  the  force  twin  gashes  of  hurt       ━         a  different  story       ━         𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐈𝐒  𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐄 .   maybe  love  tears  through  everything  in  the  end .        ❛❛       they  say  you  might  have  been  my  sister ,  once .    𝒊  𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆  𝒚𝒐𝒖  𝒄𝒂𝒏  𝒃𝒆 .     ❜❜

               ❛❛      you  were  gone so ,  so ,  so  so  long ,   𝒚𝒆𝒅𝒊  𝒚𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒏 .      ❜❜        belaboured  sigh ,   though  she  rests  her  head  contentedly  against  his  shoulder  all  the  same .   it’s  warm  here ,  bright  when  she  closes  her  eyes ,   sinking  easily  into  the  plush  sofa  beside  him .     {      𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑒𝑒  𝑠𝑖𝑔𝘩𝑠 ,   𝑚𝑒𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙  ,  𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑑         ━      sad ,  allana  thinks       ━        𝑎𝑛𝑑  𝑟𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑠  𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚  𝑡𝘩𝑒  𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚      }                ❛❛      𝒚𝒐𝒖  𝒂𝒍𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕  𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅  𝒎𝒚  𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒚   .      ❜❜

n  e  way ,   baby  starter  call  for  the  baby ,  bc  she  brings  me  joy  and  my  brain  still  feels  funky.