charlie hm

……..sometimes you just gotta….open the windows in your house…….let some fresh air in…..change your bedsheets….make sure your surroundings are clean and tidy…..

me, talking to a dog: you’re soft. are you even aware of your mortality? of course ur not. u pure, wholesome and sentient unselfish being. do u feel that? that’s my heart. i love you. look at those ears. here take my wallet

i have to be silly every day or my brain will start growing mold

i need 2 nourish my body so when i die i can contribute maximum nutrients to the trees

my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. “your hot bread is done,” she says to me. disgusting

took my cat to the vet the other day and the vet goes “well I don’t see anything wrong here…. he’s just a VERY handsome boy” & i almost teared up

Diagnosed with handsome boy disease

why did i put up with shit from teachers playing god in high school. if a college professor tried to stop me from getting up to go to the restroom or get a drink of water i’d literally just say “no”, walk out the door, and go see a movie instead

toby fox invented an entirely new emotion and it’s the feeling you got the first time you read the line “despite everything it’s still you”

no offense but…I love water

oh to be a little dog sprinting at top speeds around the house with reckless abandon to release all the stress pent up from your extremely harrowing bathtime

newborn babies when theyre hungry and their mom isnt in the room and they think she stopped existing bc no object permanence